Well, today was a VERY long day....but a really good day too. I worked 10 hours...which was long....but it was very good. I've really been getting to know the girls I work with, and I'm hoping that some good friendships will blossom there. None of them are Christians....which really excites me! I've gotten the chance to share about how the Lord is working in my life...and that Jesus is the reason that I am the way I am. A couple of people are especially impressed....my boss, and a girl named Tosha. Miss Anne (the boss) is just amazed at the fact that I never slack off at work. I guess I've never thought of slacking off as an option...yah know? I'm working for the Lord, not for men. I feel like I need to give my all to the restaurant while I'm working, instead of standing in the back smoking and drinking coffee (which is what many of the employees do). The other day I ran out of 'standard' jobs to do (it was a REALLY slow morning), so I decided to organize all the kitchen cabinets. My boss was amazed. She simply couldn't understand why I would do so much extra without expecting anything in return. I told her that I was working to honor the Lord by being a good employee to her, and she thought that was the coolest thing. Isn't that wonderful? Praise the Lord! I didn't do that in my own strength...it was all because of the Lord, and he is using my example to show my boss the kind of integrity that is found in those that love Christ. Tosha and I have had some good conversations too. She is the sweetest girl! She's 25 and has four kids....her first was born when she was 15....yet she still made it through high school and college...with three other kids that came during that time! Now, I don't agree AT ALL with her life choices...but I have to give her props for finishing school. Anyway, she's been trying to convince me that I should have kids (don't worry Dad, Mom....everyone else, I'm not about to take that advice). She thinks I'd be a great mom (which is a compliment, but I have a lot that I want to do before I even think about motherhood). It's funny how the girls at work view my life...they think I'm some anomaly that's too good to be true. Tosha said to me the other day, "girl, I wouldn't believe anyone else if they told me all that stuff...but something about you is different, you're for real." Can I get an amen??!?! At last! This is what Christianity is all about! Living a life that's SO dramatically different that people can't help but marvel. Please pray that I will continue to be a witness to Tosha, and Miss Anne, and everyone else. I would love to plant a seed for Jesus in their hearts! Maybe the Lord would even bless me with the opportunity to see them come to him....let's pray for that.
Thanks again for your prayers, phone calls, letters and loving support. You all are amazing.
-Julie
8/31/2007
8/30/2007
The enemy....
Sorry! I know, I know, I've messed up your daily routine....I didn't write yesterday...I apologize ;-)
So last night I went to church again!!! I LOVE church...I absolutely can't get enough of it. It's like every time I hear about a service (no matter where it is) I just can't resist. I've gone to church 3 days in a row now, and I'm sad because I haven't heard of a service for tonight! Maybe my roommates will be up to a little "creative worhsip".....
Yesterday I went back to the church that I went to the first Sunday I was here. At the time, I had said that the sermon was pretty confusing, and more like milk....not the solid food that I NEED. Well, I went back yesterday and LOVED it! The worship was incredible....it brought me to my knees....and the sermon was exactly what I needed to hear.
The pastor was preaching on the devil....yes, I just acknowledged him...he's real, he's powerful....and he hates us.
The basic idea of the sermon was this:
Satan doesn't care if you go to church...he doesn't care if you have christian friends...he doesn't care if you love Jesus....as long as you don't do any of those things with your whole heart. He wants us to be mediocre, because he knows he is stronger then a mediocre Christian. What he's afraid of, is when you and I, by the power of the Holy Spirit, become strong, secure, passionate Christians. When we start making a difference in the lives of others....that's when Satan starts to fear us. So what does he do when he sees us beginning to be effective? He tries to get us to be too busy for our prayer times, too tired for church, too stressed to smile at the people passing us on the street....he tries to make us focus on ANYTHING but Jesus.
The scriptures he talked about were SO helpful, I think I'll commit them to memory:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5:6-11
This scripture is really powerful, because it puts Satan into perspective. Yes, he's powerful, yes, he's dangerous, yes, he's a roaring lion.....but we have Jesus! His promise is that after we have suffered for a little while, he WILL restore us...make us strong...firm and steadfast. Can I get an amen? So yes, what I'm struggling with is real, I'm in a real fight against a real power...but the Lord promises to restore me and make me even stronger because of it. Isn't that awesome?!?!
