Ransom Captive Israel

Israel has been on my mind a lot lately. Omega (one of our ballet companies) just went a couple of weeks ago. Jeremy is headed there next semester. My precious grandmother and grandfather on my dad's side have taught me a lot about Judaism.....the Jewish people.....and the country of Israel. They are Messianic Jews, and so they have a very special place in their hearts for Israel....as do I.

The Jews are the apple of God's eye.....his first love. We, the gentiles, are the new comers, the adopted child of GREAT price. He loves us both....and none of us can come to the Father except by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, his only son. There is no replacement theology in His mind, just two lost children....and he deals with us differently.

As believing Gentiles, it is our responsibility to pray and intercede for....not scorn and turn away from....our lost brother, Israel.

This is my new favorite Christmas carol. The words alone make me want to weep. I can hardly sing this song without being on my knees crying out for the nation of Israel. This song beautifully displays God's heart for his people.


O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things far and nigh;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

I Believe

It is hardcore snowing in MISSISSIPPI. Just thought I'd let you know. I'm one of the few dancers who knows how to drive in the snow.....hence I and my fellow northerners are the DDs until the weather clears!


I spent yesterday afternoon at Baptist Children's hospital reading books to sick kids, praying for them and their families and just simply holding them. It was awesome. Ms. Cassandra (my Trainee director), myself, and my friend Jade decided to go and spread Jesus to these kids.....and I think I was more touched then they were.

I don't understand why Jesus lets little ones suffer. I don't know why he doesn't prove himself mighty and just act. I don't understand why God let's me struggle instead of fixing my heart RIGHT NOW. I don't understand him, the magnitude of his plan, or the responsibility of being his ambassador.

But I believe in Him. I believe that he has power.....because I've seen it. I believe that he is good.....because I've tasted it. I believe that he is LOVE....because I've felt it.

There are many things that I don't understand.....but that's why this is faith. "Faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Yes, there are a lot of things that don't make sense. There is so much in my journey with the Lord that makes NO sense! But the bottom line is that I believe in a baby in a manger....a man on a cross.....and a king who is coming IN GLORY. To HIM be all the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Love,
Julie

Psalm 37

Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
over the man who carries out evil devices!
Psalm 37:3-7


That is one of the most beautiful promises in scripture. Trust. Commit. Delight. Befriend faithfulness. The Lord WILL act. He IS faithful. Amen?? That's it. Just pressing on toward the goal. Love. Faith. Hope. We must fix our eyes on Jesus. Perseverance. Trust. Diligence. We will win the battle. Struggle. Surrender. Repent. Continue. We fight the good fight of faith.....and we win.

What are you doing today?? Are you actively following the Lord? Is your faith active? Are you trusting the Lord in your actions, not just your words?? Are you delighting in him? Or is faith a drudgery?? Are you finding yourself trying to do good in your own strength? Surrender. He WILL supply. You must first surrender. His yolk IS easy, his burden IS light. Cast all your anxieties on HIM because he cares for you. Be joyful always, patient in affliction, fervent in prayer. It is a DELIGHT to be with the Lord......getting the desires of your heart is just a bonus.

This life is so temporary. The words of the Psalmist are absolutely true:

Your presence is too wonderful for words!

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Even a small sparrow makes a home near your altar! A young swallow makes a nest for herself in a place near to you, El Elyon, God Most High!

Blessed are those who dwell in your house!! They have no task but to praise you.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who pursue you with their whole hearts.

Even in the hard times they rejoice. The Valley of Baca is a place of springs! The desert times are as an oasis because you are there with them.

They do not become weak, but go from strength to strength until you take them home.

Father, hear me, this is my one desire! Please grant this to me, because I am your daughter, look upon me with favor.

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For you oh Lord are beautiful and terrible, awesome and to be feared.
You are the giver of all good things; you bless those that love you.

O my El Shaddai, Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you!
Psalm 84 (paraphrase)

Life in the real world

Hey y'all.

Where to start? I haven't written in a while......which was actually intentional. There have been a million thoughts swirling all around and inside of me lately, and somehow I couldn't quite write any of them down.

Let's see. Work?? Work is good. I really enjoy my job. It DEFINITELY has good and bad days, but overall it's awesome. I love people watching (not the creepy kind! I just find humans fascinating, I like to study how people work). So anyway, being a server definitely lends itself to that. I have AMPLE opportunity to share about Jesus, I find myself talking about Him a lot, because there are always questions as to why I'm so different. I love talking to them about Jesus. I'm blessed with the ability to talk to people easily, making friends has never been a problem....and it's a very useful tool in evangelism. The Lord has really given me a heart for them....I want them to know Jesus! It's exciting....but not always that easy......

This is what I hate. It's SO EASY to become like them. The bad language, the coarse humor, the racism....it's much easier to join in then it is to resist. The fact of the matter is that it is exhausting to stand up for Jesus. Being in the "real world" is challenging. I've never been in THIS much of a secular enviroment before. Even last year, my boss was a "christian" and most of my coworkers were somewhat sympathetic to christianity. Not so with this crowd. There are many hurting people. Some involved in cults, some in homosexuality, some are single moms, some do drugs.....all of them get drunk on the weekends. It's funny how much they want to see me fail! They're waiting for the day that I cuss someone out, or take a cigarette, or sleep with one of our coworkers, or do ANYTHING....big or small.....that would make them feel better about their lifestyle. They want me to be okay with how they act....and it's hard to disagree in love! I either want to tell them that they're crazy, or I want to sweep it under the rug.....it's hard to stand for my values, but still relate to them and love them.

I have to be on my knees, I have to be in the Word.....or I would be easily swept away by the sin that surrounds me. Danielle (my roommate) is wonderful. It's really nice to have someone else their for moral support!

So, is it too late for me to say that I really feel for my friends that went through public school?? I never gave you guys enough credit. It's a hard thing to be immersed in all that crap everyday. I see now why many fell away....and I have a lot of respect for those of you that didn't.

I need more of you Jesus. More grace, more love, more strength, more passion, more self control, more ability to serve you.....to reach out to the lost.

Love,
Julie

Prayer

Mmmmmmm...."oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear! All because we do not carry...everything to God in prayer!"

Can I get an amen??

I'm such a dummy sometimes. I mean really, why do I neglect prayer? Of all the things in the whole world, it's my favorite. No kidding. I'd rather spend time in prayer then do anything else....and YET, it's the one thing that always seems to be pushed aside. An hour spent totally alone with the Lord is SO refreshing. It restores my heart, my mind, my body, my joy....so wonderful....yet I find it difficult to make time for it. I need to prioritize my time better.

Anyway, I had a really wonderful time with the Lord today. I sat out on my balcony, listened to some music, and just talked to the Lord. Wonderful. Much to my surprise (and amusement) I opened my eyes about 30 minutes into my prayer time, and two precious little kids were standing below my balcony, jaws dropped, with a puzzled look on their faces. I smiled, waved, and went back to praying. I can hardly believe how captivated I was by Him. An hour went by like a minute. SO WONDERFUL. It was one of those times where I really felt like I got to pray through everything, and got to prayer for everyone that I wanted to. It is SUCH a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. The freedom and joy found in casting your cares on him is immeasurable. I am so thankful for prayer.

Thank you Jesus, that we can come to God, through you, our high priest. It is such a privilege. Amen.

Love,
Julie

Election Day

Father, your will be done. We want godly leaders....but you know what's best for this country. You choose the man you want, you put him in the white house.....and we will remember that you are still our king. No matter what.



