Galations 1:10

Am I now seeking the approval of men? Or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ Jesus.

So, lately I have NOT been able to dance. At all. No, really, I've been terrible.....this is not false modesty.....I used to be able to dance much better then I have been dancing these last few weeks. Some of it is being out of shape, some is dancing with REALLY good dancers.....but a lot of it is the attitude of my heart.

I didn't realize it until yesterday, but there's been something ugly lurking in my heart and mind these past few weeks. I've been WAY too focused on the opinion of my teachers and peers (something I thought wouldn't happen to me, because I'm not focused on getting into the company). However, that's the truth. I was complaining to a friend about how bad I was, and how my talent for dance seemed to have left me.....she didn't respond the way I thought she would.

"Julie, why are you complaining?? Sounds to me like you're being refined. You always pray for the Lord to refine you, and now that he's doing it, you're complaining. The Lord is stretching you outside of what you are comfortable with, in order to make you rely on him. Are you learning humility? Selflessness? Are you learning to work for the LORD not for men?? Aren't those good things? WHY are you complaining??"

Mhhmm. Thanks for that.......tough love. I needed it, I really did. It was a hit to my pride and self indignation, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Especially because it was on the car ride to our first performance.

After that I spent some time in prayer...just pouring my heart out to the Lord and asking him to change me. I realized that I wanted people to see Jesus IN ME.....I wanted to glorify God with MY DANCING.....no. That's not how it works. I have to leave out the "me" part. I just want people to see Jesus......for God to be glorified, no matter what.

It's amazing what the Word, the Spirit, and a good friend can do for you. My attitude was transformed, almost instantly. My cares about other people, the teachers, the audience, my peers.....suddenly seemed ridiculous in the light of JESUS CHRIST, the son of the living God, and an opportunity to worship him with my whole body. The performance was awesome. I danced like a free woman. The chains of fear, doubt and discouragement were released....I felt like a different person.

Praise the Lord. Isn't that a cool testimony to HIM?? Isn't it amazing how he can change hearts (even stubborn ones!) God gets the glory. Amen?