Here's the other one:
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
I love this one because it's a step by step guide of what to do when Satan is attacking you. This is my little interpretation of that scripture:
#1 Submit. This HAS to be the first step, because if you try to fight Satan on your own, you'll be knocked flat...you have to submit the battle (and everything that caused it) to God.
#2 Resist. This is so key! We have to resist, we can't just let ourselves be trampled on. We must stand and fight. Yes, it's hard and it hurts sometimes....but the Lord promises that Satan will flee.
#3 Draw near. This so, so, so important! If you spend all your time fighting, and no time being refreshed in the presence of the Lord, you'll get tired, and you'll lose the battle.
#4 Repent. You're going to make mistakes in this process...so be sure to confess those to the Lord. Also make sure to confess anything that's making it easier for Satan to have a foot hold in your life.
#5 Pain. Battle is hard, and painful...it's okay to have battle wounds.
#6 Humility. When you win...or even while you're still fighting, remember it is not you, but the Lord who has the victory. Don't allow yourself to be taken down by pride (a very clever and favorite tactic of the enemy). Humble yourself....and He will lift you up.
Praise Jesus! He has the victory yesterday, today and forever!
-Julie
So last night I went to church again!!! I LOVE church...I absolutely can't get enough of it. It's like every time I hear about a service (no matter where it is) I just can't resist. I've gone to church 3 days in a row now, and I'm sad because I haven't heard of a service for tonight! Maybe my roommates will be up to a little "creative worhsip".....
Yesterday I went back to the church that I went to the first Sunday I was here. At the time, I had said that the sermon was pretty confusing, and more like milk....not the solid food that I NEED. Well, I went back yesterday and LOVED it! The worship was incredible....it brought me to my knees....and the sermon was exactly what I needed to hear.
The pastor was preaching on the devil....yes, I just acknowledged him...he's real, he's powerful....and he hates us.
The basic idea of the sermon was this:
Satan doesn't care if you go to church...he doesn't care if you have christian friends...he doesn't care if you love Jesus....as long as you don't do any of those things with your whole heart. He wants us to be mediocre, because he knows he is stronger then a mediocre Christian. What he's afraid of, is when you and I, by the power of the Holy Spirit, become strong, secure, passionate Christians. When we start making a difference in the lives of others....that's when Satan starts to fear us. So what does he do when he sees us beginning to be effective? He tries to get us to be too busy for our prayer times, too tired for church, too stressed to smile at the people passing us on the street....he tries to make us focus on ANYTHING but Jesus.
The scriptures he talked about were SO helpful, I think I'll commit them to memory:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5:6-11
This scripture is really powerful, because it puts Satan into perspective. Yes, he's powerful, yes, he's dangerous, yes, he's a roaring lion.....but we have Jesus! His promise is that after we have suffered for a little while, he WILL restore us...make us strong...firm and steadfast. Can I get an amen? So yes, what I'm struggling with is real, I'm in a real fight against a real power...but the Lord promises to restore me and make me even stronger because of it. Isn't that awesome?!?!
Here's the other one:
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
I love this one because it's a step by step guide of what to do when Satan is attacking you. This is my little interpretation of that scripture:
#1 Submit. This HAS to be the first step, because if you try to fight Satan on your own, you'll be knocked flat...you have to submit the battle (and everything that caused it) to God.
#2 Resist. This is so key! We have to resist, we can't just let ourselves be trampled on. We must stand and fight. Yes, it's hard and it hurts sometimes....but the Lord promises that Satan will flee.
#3 Draw near. This so, so, so important! If you spend all your time fighting, and no time being refreshed in the presence of the Lord, you'll get tired, and you'll lose the battle.
#4 Repent. You're going to make mistakes in this process...so be sure to confess those to the Lord. Also make sure to confess anything that's making it easier for Satan to have a foot hold in your life.
#5 Pain. Battle is hard, and painful...it's okay to have battle wounds.