Isaiah 40 (select parts)

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?

Who has understood the mind [d] of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?

Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

"To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

It's all about Jesus......no really, it is.

I had quite the weekend. I got to share the gospel twice (once to a Muslim man, once to a drunk customer), I was robbed and I (along with my roommates) drove a drunk coworker home from work (he was hardcore drunk, throwing up and finally passing out in the back seat of Megan's car...Dani and I prayed...). It was all very surreal. I don't really want to tell you the whole story, because that would bring credit to me. It makes me sound like some sort of hero, or saint, or something really amazing and cool.....and that's a bold face lie.

Lately I've been struggling. I don't "feel" close to the Lord....I crave more time with him in prayer and in the Word, but haven't done anything about it. I go to prayer meetings, but mainly out of obligation. I've been frustrated and even mildly depressed about dance. Work is going well, but it's not without its frustrations. I've been pretty consumed with myself, my own emotions and desires, my own relationship with the Lord....This is not a pity party, the point is, I'm not a super christian.

It's all about Jesus.....no really, it is.

He's done some incredible works during these last 24 hours.....and I just happened to be the vessel. It amazes me. I didn't go out looking for evangelism opportunities...I literally walked right into them. I wish you guys could see how beaten down I've been lately. I feel like the walking testimony for 2 Cor 12:9-10 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I'm in awe. Really Jesus?? Really?? You want to use me to share about you? I'm weak, I'm sinful, I'm not a good example......you want to use me?? Incomprehensible.

At the same time, it's strangely exciting. It's amazing to speak and know that it's not you, but He that lives inside you. Sometimes it's an almost out of body experience....yet completely natural...to react in such a Christ like way. It's just simply not me. Julianna Arwen Rubio does not have that much goodness, Jesus Christ of Nazareth does.

Just goes to show that it's not AT ALL about me. Yes, I need to follow the Word, I need to be in prayer, I need to be ready to evangelize at any moment....but when I am doing those things and I simply don't feel sufficient, his grace is more then enough.

Thank you Jesus....since I seem to forget so often, I'll say it again, it's all about you, it really is.

Hosea

Hey y'all.

Well....I started this entry last week sometime.....I just never finished.

Last weekend Jeremy came down for a few days, and we had a marvelous time. We did a lot of different things, but one fun thing we did was go to see the movie Fireproof. For those that haven't seen it, it's EXCELLENT. Definitely a low budget film, but the message is AMAZING. It's about a married couple, and their marriage issues.....and how they work through them, to God's glory.

After going to see the movie, it made me think a lot about how God acts toward us. Actually, a similar story is told in the Bible....you can find it in the book of Isaiah. I've been studying Hosea these last couple of weeks. I love this story. It's sad, it's frustrating at times, but it shows the incredible, unwavering, immense, steadfast love of God.

Hosea was a prophet during a time when Israel had turned COMPLETELY away from the Lord. They were worshiping idols....prostituting themselves with other gods. The Lord was furious. He had chosen Israel to be his bride, his people, his one and only, and she turned her back on him. Heartbreaking.

In the past I've read that story and it seemed like God was so mean! The things he says to/about Israel are terrible. A few years of life experience, a little more wisdom, and having a relationship of my own have made me realize that all that God did was out of love. Yes, he was angry....but he wasn't being vengeful. He loved Israel SO much, that he let her go her own way. He knew that by letting her go, she would see how terrible life without him was, and she would return. All the things that happened to Israel were out of his GREAT love for her. He knew that the best way to pursue her, was to let her go. Yet he never let her leave his hand...he still had complete control, he knew exactly how much he would allow until he would restore her. He wasn't done with her, he continued to love and look after her. Many years later, he sent his only son to die for her...it wasn't about anger, it was all about love.

God does that in our lives as well. Once you know the Lord, once you have truly tasted his goodness, you can't enjoy sin. Oh you may, for a time, but God loves us SO much that he doesn't allow us to enjoy our sin for long! Those temporary pleasures always turn sour, and we are driven back into his ever loving, ever open arms. What great love! It hurts him to see us run from him, but he knows that letting us taste life without him is the best way to bring us back.....so he let's us go.....out of his great love.....all the while eagerly awaiting our return.

That's a beautiful picture of how marriage should be. I think that's why I loved Fireproof so much. That's the kind of love that a husband should have for his wife....and vice versa. So many people jump ship when things get tough. True love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, love NEVER fails."

Consider my servant ______.

We've been talking about the names of God in my Bible study. This week we talked about "El Elyon" which translates "God most high". The names of God all speak to different attributes of his character.....they reveal him in different ways to us. I LOVE learning about this. I have this weird fixation on names. I love to find out what they mean, because many times they reveal a particular strength or character flaw in their bearer. When I have children I'm going to give them names that tell of the kind of person I want them to be. My parents did things that way (to some degree) and it's really cool.

Anyway, sorry, that was a bunny trail, that was not the point of this entry.

I wanted to talk about Job. Now, don't worry, I'm not going through anything terrible....usually that's when people fixate on his story.....I just find the way God is revealed in this story to be incredible. Take a look.

Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

Okay, stop. Look at who starts this conversation about Job. Satan doesn't want to pick on Job.....God brings him up. How amazing is that?? God, in his sovereignty knew that Job would stand up to what Satan was going to throw against him. HE KNEW. God wouldn't have said that if Job was going to fail....what a compliment!

What does that look like in my life?? When I face trials and hardships I'm tempted to ask why. This story makes it seem like that is DESIRABLE not only for the testing of my faith, but also because it shows that God knows that I will stand."Consider my servant Julie. There is no one on earth like her; she is blameless and upright, a woman who fears God and shuns evil." I want that to be true of me. What an amazing thing it would be to be complimented by the God of the universe....and for him to know and to trust you to stand....knowing all the while that your faith will bring him glory. That's not a prideful request. I want God to be glorified. I want him to know that I will stand against trials, for HIS namesake. It is for this very reason that the apostles in Acts 5 "left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." It is a privilege to suffer. It is a privilege to be one who God knows will stand.

Put your name in the blank...."Consider my servant ______." Does God think that you are worthy of suffering for his name? And when he does bring those trials, do you rejoice??

Love you all. Peace.

-Julie

SO many thoughts......SO little time.....

So, this entry has no real topic....it's just a kaleidoscope of thoughts from the last week.

The loving nickname for the Ballet Magnificat Trainee program is the "B&B Boot camp".....and no, B&B does not stand for "bed and breakfast" it stands for "bible and ballet."

Lately, it's been more of the former, less of the other. The Lord has been challenging me to move to the "next level" in him. He is no longer letting the little things slide. No. They need to be cut out of my life. There is no more room for these "harmless" habits or personality defects.

He's also been asking me to step out of my comfort zone in terms of leading.....and following. I've been given a lot of responsibility here. I'm leading two prayer groups, one for my student bible study, one for the B. Mag intercession group. That is how he's challenging me to lead....I'm responsible to hear from him, to seek him, on the behalf of others. It's not just about my walk with the Lord, it's about following Christ so that others have an example to follow. Humbling. The other thing that he's been testing is my ability to follow. I don't always agree with the leaders here. I don't always like what the important people in my life have to say. NEVERTHELESS, I am still responsible to be humble and to accept correction. Just because God is asking me to lead in some areas, DOES NOT mean that I have it all together. I am under authority still....that's a hard balance sometimes. It's hard to switch from being the leader to the follower, but it's an important balance that I'll need for the rest of my life.