#6 Humility. When you win...or even while you're still fighting, remember it is not you, but the Lord who has the victory. Don't allow yourself to be taken down by pride (a very clever and favorite tactic of the enemy). Humble yourself....and He will lift you up.
Praise Jesus! He has the victory yesterday, today and forever!
-Julie
8/28/2007
Church....pt. 3
Well, I went to a new church on Sunday....and again last night. It's called "Christway" and the people there refer to it as a "spirit filled church." Anyway, a week ago, I drove past this church a few times on my way to different events...each time, I felt the Lord telling me to go in...each time I was to afraid to go in(do you see a theme? Wouldn't you think that I'd just DO IT the first time? Good grief...but I'm prepared now, next time the Spirit calls, I'm going to do what he says the FIRST time...or at least, that's what I want to do.) Anyway, so I went in about a week ago, asked about service times, chatted with the worship pastor, and decided to go back this week. So, I went back, and it was very interesting.
This church is not AT ALL what I would think of as "my style."
I like contemporary christian music and hymns--they sing 80s and 90s praise choruses.
I like authoritative, yet soft spoken pastors--their pastor preaches the truth...and he is LOUD about it.
I like "normal" prayer--they have people speaking in tongues and being slain in the spirit at both services I went to.
I like having people my age at church--they have mostly older people, and young couples with small children.
Common sense says no...I shouldn't even consider this church...but yet I'm drawn to it. The Holy Spirit it undeniably there. The presence of the Lord is all that these people desire. The hearts of these saints are SO precious, and pure...it's obvious just by watching. I can raise my hands, jump around, dance....and there is without a doubt someone else doing something EVEN MORE expressive. It's amazing. I honestly don't know if this is "the one" for me, but it is an awesome place of worship. I'm probably going to keep looking, but I'm not scratching this one of the list....I don't even know why I like it, but I'm drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.
This church is not AT ALL what I would think of as "my style."
I like contemporary christian music and hymns--they sing 80s and 90s praise choruses.
I like authoritative, yet soft spoken pastors--their pastor preaches the truth...and he is LOUD about it.
I like "normal" prayer--they have people speaking in tongues and being slain in the spirit at both services I went to.
I like having people my age at church--they have mostly older people, and young couples with small children.
Common sense says no...I shouldn't even consider this church...but yet I'm drawn to it. The Holy Spirit it undeniably there. The presence of the Lord is all that these people desire. The hearts of these saints are SO precious, and pure...it's obvious just by watching. I can raise my hands, jump around, dance....and there is without a doubt someone else doing something EVEN MORE expressive. It's amazing. I honestly don't know if this is "the one" for me, but it is an awesome place of worship. I'm probably going to keep looking, but I'm not scratching this one of the list....I don't even know why I like it, but I'm drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.
8/27/2007
How can I keep from singing??
Have you guys heard the song, "How can I keep from singing" by Chris Tomlin? Well, if you haven't....listen to it...if you have, you'll know what I'm talking about.
Today was a tough day. There were problems at work (a girl quit, and so I'm taking on the rest of her shifts plus mine for the rest of the week....almost 50 hours of work....) and problems with a roommate....and my body is EXHAUSTED! Not to mention, I really want dance to start up...I'm stressed about getting into shape. So anyway, I came back a bit disillusioned and tired (and yes, grouchy) from work today...and probably would have stayed that way, had it not been for some wisdom from the Lord via my friend Jeremy (for those that don't know, to put it the way my mom says it, he's the guy I'm "seeing").
So one piece of advice that I thought about today...take it as it is. I was just thinking about how PERFECT life has been for you lately (maybe not perfect, but you get the idea). Like everything from how close God is, to how things are working out, it's just rolling smooth right now. First, treasure it. Enjoy the closeness of God. Second, fight for it. If your rhythm of life is similar to mine, in a couple of days the excited-ness of being close to God fades away, and with it the time spent with God. You can't control how you feel, but you can control how devoted you are to God. So what I'm saying is essentially this, you're really at a mountaintop right now...don't fall.