The other thought I've been having lately: I am so comfortable being an adult. I've always wanted to be one, really, since I was five I've wanted to be "all grown up".....it finally dawned on me the other day that I am one. Not that I have it all together, not that I'm done learning, not that at all....just that this is MY life and I'm living it. Last year I felt like a little kid playing dress up....like this wasn't really my life, it was just pretend. It's slowly dawned on me that this is my life, it's not a dress rehearsal. I enjoy it so much. The independence, the freedom to discover who I am, who God is, the joy of living life with the amazing girls here. This is a WONDERFUL phase of life, I love it.

Last thing: Come Lord Jesus, come! I've been thinking a lot about him coming back, I hope it's soon! I love this verse of the song, "You're beautiful" by Phil Wickham.

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing You're beautiful

Amen. Come Lord Jesus, come!

The things of earth will grow strangely dim.....

.....in the light of his glory and grace.

Amen??

Why do we put so much hope in the things of this world?? Today the one that made an impression on me was the vanity of women. My goodness. Everyone at my church is dressed to the nines.....people hardly wear an outfit more then once......looking perfect is a good enough reason to be late to church.....what the heck?!?! There's something wrong with that.


It's not that I don't understand....I do. In and of myself, I'm in that race with everyone else. Who has the best hair? Who looks the cutest? Does she have the same shirt as me? Blah, blah, puke, blah.

However, because it is no longer I that live, but CHRIST lives in me, looking great is close to the bottom of my list. Women are so deceived. Why do we sacrifice time with the Lord, our attitude with our husbands, children, roommates and friends....and our God given resources, just to have something that doesn't matter? The Lord made women beautiful....period. All the extra frills and frivolous charms are vanity.

I'm not trying to be self righteous....really. I'm just frustrated. Ladies, if you want to be treated like more then just a pretty face.....then act like it! I'm all for looking pretty, it just can't be your focus. Getting angry over what you're wearing to church is just stupid. Who cares? God doesn't. If I ever get the chance to be a leader in a church, that's going to be a big deal to me. I want the elders to wear the same outfits (because they've given everything else to those in need). I don't want the worship team wearing all designer clothing (because the money could be better spent reaching the lost here and abroad). I don't want the youth group to shun kids that are wearing the WalMart brand jeans (because Jesus died for them just as much as he died for the Abercrombie model clones)......I don't want to create an atmosphere in which you feel ashamed to go to church if you don't have the latest and greatest! Women we should build each other up in the Lord, not compete for some imaginary title of "best looking girl at church."

Shame on us for that.

"And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace."

Galations 1:10

Am I now seeking the approval of men? Or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ Jesus.

So, lately I have NOT been able to dance. At all. No, really, I've been terrible.....this is not false modesty.....I used to be able to dance much better then I have been dancing these last few weeks. Some of it is being out of shape, some is dancing with REALLY good dancers.....but a lot of it is the attitude of my heart.

I didn't realize it until yesterday, but there's been something ugly lurking in my heart and mind these past few weeks. I've been WAY too focused on the opinion of my teachers and peers (something I thought wouldn't happen to me, because I'm not focused on getting into the company). However, that's the truth. I was complaining to a friend about how bad I was, and how my talent for dance seemed to have left me.....she didn't respond the way I thought she would.

"Julie, why are you complaining?? Sounds to me like you're being refined. You always pray for the Lord to refine you, and now that he's doing it, you're complaining. The Lord is stretching you outside of what you are comfortable with, in order to make you rely on him. Are you learning humility? Selflessness? Are you learning to work for the LORD not for men?? Aren't those good things? WHY are you complaining??"

Mhhmm. Thanks for that.......tough love. I needed it, I really did. It was a hit to my pride and self indignation, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Especially because it was on the car ride to our first performance.

After that I spent some time in prayer...just pouring my heart out to the Lord and asking him to change me. I realized that I wanted people to see Jesus IN ME.....I wanted to glorify God with MY DANCING.....no. That's not how it works. I have to leave out the "me" part. I just want people to see Jesus......for God to be glorified, no matter what.

It's amazing what the Word, the Spirit, and a good friend can do for you. My attitude was transformed, almost instantly. My cares about other people, the teachers, the audience, my peers.....suddenly seemed ridiculous in the light of JESUS CHRIST, the son of the living God, and an opportunity to worship him with my whole body. The performance was awesome. I danced like a free woman. The chains of fear, doubt and discouragement were released....I felt like a different person.

Praise the Lord. Isn't that a cool testimony to HIM?? Isn't it amazing how he can change hearts (even stubborn ones!) God gets the glory. Amen?

Pictures

Hey all!

Nothing serious today! If you want some deep content, try the last two entries....I'm tired, and just thought I'd put up some pictures, mmk?? Oh, you may not recognize me, I got my hair cut.....and it's straight....so I'm the girl in the white, with jeans on and dark, straight hair.

These are from our trainee 2 outing to a lake in kosciusko:

*EDITED TO ADD*

Isn't this picture awesome?? Roxy and I on the tire swing.







We got lost.....two miles from our destination....

Hebrews

Hey all.

All summer....and the end of last year....I realized that I really didn't have a passion for the Word of God. I read it, I understood the basic meaning, I got excited about it sometimes, but I didn't crave it. That was my prayer for the past 6 months or so. "Lord, I want to have eyes that are open to your word, eyes that see all that promises and truths, and a heart that is soft and receptive to put them into practice."

I waited.

When I moved back here to Mississippi I really felt the need to have a consistent time of day for my prayer and reading of the Word. That's not a formula for success, but it really helps me (in case you didn't know, I'm a schedule person....I don't like to admit it, but I function better when I plan out what I need to do and when, it helps me to focus.) So anyway, I've been doing my devotions every morning when I get up (which for me is the best time for my brain to function.....pbj sandwich, Bible and coffee....I LOVE my mornings!!) and it's been SO amazing.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been studying the book of Hebrews. It may be my favorite book of the Bible. The Lord has answered my prayer, and has given me eyes that are open and a heart that is receptive to what he wants me to learn. I love that Hebrews explains WHY Jesus' blood takes away sin. Of course, I believe on faith, but Hebrews makes my faith so much more logical. It explains why Jesus is the ONLY one who can take a away sin. It is a logical step by step proof to the Jewish people on why the new covenant of Jesus blood is better then the old covenant of animal sacrifice.

Not only do I love how logical and sensible Hebrews is, I also am SO excited about how it's changed my perspective. I have a new found awe of what Jesus did for me on the cross. Worship is like a brand new experience, because I understand how special it is to come before the father BOLDLY, instead of being separated by my sin. I've always thought of Jesus as savior and Lord, but now he's showing me how he is also my high priest. This is one of my favorite verses: "Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Isn't that awesome?? Jesus doesn't give us grace when we need it just because he knows that we need it, he actually sympathizes and understands what it's like to be human. That puts a whole new spin on God's love for us!! He loves us SO MUCH that he become one of us so that he could understand first hand how we work. Jesus understands what it is to struggle (though he did it without sinning), and so when we struggle, he goes to God on our behalf and brings us grace and mercy in our time of need!! How amazing is that?? No other religion has such an intimately involved God.

The Word is so exciting! I actually enjoy getting up in the mornings now, because I love spending the first part of my day learning about our great God.

The POWER of the Gospel

Dear Lukewarm Christian,

We all know that the gospel of Jesus Christ has power. How many of us believe that? Not many. How many of us are a testimony of that? Even fewer.