Good point, don't you think? Reality is beginning to settle in...I'm realizing how hard life is going to be....but at the same time, I have to fight to draw closer to the Lord. I can't let life, business, worries and doubt shut out the voice of my Savior, Jesus. I may not feel like praising him, but I don't have a choice, he deserves my praise and devotion no matter how I feel.
So Jesus...how can I keep from singing your praise?? How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love! How can I keep from shouting your name? I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing!
Again, thanks for all the prayers, support and love! It's so wonderful to know that everything I do is being prayed over by so many precious saints, both near and far. I love you guys!
-J (My official nickname here at B. Mag)
Today was a tough day. There were problems at work (a girl quit, and so I'm taking on the rest of her shifts plus mine for the rest of the week....almost 50 hours of work....) and problems with a roommate....and my body is EXHAUSTED! Not to mention, I really want dance to start up...I'm stressed about getting into shape. So anyway, I came back a bit disillusioned and tired (and yes, grouchy) from work today...and probably would have stayed that way, had it not been for some wisdom from the Lord via my friend Jeremy (for those that don't know, to put it the way my mom says it, he's the guy I'm "seeing").
So one piece of advice that I thought about today...take it as it is. I was just thinking about how PERFECT life has been for you lately (maybe not perfect, but you get the idea). Like everything from how close God is, to how things are working out, it's just rolling smooth right now. First, treasure it. Enjoy the closeness of God. Second, fight for it. If your rhythm of life is similar to mine, in a couple of days the excited-ness of being close to God fades away, and with it the time spent with God. You can't control how you feel, but you can control how devoted you are to God. So what I'm saying is essentially this, you're really at a mountaintop right now...don't fall.
Good point, don't you think? Reality is beginning to settle in...I'm realizing how hard life is going to be....but at the same time, I have to fight to draw closer to the Lord. I can't let life, business, worries and doubt shut out the voice of my Savior, Jesus. I may not feel like praising him, but I don't have a choice, he deserves my praise and devotion no matter how I feel.
So Jesus...how can I keep from singing your praise?? How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love! How can I keep from shouting your name? I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing!
Again, thanks for all the prayers, support and love! It's so wonderful to know that everything I do is being prayed over by so many precious saints, both near and far. I love you guys!
-J (My official nickname here at B. Mag)
8/26/2007
Christianiese
Guess what? I realized the other day that I am fluent in English, know a bit of Spanish....and have a complete mastery of Christianiese....or so I thought. What's that? Well, it's the language that most people who have been around church for a while speak. We use funny words like "repent" and "holy"....we use phrases that make no sense to anyone but us like, "I feel the presence of the Lord" and "I'm taking a step of faith."
Well, I may have had a complete mastery of mid-western Christianiese...but the southern dialect is totally different!
Today in Church I was completely confused when they said to look in your "fleaier" for today's "scripta readin'."
It was also strange to be refered to as "sister Julianna"....but also kind of nice. It made me feel very welcomed and loved (although, after being hugged by several well meaning ladies with a lot of perfume...I felt a bit ill).
The church I went to today was very pentecostal. I was a little nervous at first, but it was actually a very good service.
The worship was very good, not my favorite style of worship, but heartfelt...and I was blessed by it. The sermon was intense, but made sense and made me think. The people were friendly, and were of a wide variety of ages, races and genders. They had a prayer of healing in the middle of the service, and a man spoke in tongues (it was a blessing...he sounded like he was speaking either Hebrew or Aramaic). The pastor was not afraid to speak healing, but he also made it clear that the healing was from the Lord, not from himself.
Out of my list, this church met #1, #2, #4, #5 and #7...my interest is peaked, I think I'm going to go back again tomorrow (they have a special service with a man that has the gift of prophecy...I'll admit, I'm a bit scared/skeptical, but I don't want to limit the Spirit's work in my life because of my personal bias.)
We'll see how it goes! I'm sure I'll write about it on Tuesday.
Thank you all for your prayers, I can really feel the affects of them on both my mind and body. I really, really appreciate you all!