As Christians, we are to be devoted to the "ministry of the Word." (Acts 6:4) Do you know what that means?? A pastor or minister is more or less, a servant of his church. The Greek word used in that text is diakonos....which means, "to wait upon" or to "serve".....a waitress or waiter. I'm a waitress, so to me that is a very clear picture of how we should live. When the Bible talks about the "ministry of the Word" it is talking about the "serving of the Word."

Picture this: you are the server.....the Bible is the customer. The Bible is sitting at the table, telling you what it wants from you....this is your response, "sorry, I'm fresh out of obedience today.....no sir, we don't serve mercy at this church.....ummm, I can talk to the pastor, but I'm afraid that the use of the word "hell" in sermons is considered unkind, and unsafe for the general public.....well, I'd like to give you what you want, but you're asking too much, can you order something else??

Are you serious?? Would you really say that to a customer? Of course not! You'd say, "Fruit of the Spirit? Coming right up sir. With a side of repentance? Why certainly, I'll get right on my knees. And for dessert, you'd like some missionary work in India, which requires me selling all that I own? It'd be my pleasure."


If the Bible is real, why don't you live it out? It says to give away all that you have, so why are you still hoarding away money for retirement? Where in the Bible does it say to pay all your bills before you tithe, before you give to those that have even less?? The Bible says not to let "ANY unwholesome talk come out of your mouths," so why do you gossip and call it a prayer request. The Bible says to only think on things that are true (you're not allowed to believe the lies of the enemy), lovely, noble, excellent (the excludes a lot of media), admirable (excludes even more media) and praiseworthy (no self-condemnation)....so why are you depressed watching pointless television?

Loved ones, when people look at your life it should be like reading a book......the Bible. The unsaved at work should feel like they've just read the New Testament when they look at your life. There should be miracles, the power of God, faith, unconditional, perfect love, you should be COMPLETELY different

If God is the Creator, then why are you still telling him what to do? Why are you still giving him conditions on how far you are willing to follow him? You are created for HIS purpose, so why do so many other things in your life come before him??

If Jesus is real, if he REALLY is the son of God, why are you living in the world?? Why are you spending your time on sin and frivolous pursuits? Do you know that he has set you free?!?! His blood paid for your sin. Your debt was PAID IN FULL, yet you return to your sin over and over and over. Why don't you tell more people about Him? He has given you EVERYTHING, yet you are still ashamed to mention his name in the presence of those that need him most, your unsaved friends.

Do you know who you are? If you profess to know Christ, you are his AMBASSADOR. "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:20-21 What is an ambassador?? "a diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government or sovereign as the resident representative of his or her own government or sovereign or appointed for a special and often temporary diplomatic assignment." Do you see what this says?? We are assigned by God (the king of a sovereign nation) on a temporary diplomatic assignment (sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ until he takes us home) to a foreign nation (this world). Now, look back at the passage in 2 Corinthians 5. That says that in order to be a good ambassador, we must be reconciled to God (REPENT!!!) An ambassador doesn't give his own opinions, right? He only says what he has been told to say by the one in authority. So, you CANNOT just say whatever you want to the people of this world. You need to be reconciled to God so that your actions display only him, not yourself. I mean, you are appointed as God's righteousness, that's amazing! He took our sin, so that we could be his ambassadors, his righteousness to the world.

Too hard you say? Too much work?? Too radical?? Shut up. Get behind me Satan. Don't you think the cross was hard? I mean really, we have been given a gift!! Jesus Christ, the son of the LIVING GOD, has freed us from sin! Do you really want to tell me that abstaining from a few petty, sinful pleasures, and giving away a bit of time from your life (which is meaningless without him anyway) is too hard a task? Come on now.

By the way, I'm not writing this to you, I'm writing it to me.

Love,
Julie.

Endless Song

Hey all!

It's been a while......sorry!

Life is really good here. I'll write more when I have time. Right now I'm off to work! I'm working at Chili's in Madison w/roommate Danielle. It's really wonderful!

So many things to say, so little time. For now, here are the lyrics to my new favorite song. These words basically sum up how I've been feeling. Praise Jesus. Hallelujah! He is SO worthy of my praise. He is perfect, faithful and true.

Endless Song- Shannon Wexelberg:

Here's my life
It is not my own
Such a debt I owe
For I have been ransomed

What a price
You have paid for me
For my liberty
Freedom is my anthem

Let me not forget your sacrifice
Everyday recount the ways you've changed my life!

Let my heart sing an endless song
And let it rise from a child forgiven
Let my life tell the story of
Your redeeming love
Jesus, Lamb of God
Such amazing love

Here's my heart
It belongs to you
Let my gratitude
Overflow in praises

What a joy
Savior and friend
Love that never ends
The one who is unfailing

Let me not forget your sacrifice
Everyday recount the ways you've changed my life!

Let my heart sing an endless song
And let it rise from a child forgiven
Let my life tell the story of
Your redeeming love
Jesus, Lamb of God
Such amazing love

A New Start

I'm in Mississippi!

Wow. These last few days have been a rush......of everything, time emotions, prayers, conversations, there's been a lot going on.

In a lot of ways I'm really excited about this next year. There are some obvious dampers.....I MISS my loved ones back home....but the silver lining is that we won't be apart forever, and we serve the same God who will bring us through this often difficult time of life. However, by God's grace, that sadness is not going to be allowed to outshine the joy I have and the peace that has been granted to me by my precious Father.

It's a new year. A new start. A new beginning.

Last year I tried far to often to rely on myself.....and fell flat on my face.

This year I will have hard times, but God's grace will more then cover that.....and I will draw strength from him.

Last year I lived in fear.

This year I know that the Word is clear that "perfect love casts out fear."

Last year I was self-focused.

This year, by his power, I have more love, more joy and more grace to give away to those around me.

Last year I couldn't wait to go home.....so much so that it made me miserable while I was here.

This year, because I know that "He works all things for good for those who love him", I can't wait to go home! But I am content and enjoying the present.

Last year God was INCREDIBLY faithful, and I still ran from him.....

This year, I'll do the same thing more then once, but I'm trusting that the Holy Spirit will be even more evident in me as I see the error of my ways and run back to Him.

The Lord is good. His plan is perfect. His peace is incomprehensible. His joy is unspeakable. His love is never ending. His grace is always available. His hand is always on us. For that reason, this will be a good year.....because I serve a good God. It really is that simple. Hallelujah!

I love you all. May you rest in the peace of our Savior.

It is Well...

A new year. A new start. More to learn. New challenges to face. Old problems to work on. Hallelujah, my life is hidden in Christ, and I have NO reason to fear!

Wow you guys, I can't believe summer is over. I dropped Jeremy off at Moody yesterday, and leave for Mississippi in a little over 48 hours. Summer is officially over.


A week ago, my heart was about to break......a couple days ago I was scared and afraid of leaving all my loved ones......but not today...his mercies are new EVERY morning! God gives grace, and He has given me a lot today!

I can't even express how I feel right now. I'm excited, joyful, peaceful, content....just SO thrilled to be going where God wants me. He has turned my mourning into dancing.....and I can't explain it! All my fears and doubt are washed away. Don't worry, I'm not delusional. I know that there WILL be hard times, and that I WILL want to give up more then once, but I know that the Lord IS faithful, and he is doing what is best.

Now I have a choice. When things get rough, when I'm scared or nervous, depressed or lonely, angry or frustrated, I have a choice. I can cling to Jesus, I can continue to believe in his promises, or I can fall back into fear. I have a feeling that consistent time alone with the Lord is the key to keeping my mind where it is right now. I have got to fix my thoughts on the author and perfecter of my faith.


The reason I want to tell you guys this is to give testimony to the goodness of the Lord, and power of prayer. I've wanted to have this outlook all summer, I've been praying for it (as have others)....I've wanted to be peaceful about going back, I've wanted to be excited, I've wanted my heart to change from apprehensive to excited.....and praise the Lord, it has!


All in all, "it is well with my soul." Because "perfect love casts out fear." Amen?

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

Hymns are so amazing. This is a new personal favorite. It's basically the prayer of my heart:

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

I am weak, but Thou art strong,
Jesus, keep me from all wrong,
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

When my feeble life is o’er,
Time for me will be no more,
Guide me gently, safely o’er
To Thy kingdom, dear Lord, to Thy shore.

Pretending

Hey all.

I'm not in the mood for chit chat.....so I'll just jump into what I've been thinking today. Bear with me, this is long, but hopefully worth it!

Have you ever played make-believe?? Have you ever put on a front?? Have you ever been in a play? Have you ever wanted to be someone else? For the most part, pretending is a thing for children....and the young at heart.....Most adults don't run around playing cowboys and indians, they have a different kind of make believe. They pretend to be someone they're not. They buy more then they can afford to seem richer, they do more then they have time for so that they seem busy or popular....these are the negative aspects that come to mind when I think about "pretending" or "putting on a face"....

However, pretending, or imitating if you will, is not always something to avoid. I was reading Mere Christianity today, and C.S. Lewis said something that I found very interesting.

"May I once again start by putting two pictures, or two stories rather,
into your minds? One is the story you have all read called Beauty and the
Beast. The girl, you remember, had to marry a monster for some reason. And
she did. She kissed it as if it were a man. And then, much to her relief, it
really turned into a man and all went well. The other story is about someone
who had to wear a mask; a mask which made him look much nicer than he really
was. He had to wear it for year. And when he took it off he found his own
face had grown to fit it. He was now really beautiful. What had begun as
disguise had become a reality. I think both these stories may (in a fanciful
way, of course) help to illustrate what I have to say in this chapter."

"....Lord's Prayer. Its very first words are Our Father. Do you now see what those words mean? They mean quite frankly, that you are putting yourself in the place of
a son of God. To put it bluntly, you are dressing up as Christ. If you like,
you are pretending. Because, of course, the moment you realise what the
words mean, you realise that you are not a son of God. You are not being
like The Son of God, whose will and interests are at one with those of the
Father: you are a bundle of self-centred fears, hopes, greeds, jealousies,
and self-conceit, all doomed to death. So that, in a way, this dressing up
as Christ is a piece of outrageous cheek. But the odd thing is that He has
ordered us to do it."

"there is also a good kind, where the pretence leads up to the real thing.
When you are not feeling particularly friendly but know you ought to be, the
best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave
as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. And in a few minutes,
as we have all noticed, you will be really feeling friendlier than you were.
Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as
if you had it already."

" You see what is happening. The Christ Himself, the Son of God who is
man (just like you) and God (just like His Father) is actually at your side
and is already at that moment beginning to turn your pretence into a
reality. This is not merely a fancy way of saying that your conscience is
telling you what to do. If you simply ask your conscience, you get one
result: if you remember that you are dressing up as Christ, you get a
different one. There are lots of things which your conscience might not call
definitely wrong (specially things in your mind) but which you will see at
once you cannot go on doing if you are seriously trying to be like Christ.
For you are no longer thinking simply about right and wrong; you are trying
to catch the good infection from a Person. It is more like painting a
portrait than like obeying a set of rules. And the odd thing is that while
in one way it is much harder than keeping rules, in another way it is far
easier."


So, I read that....and I began to think about what the Bible has to say on the subject. Paul is a BIG advocate of "pretending"....he tells us in several of his letters to "imitate me as I imitate Christ" or "you became imitators of us and of the Lord" and "you became imitators of the churches of Jesus Christ...."

Do you see why this is good? I think what Paul and Lewis are trying to say is that we should not try to retain ourselves while follow a set of rules. I should not be trying to become "the sanctified version of myself" but rather "a completely new person that is exactly like Christ." I need to think like, act like, react like and imitate Jesus. It takes Christianity a step further then just rules, it's a whole transformation of me as a person. It's about changing my mindset and my core being as much as it is about the list of "do nots".....

Hurray!!

Hey all!

Quick update: summer is wonderful.

More importantly....Francis Chan has a blogspot!! Did you guys know that??? I'm pretty excited. Check it out!

http://francischansblog.blogspot.com/

Some thoughts

Hey all.

It's summer, and I'm sorry, but I haven't been super motivated to put anything up on here.......

Life is really good here, I'm thoroughly enjoying being with my family! It's also been wonderful to spend time with Jeremy and his family (we've been dating for just about one year now....isn't that amazing? Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a long time....and it's awesome to look back on how the Lord has changed and grown us since then.) Anyway, I started working a little, and will have a little more to do (I'm teaching ballet) starting next week. So for now it's just been a lot of fun, relaxation and I've gotten to read!! I haven't read a book (other than my Bible) in a while. I'm in the midst of Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan) and Crazy Love (Francis Chan), they're both excellent.

So, I got to talk to Rick (my youth pastor in high school) the other day, and his words really impacted me. "Julie, you're talented, and mature, you've reached a place in your life that most people don't get to until they're older. In light of that, there are two choices, either you are great, or God is great." Then, while I was reading Crazy love, Francis said something similar. "God is the main character in the movie, you're an extra with a two-fifths of a second scene.....you have to live like the story is about Him, because it is."

Isn't that a novel thought? My life is not about me. I know that seems like it should be obvious, and it is, but I don't live like it. My plans are so often based on what I want/need/think/feel, and I think of myself as the main character of my life. It shouldn't be that way.

So, as I've been praying, the Lord has given me this to pray, "Lord, may I become small in my own eyes, so that I can see more of you."

I want to decrease......I want to be small so that HE can be glorified and exalted.

Tagged!

Liz got me.....I've been tagged with a "blogger game." Here it goes:

The rules: Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What were you doing ten years ago?
Well, ten years ago (at the tender age of eight) I was in the third grade, and I lived in Albion, Michigan. I could usually be found doing school, ballet, climbing trees, trying to fly, inventing "roller coasters" out of the playhouse and ropes, running, building things out of sticks and stones, daydreaming.

What are five non-work related items on my to-do list today?
Read some C.S. Lewis (the Problem with Pain)
Call the gang to set up our weekly girls night in
Spend quality time with at least one sibling
Clean house
Watch dance recital



Five snacks I enjoy:
Ice Cream
Chocolate
Chips & Salsa
Fresh fruit
Graham Crackers and chocolate icing

Five things I'd do if I were a billionaire:
Tithe 10% to my church(es)
Buy some children from overseas (there are places where boys cost $2 and girls cost $1)
Build a house and provide food, schooling, ect. for the children
Travel the world (preferably in a hot air balloon)
Hand it out gradually over my lifetime to those that cross my path and are in need.


Places I've lived:
Ann Arbor, MI; Ypsilanti, MI; Albion, MI; Spring Arbor, MI; Ridgeland, MS.