In Christ,
Julianna
Well, I may have had a complete mastery of mid-western Christianiese...but the southern dialect is totally different!
Today in Church I was completely confused when they said to look in your "fleaier" for today's "scripta readin'."
It was also strange to be refered to as "sister Julianna"....but also kind of nice. It made me feel very welcomed and loved (although, after being hugged by several well meaning ladies with a lot of perfume...I felt a bit ill).
The church I went to today was very pentecostal. I was a little nervous at first, but it was actually a very good service.
The worship was very good, not my favorite style of worship, but heartfelt...and I was blessed by it. The sermon was intense, but made sense and made me think. The people were friendly, and were of a wide variety of ages, races and genders. They had a prayer of healing in the middle of the service, and a man spoke in tongues (it was a blessing...he sounded like he was speaking either Hebrew or Aramaic). The pastor was not afraid to speak healing, but he also made it clear that the healing was from the Lord, not from himself.
Out of my list, this church met #1, #2, #4, #5 and #7...my interest is peaked, I think I'm going to go back again tomorrow (they have a special service with a man that has the gift of prophecy...I'll admit, I'm a bit scared/skeptical, but I don't want to limit the Spirit's work in my life because of my personal bias.)
We'll see how it goes! I'm sure I'll write about it on Tuesday.
Thank you all for your prayers, I can really feel the affects of them on both my mind and body. I really, really appreciate you all!
In Christ,
Julianna
8/25/2007
Amy Carmichael
Well, some of you know about my fascination with this amazing woman of God, but for those of you that don't, here's a little background.
"Amy Beatrice (a.k.a. Wilson) Carmichael (December 16, 1867–January 18, 1951) was a Protestant Christian missionary in India, who opened an orphanage and founded a mission in Dohnavur. She served in India for fifty-five years without furlough and authored many books about the missionary work there." -Wikipedia
That is a VERY short paragraph that doesn't nearly do justice to the amazing life that Amy lead, however, I'll leave it at that for the sake of time.
Anyway, because of how Amy Carmichael lived, she has always been one of my biggest heroes and role models. This summer, I read a book written by her entitled, "If".
One of the quotes that stood out to me is as follows:
"If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient or unkind word, then I know nothing of Calvary's love. For a cup full of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how sharply it is jolted."
Isn't that fascinating? I mean, how many of us have spoken with impatience or anger at someone who hurts us, interrupts us, or annoys us? I know I have. But look at what Amy is saying....we should be SO full of the love of Christ, that no matter what happens to anger/annoy us, all that should spill over is that love. What an amazing goal to set for oneself! To be so full of Christ that there is no possibility of anything else spilling over....
Jesus, that is my heart's desire...to be so full of you that there is room for nothing else. Please Lord, let everything else fall away...so that you are the only thing that remains.
-Julie
"Amy Beatrice (a.k.a. Wilson) Carmichael (December 16, 1867–January 18, 1951) was a Protestant Christian missionary in India, who opened an orphanage and founded a mission in Dohnavur. She served in India for fifty-five years without furlough and authored many books about the missionary work there." -Wikipedia
That is a VERY short paragraph that doesn't nearly do justice to the amazing life that Amy lead, however, I'll leave it at that for the sake of time.
Anyway, because of how Amy Carmichael lived, she has always been one of my biggest heroes and role models. This summer, I read a book written by her entitled, "If".
One of the quotes that stood out to me is as follows:
"If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient or unkind word, then I know nothing of Calvary's love. For a cup full of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how sharply it is jolted."
Isn't that fascinating? I mean, how many of us have spoken with impatience or anger at someone who hurts us, interrupts us, or annoys us? I know I have. But look at what Amy is saying....we should be SO full of the love of Christ, that no matter what happens to anger/annoy us, all that should spill over is that love. What an amazing goal to set for oneself! To be so full of Christ that there is no possibility of anything else spilling over....
Jesus, that is my heart's desire...to be so full of you that there is room for nothing else. Please Lord, let everything else fall away...so that you are the only thing that remains.
-Julie
8/24/2007
The Dream Life...