Jobs I've had (in order of appearance):
Newspaper Courier
Baby-sitter
Ballet teacher
Coffee/bagel Shop worker

Graduation

My wonderful grandmother(Nana) is here for the week! She is a really special lady, and I absolutely love spending time with her. She loves the Lord SO much....she is an inspiration.

My beloved grandfather passed away about a year ago.......I miss him quite a bit. Like my grandmother, he also loved the Lord with all of his heart. As much as I miss him, I am overjoyed to see him in heaven.....and I can't wait to see all that the Lord has shown him in the new adventure he is on.

Nana and Angie and I were talking about death today, and what she said was so profound, I thought I'd share it with you all.

"You know girls, for Christians, death is really more of a graduation. The Lord gives us things to do on this earth, he gives us a job to do for the kingdom, and when he sees that you have accomplished the plan he set out for you, he chooses to take you home. Yes it is sad, but it's nothing to be afraid of....just like graduating high school, it's a little bit of a scary transition, and you miss your family, but there is an even better adventure then this one on the other side of graduation."

Isn't that a wonderful description? Yes it is a little scary, and you may miss your family, but it's just like graduation. For those that have life in Jesus, we are just moving on to a bigger and better adventure. Isn't that wonderful?? "'Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Amen.

Vision of You

Hey guys.

I've been pretty dry lately.....and I wasn't sure why....Jeremy and I had a good long talk about it yesterday, and he's been feeling the same way. He wrote about it, so read that if you want the whole story.

Anyway, this song pretty much sums up the cry of our hearts, what we want to see happen in our lives......what we know will happen if we will just stop striving, and truly surrender.


Vision of You
by Shane Barnard

Come meet us, King Jesus.
Oh wind of change blow through this temple.
Sweet spirit of God, come and mend our hearts.
For all we have are songs. Unless you come.

Awaken what's inside of me.
Tune my heart to all You are in me.
Even though you're here, God come.
May the vision of You be the death of me.
and even though You've given everything.
Jesus come!

Come free us, King Jesus.
Its the only way that freedom is given.
From you and you alone in the work You've already done.
All we have are songs, unless You come.

Awaken what's inside of me.
Tune my heart to all You are in me.
Even though you're here, God come.
May the vision of You be the death of me.
and even though You've given everything.
Jesus come!

Here we are, Lord, in this place.
Crying out for Your embrace.
To hear Your voice more than songs.

Awaken what's inside of me.
Tune my heart to all You are in me.
Even though you're here, God come.
May the vision of You be the death of me.
and even though You've given everything.
Jesus come!

Reflections

Well y'all, I'm fixin' to come home......


My darling brother Daniel is flying in tomorrow afternoon....I'm so excited! He has been in England this past semester, and will have many stories to tell I'm sure. We have quite a bit to catch up on....which is good, because we have a 15 hour drive to make. I'm leaving Sunday morning and I'll get into Michigan late Sunday evening.

These past few days have been full of reflections on my first year away from home. In many ways, I'm the same.....I still have the same likes and dislikes, the same goals, the same dreams....but as a person, my heart has changed. My thoughts have changed, the way I look at life has changed. The pains and trials that will seem trivial in twenty years, but for now seem very real and difficult, have given me a new depth of perspective, a new understanding of love, a new grasp of patience, and a new level of trust in the Lord.The Lord has blessed me SO much. I can't even put into words how thankful I am. The people he has placed in my life, the situations he has brought me through, the changes he has brought about in my walk with him are incredible.

I have tasted and seen first hand that the Lord IS good. His mercies are NEVER failing. His love is EVERLASTING. He DOES hear the prayers of a righteous man. Those who hope in the Lord WILL renew their strength. He is able to do MUCH more then all we ask or imagine. Jehovah Jireh is MY provider. The things of the Lord ARE foolishness to those who are perishing, but we have the mind of Christ.

The Word of the Lord has been proved true in real life situations over and over and over. The Spirit of the Lord has been my constant companion this last year. I am in awe of the grace of the Lord upon my life. He deserves the glory.

Last performance!

We have our last performance tomorrow :-(

It's bitter sweet....for sure....I really love it here....but I'm excited for all that summer will be. Overall, I'm just really thankful. The Lord has blessed me beyond anything I could ever ask or imagine!

Here are some pictures of our last rehearsal....I'm in the bright blue...







See those feet? Those are mine...and they are looking forward to having three months off! ;-)

Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace??

I love these words by Shane and Shane, "An unfair deal on the part of Christ, he got my sin, I got eternal life."

A precious friend of mine was asking me what I believed....and we had a very good conversation. We were IMing, and my internet was being frustrating, so I just wrote her an email. Satan hated what I had to say. The whole internet not working was spiritual warfare, I have no doubt. Satan knows that she's in a battle, and that this battle is for her soul.

Anyway, she really made me think. Having to explain my views to someone who doesn't agree really put them in perspective. It really is all about Jesus' grace, not about what I have done/can do.

Here's what I wrote to her. She asked what I believed...and I also responded to a few questions like, "can't you have Jesus message of love and goodwill without the other stuff?" and "if that's true then Hitler could be in heaven."

"Okay, here's what I believe in a nutshell. Of course, there's more to it, but this is the essentials, k??


Sin was brought into God's perfect world when Adam and Eve chose to disobey. Because of their disobedience, sin entered the world, and it's consequence is death.

I was born into a world filled with pain, death and evil, just like you. As a baby the moment I chose to do something wrong (probably at just a few months old) I became stained with sin. As I got older, I got more and more stained as I did more bad things (lying, cheating, stealing, lusting, ect.) Even though I'm a pretty "good person" by the world's standards, even my small sins separate me from God. Like a white t-shirt with spaghetti sauce, I am stained beyond repair. None of the good deeds that I do can ever cover for my sin....I can not erase my bad deeds (big or small). However, Jesus came into the world and lived a perfect, sinless life, and because he loved me SO much, he took my sin and died for it. Jesus is "tide to go" and he is the only thing that takes the stain out of my white t-shirt. Nothing else works. He went to Hell, bearing your sin and mine, but because he was perfect, death(which is the consequence of sin) couldn't hold him down, so he came back to life! He rose from the dead.

Yes, Jesus preached love and goodwill, but that wasn't all. We can't just take part of his message, it's all or nothing. Just like any other leader (think Obama, Hillary, McCain...you can't take half of them, you either take their whole platform and you vote for them, or you don't). Jesus' main message was that he came to save us from our sins. Why do we need saving? Because the consequence of sin is death and death means Hell, eternal separation from God. Jesus came to spare us from that. It is for THAT reason that he preached love and goodwill (those are just the ways that we should act, they don't bring us salvation.) You can't take only half of his message.

Even Hitler could go to heaven. Isn't that amazing? Isn't it awesome to know that there is a God who would spare even Hitler from Hell? If Jesus' would forgive Hitler.....how much more can he forgive you and I? If Jesus' blood can wash away the HUGE spaghetti stains on Hitler's t-shirt, how much more can he wash away our sins?

It's not about what you do. It's not about living a good life. It's by the grace of Jesus Christ, a free gift that you cannot earn, that we are forgiven and given the chance to live in Heaven forever with God."


Wow. Thank you Lord. I learned a lot in that conversation. I'm learning more and more how UTTERLY helpless I am, and how completely powerful HE is. His grace covers me, I CAN't earn his salvation, love, approval or blessing! All that I have is by grace and his love for me, I don't deserve ANY of it. Amazing! The gospel is that much sweeter when put in those terms.