I'm so tired. This is hard. This is not the dream life. This is even harder then I thought it was going to be....and guess what? I haven't even started full time dance yet!
The Lord is good though, and he has given me every reason to trust him. Just today, one of the company members received a new car from the Lord. It was so amazing. Yesterday in devotions we prayed that she would get a new car (her old one broke down)...and today, a new one was waiting for her in the parking lot. A while back a similar thing happened to one of the other company members...she also received a thousand dollars after lifting up that request to the Lord. Now, I'm not saying that God is a vending machine, and that he just gives us whatever we want. However, when we have a real need, the Lord is not going to leave us empty handed. He is our father! He is our Savior! He loves us so much. He owns the entire world...and I think that he can't handle my little needs? Argh. My own lack of faith is just plain annoying sometimes....and as I start to doubt my savior, he always comes back with more proof of his love and faithfulness.
Thank you Jesus for your amazing, powerful, precious love. Thank you that you have everything under control...even when I'm tired...and grumpy...and in need of sleep.
It is a safe thing to trust Him who is faithful to fulfill the desires of your heart.
-Amy Carmichael
-Julie
P.S I really covet your prayers. This year is going to be, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I have ever done. Honestly, I'm scared to death. The only thing that keeps me from wanting to turn and run, is the knowledge that this is God's will for me right now....and there's no safer place to be then in the center of God's will.
The Lord is good though, and he has given me every reason to trust him. Just today, one of the company members received a new car from the Lord. It was so amazing. Yesterday in devotions we prayed that she would get a new car (her old one broke down)...and today, a new one was waiting for her in the parking lot. A while back a similar thing happened to one of the other company members...she also received a thousand dollars after lifting up that request to the Lord. Now, I'm not saying that God is a vending machine, and that he just gives us whatever we want. However, when we have a real need, the Lord is not going to leave us empty handed. He is our father! He is our Savior! He loves us so much. He owns the entire world...and I think that he can't handle my little needs? Argh. My own lack of faith is just plain annoying sometimes....and as I start to doubt my savior, he always comes back with more proof of his love and faithfulness.
Thank you Jesus for your amazing, powerful, precious love. Thank you that you have everything under control...even when I'm tired...and grumpy...and in need of sleep.
It is a safe thing to trust Him who is faithful to fulfill the desires of your heart.
-Amy Carmichael
-Julie
P.S I really covet your prayers. This year is going to be, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I have ever done. Honestly, I'm scared to death. The only thing that keeps me from wanting to turn and run, is the knowledge that this is God's will for me right now....and there's no safer place to be then in the center of God's will.
8/23/2007
Forgiveness
Today I'm just spending the afternoon with the Lord, reflecting on his forgiveness. I went to work from 6-12 today, and now that I'm home, I'm just spending some time thinking.
Have you guys heard the new single by Casting Crowns--East to West--??
It's the most beautiful song I think I've ever heard. It speaks of the amazing forgiveness of the Lord...and how amazing it is that he has cast our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. I can't get this song out of my head. Even more then that, I can't comprehend how incredible the Lord's forgiveness is. Every sin of deceit, every sin of disobedience, every sin of selfishness, every sin of lust, every sin of omission, every sin of pride, every sin with malicious intent....every sin of every kind....can be and is forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ.
As a "church kid" I often forget how powerful that forgiveness is. I think that if I had done some "really bad sins" then maybe forgiveness would mean more to me....and I'd be more thankful....but because I haven't, sometimes I guess I don't think of myself as in need of forgiveness. To most people, I seem like a good person.....but Jesus knows my sin....and even with that knowledge, he STILL chose to die for me. What an awesome gift! I often seem to forget how terrible my sin....any sin....really is. Somehow I justify my sin by saying, "well, it wasn't nearly as bad as what she/he did." But that is such a lie. My sin grieves Jesus just as much as anyone else's.
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8
That scripture is so amazing. The truth is, Jesus didn't die for a good person...he died for me....a disgusting, dirty, helpless sinner. And if that isn't enough, I take that gift for granted! How often do I find myself choosing sin over God? Too much. My selfish desires so easily choke out my desire to honor Jesus...but what have those selfish desires ever done for me? Nothing. Here's Jesus, who has given me everything, and I chose something else? What? It makes no sense.