"An unfair deal on the part of Christ, he got my sin, I got eternal life."

Surrender

So, I was thinking about the "stale state" of my Christianity....and I think these guys put into words what I've been beginning to realize.

"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above." -Robert Robinson

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." -Peter the Apostle

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Jesus


"You can't do it. We can't draw closer to God by trying harder. "Pull it together" by letting it go...into the hands of God."-Jeremy

"Jeremy took the words right out of my mouth ... what he said ... and what He said."-Daddy


Thanks for the counsel. I am blessed to have wise men in my life.

I rely too much on my own ability to love the Lord....but it's His love that I need in order to love Him...you know? I have to surrender.

I LOVE being independent....I LOVE doing things on my own....it's partly my personality, and partly how I was raised. It can be a good thing, but in this situation it's not. I'm like the two year old trying to tie her own shoes. "I can do it myself Daddy!" But I can't. My shoes are on the wrong feet.....and the laces are dragging in the dirt.....I need His help.

So, I guess the task ahead is kind of a paradox. I must allow myself to be bound to Christ, and I have to let HIM be the one to do it. All my own striving won't work, only Jesus, only his mercy and grace will change me.

Stale

Can your Christianity become stale?? Has mine become such? Am I the salt that has lost it's saltiness? Sometimes I wonder. I have to be honest. As much as I would love to tell you that I am passionate about Jesus all the time, it's not always the case. This is not a "I'm beating myself over the head" entry, I just want to be real about what's going on.

It's not that anything is wrong, I'm not going through any hardships, I'm just stale. Is being "tired" or "busy" a good excuse....? I don't really think so. My prayers seem hollow....the Word seems dry.....Christianity is not a feeling....I know that....but what is the deal with this dry spot? The things that used to draw me to the Lord seem common place. My awe of the cross, my wonder at his goodness, my thankful heart, where is that? Where is the girl in love? Why is she replaced by a tired, stressed out woman who would rather kneel during worship then dance....not because she is broken, but simply because her feet hurt??

Have you ever sat down to pray, and so many thoughts are swirling in your head that the prayer becomes a to do list....and becomes frustrating rather then sweet, intimate time with Jesus?

Since when was it okay with me that Jesus is on a list, rather then in my heart?

In the words of Mr. Yuri, "Come on girl, pull it together." He was talking dance, but that's not the only area those words hit.

Psalm 42 is my prayer.

"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
................................
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God."

I need Jesus to give me the strength to overcome. My heart's desire IS to serve him, and I need to live like that is the case.

"Come on girl, pull it together."

Two kinds of Christianity

Sorry it's been so long......I have had a thought forming in my mind for months now....and I've thought about it alot this week....so I had to finish thinking before I could write. Hopefully it makes sense....



There are not two kinds of Christians.......there are not different ways to live out your faith.....there are, in fact, two religions by the same name. We are NOT two different parts of the same religion. These two religions are radically different. One leads to life, the other to death. One is absolute truth, the other is the worst kind of deceit. Each group has its following. One walks the wide road, the other the narrow. Both do good works......both try to live good lives....both believe in heaven....but only one believes in hell. They both believe in Jesus....but they don't believe in the same one. This is not a new idea...it's talked about throughout the Bible....goats and sheep....wheat and chaff....they both dwell together, but only one group knows the truth.

Yes, there are two different religions. One is very evil, the other is pure good. It is hard to separate the two, they look very similar on the outside...but the shepherd knows his sheep, and the goats cannot fool him.

The kind of Christianity that is applauded by the world is the kind that is tolerant, open minded, updated, trendy, safe, it brings no controversy, it holds up no standard, it argues nothing, and to them, the Bible is a "good book." Don't be fooled, dear friends, they are trapped in the worst kind of hypocrisy. They claim to be more relevant, they claim to be more "forward" but what they are is deceived. Their doctrine claims that if you say, "the prayer" that you are now guaranteed heaven. That's a nice thought, but it fails to ring true. A prayer without repentance, without a true change of heart just hits the ceiling and falls back to earth....heaven knows it not. These Christians live the comfortable American life....they indulge in every sort of evil that the heathens do....without remorse they rest on the assurance that the "prayer" said in 3rd grade Sunday School will somehow magically save them from death and hell. They believe that they are their own standard, they believe that they can judge right and wrong for themselves. They do not believe the words of the Bible, after all, they're twenty one, or forty five, or sixty.....they must certainly know more then a book that has withstood two thousand years of controversy. The prophet Jeremiah hears from the Lord on this very subject, "This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you;
they fill you with false hopes.
They speak visions from their own minds,
not from the mouth of the LORD.

They keep saying to those who despise me,
'The LORD says: You will have peace.'
And to all who follow the stubbornness of their hearts
they say, 'No harm will come to you.'

But which of them has stood in the council of the LORD
to see or to hear his word?
Who has listened and heard his word?
Jeremiah 23:16-18

The leaders of this cult promise false peace and security. They claim their destination to be heaven while sitting on a bus to hell.

This is the worst kind of religion. One that is so close to the original that it is hard to see a difference....but there is.....there is.

A real follower of Christ is that prays often....not just once. Those that are going to heaven are those that believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and savior....and because of that powerful realization their lives are COMPLETELY revolutionized. This Christianity is loving, but firm. It holds up the Word of the Lord as a standard, it does not back down from tough issues, it does not gloss over sin but slashes it out of existence. These are the people that preach about HELL and SIN, not to bring fear, but because that is the REALITY of humanity. They have no king but Yeshua. These people are the ones that live and die for the name of Jesus Christ, the son of God, and they know him personally. These are the people that don't just surrender, but abandon their lives to the cause for which they have been assigned. They hold no fear of death or hell, or poverty or disease, or hunger or hurt....they are few and far between. They know the real pain of their sin, and the real joy of their salvation.

Don't be deceived. There will come a day when we will stand before the Lord, and he will know his own. You cannot fool him. Either you know him, or you don't, so be prepared.

Ummm...??

Okay, so I was flipping through youtube....and I typed in Ballet Magnificat....I clicked on the first video and I'm like, "oh wow, we just danced at this church not too long ago.....hey, that girl looks like me....oh wow....that is me....!"

It's not the best quality video, but you can see a little bit of our dance called "Freedom" by Jason Upton. I'm the girl that's in focus during the first shot, but after that you can't see where I'm at.

The Cross: Ultimate love or foolishness?

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

So many people.....so much to say.....so many are lost.....and I have the answer.....but most don't listen....their hearts are hard.

While I was in Chicago I met a man who I will never forget. His name was Michael.....he was playing the saxophone on the street corner.....I stopped to sing with him (it was an amazing thing to add the sound of my instrument to his, as both drifted into time and soon were lost in the faces, cars, buildings and waining light of the Chicago sky line.)

After a pleasant round of "My favorite things".....I asked him a question:

"Do you know Jesus?"

"Of course I do sweetheart." He replied without hesitation.

I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed, I wanted to share Jesus with him. "Really? What is Jesus to you?"

"He's the universe....he's peace and all that is good. He was a good man who preached a good message and taught us how to redeem ourselves."

"That's not what the Bible says." I replied, "the Bible teaches that Jesus Christ died on a cross to pay for our sins, our wrong doings, because in and of ourselves we could never do enough good to cover for all the wrong we've done."


"Jesus Christ was a fool," he said, "if he died on that cross. No, that couldn't be it, he couldn't have done that, he wants us to redeem ourselves."

"How?"

"Through good works....if you kill a man, you must save one, if you steal, you must give back.....that's how you redeem yourself. Just look at the universe, buying and selling are the only ways to get anything. You can't get something for nothing. You must not believe in Jesus," he retorted, starting to get angry, "you believe in the Bible....you have your noes stuck in a book....you believe a lie....you've been decieved....you have no idea what you are talking about.....that's a nice fairy tale sweetheart, but it's not reality."

I melted on the inside. My heart broke. How could I explain my Jesus to this man? How do I explain the incredible love of Christ? All I could do was smile sweetly and all the sudden I heard myself ask him, "what is reality?"

"This is reality. You, me, Chicago, right now."

"Can you prove that?"

"No."

"Exactly, this is reality to you because it's what you've experienced. How can you tell me that what I've experienced is not reality, when you've never experienced it? You won't understand the reality of Jesus' love....a love that would drive him to do something foolish...like die on a cross for you and me...unless you see it in your own life. It takes a step of faith."

"Whatever....you're crazy.....that's not true...you probably read it in the Bible somewhere....peace girl, I'm done."

"Okay, thanks for talking to me, have a great evening."


The devil worshiper at Barnes and Noble.....Morris at work every morning....Johnny at the bus station.....and now Michael....all have one thing in common. They know of Jesus, but they don't believe in him. They believe in love, but they don't believe in redemption. They believe in the historical Jesus, but they don't believe in the Word. They believe that they have Jesus, but he MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IN THEIR LIVES.

No fairy tale ending....no amazing conversion....like many of the other people I've talked to about Jesus, he'll accept Jesus as a good man, but not as savior....the Bible is a good book....but not something to be taken too seriously.

These basic concepts are things that my life is built on. They are the core of who I am, and they are the motivation behind much of what I do. How do I convey who Jesus is and how he can change them? Street evangelism is a hard thing. I don't like it...but I also can't stand walking past someone who is headed to Hell....as if everything is okay.

I guess it's not really my job to get frustrated....this is the Lord's work...he will see it completed...all I can do is offer myself as an instrument.

Freedom

Do you see the battle? Can you hear the noise?
The blood of martyrs cries out to deaf ears,
The countryside turned into patchwork with the bodies of saints.
Cries of anguish tempered only by a whisper of hope,
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Are you still in bondage? Can you see the light?
Prison doors are unlocked, broken chains fall all around.
The ones who lurked in the shadows have come into the light,
All that they owe has been wiped clean.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Do you see the sin? Can you smell the poison?
The harlot has devoured many, her words are empty and vile.
Her victims left disillusioned, a bitter taste in their mouths,
Their disgrace has become the word of their testimony.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Are you weary of your burden? Can you taste defeat?
The fatherless are desolate, no one can take them in.
Broken and lifeless they fall without a sound,
With determination in their eyes they stand once more.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Do you know the one who saves? Can you feel his love?
The King of kings and Lord of lords is coming.
He will make all things new, in his presence there is peace.
Our hope is in that day, hold on 'til then, with
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Chi-town!!

I had a wonderful weekend. I was in Chicago with Jeremy and Kelley......and Anna Z. came for a few days too. Ballet Magnificat was at Moody this weekend as well. We got to see the Hiding Place (Deidre....my roommate....was in the show). I also got to go to church with Jeremy (which I loved!) and I went to classes....and chapel.....and met his friends.....it was pretty sweet. We even went out on our first dinner date! It was a lot of fun to get dressed up and go out.....but we both felt a little goofy....oh well.

I throughly enjoyed it!

Here's a few pictures.

I heart trainee life!

Trainee Party!! We had SO much fun....we all dressed up and watched "Enchanted"










Praise Him!

A few thoughts

Hey all.

The Lord has given me a choice this week. I feel lifeless and dead. However, his name is still to be praised. This passage from C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters is what I've been living. I didn't even realize it until last night. I was so focused on trying to get myself back to "feeling normal" that I completely over looked the fact that I am trying to live Christianity in my own strength.

Read this:

Whenever they [the humans] are attending to the Enemy Himself [God] we are defeated, but there are ways of preventing them from doing so. The simplest is to turn their gaze away from Him towards themselves. Keep them watching their own minds are trying to produce feelings there by the action of their own wills. When they meant to ask Him for charity, let them, instead, start trying to manufacture charitable feelings for themselves and not notice that this is what they are doing. When they meant to pray for courage, let them really be trying to feel brave. When they say they are praying for forgiveness, let them be trying to feel forgiven. Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feeling; and never let them suspect how much success or failure of that kind depends on whether they are well or ill, fresh or tired, at the moment.

Isn't that an incredible thought? How often do we chase a "feeling" or a "way of life" instead of running hard after the Lord? How we feel about things, our perspective on life may change from day to day, but he is constant. What am I chasing? What do I have my eyes set on?

Well....I probably won't write again for a while.....I'm heading off to Chicago tomorrow to see one of my two favorite guys! (The other is in his forties and lives in Michigan ;-)

Love you all.

-Julie

Revival

I need a revival.

Revive my heart, dear Jesus. Fill me with your Spirit once again. I know you live in me.....teach me to live like I know that. I don't want to just drift downstream. I want to swim against the current, press on toward the prize. Jesus, shine through me. Use me. Consume me. I need more of you Jesus.....I'm empty, I want you to fill me. Nothing in the world can satisfy me....only you.

Even these words are empty Jesus. I have nothing to say to you to convey my thoughts. My prayers are so shallow.


Even as I write I realize how self focused this is. Oh Jesus, revive me.

Just for fun

Hey guys!

I thought you might get a chuckle out of this.....I'm sure you've all heard/seen Twila Paris. Well, Ballet Magnificat apparently did a music video with her WAY back in the day. It's hilarious. I laughed so hard I almost died. It's SO different from what we do now.....but it's kind of cool.

The only thing I can't figure out....why is there a tree in the dining room??

The 3rd dancer is Ms. Cassandra (Trainee director), the last girl is Ms. Kathy (the founder/artistic director), the first guy is Mr. Yuri (Omega company director), and the last guy is Mr. John (company dancer).

Don't watch the whole thing (it's boring) but the first couple of minutes are really funny.



So...after that little piece of history.....here's a really cool video of Omega doing "Hiding Place"

Humbled

I am humbled by how the Lord works.

Today was a long day. We had ballet off, so I worked a long shift at work. While I was there, a girl that rarely works with me walked in the door.....my heart sunk. The last time we worked together, I got frustrated with her and subsequently spouted off to the cooks.....was I justified? Probably. Was I right in God's eyes? Nope. So, as soon as she walked in, I knew I had to apologize. I had made our issue public (by talking to our cooks about it) and so I had to make the apology public too (something my mom taught me.)

Apologizing publicly, especially when I think I'm right, is not an easy thing. Anyway, I talked to her about it, and made it clear that I was out of line. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I don't want anything to mar my witness for Christ.

After that it was like a switch had been flipped....we talked the whole day.....a wall that had been put up suddenly toppled over. This girl, who I used to tolerate at best, has started to open up to me. Praise the Lord. How am I supposed to share Jesus if I act like a self righteous hypocrite? Thankfully, God gives second chances, and I am now in the position to really get to know this girl, and share Jesus with her.

I'm not saying this so you guys can give me a pat on the back. I just want it to be a testimony as to how God's ways are always better. The world wants to see a difference in our actions.....if we respond in a godly manner, especially when we mess up, they can tell.