Now you all are probably thinking that I must have done SOMETHING to prompt this thinking....and you're right, I have a whole life of sin behind me (and ahead of me) that needs forgiveness.
Under the amazing grace of Christ,
Julie
Have you guys heard the new single by Casting Crowns--East to West--??
It's the most beautiful song I think I've ever heard. It speaks of the amazing forgiveness of the Lord...and how amazing it is that he has cast our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. I can't get this song out of my head. Even more then that, I can't comprehend how incredible the Lord's forgiveness is. Every sin of deceit, every sin of disobedience, every sin of selfishness, every sin of lust, every sin of omission, every sin of pride, every sin with malicious intent....every sin of every kind....can be and is forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ.
As a "church kid" I often forget how powerful that forgiveness is. I think that if I had done some "really bad sins" then maybe forgiveness would mean more to me....and I'd be more thankful....but because I haven't, sometimes I guess I don't think of myself as in need of forgiveness. To most people, I seem like a good person.....but Jesus knows my sin....and even with that knowledge, he STILL chose to die for me. What an awesome gift! I often seem to forget how terrible my sin....any sin....really is. Somehow I justify my sin by saying, "well, it wasn't nearly as bad as what she/he did." But that is such a lie. My sin grieves Jesus just as much as anyone else's.
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8
That scripture is so amazing. The truth is, Jesus didn't die for a good person...he died for me....a disgusting, dirty, helpless sinner. And if that isn't enough, I take that gift for granted! How often do I find myself choosing sin over God? Too much. My selfish desires so easily choke out my desire to honor Jesus...but what have those selfish desires ever done for me? Nothing. Here's Jesus, who has given me everything, and I chose something else? What? It makes no sense.
Now you all are probably thinking that I must have done SOMETHING to prompt this thinking....and you're right, I have a whole life of sin behind me (and ahead of me) that needs forgiveness.
Under the amazing grace of Christ,
Julie
8/22/2007
Sore feet.....hurt hands.....happy heart.
This entry is just what the title says. Despite some very sore feet, and some hands that look more like ground beef then the dainty little things I used to have.....I am going to bed content, and full of joy. The Lord has surely blessed me.
Who am I to complain in the face of life's realities? Jesus walked this earth, Jesus went through these moments, and yet he still chose to endure.....even death on a cross....for my sake. There is no gift more amazing, no reason more compelling to live my life with excellence....and with joy.
Good night and God bless,
Julianna
Who am I to complain in the face of life's realities? Jesus walked this earth, Jesus went through these moments, and yet he still chose to endure.....even death on a cross....for my sake. There is no gift more amazing, no reason more compelling to live my life with excellence....and with joy.
Good night and God bless,
Julianna
8/21/2007
His mercies are new EVERY morning!
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.....I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength......And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:4-7;11-13;19
Our God is good. You know that? He is amazing.
So I have a fun story to tell you...Remember how I was supposed to start work yesterday? Well, I got there, and started filing out tax forms and everything, and the lady that was supervising me all the sudden got a funny look on her face and said, "Baby, are you only 17?"
"Yeahh..." I replied.
"Well sugar, I don't think we can hire anyone younger then 18...but let me check with the manager that hired you."
*A few minutes later*
The manager walks in, "You're 17?? Are you sure? You don't look like it, and you don't sound like it...are you sure?
"Umm...yes...I'm sure."
The manager calls in three more people, at which point they're all staring at me and exchanging glances.
"She's 17?"
"No way!"
"She sounds much older."
"Are you sure she's only 17?"
They inspect my paperwork, driver's license and application, "Oh my heavens," the manager said, "you are 17! Well, I am so sorry darlin', you don't look 17 and you don't act 17, so I didn't even look at your age on the application! I'm so sorry, but you can't work here until you turn 18....but baby, you're a rare find these days, and I hate to lose you, so please come back on your birthday!"
So with that, I headed out the door. I got to my car and began to think...hmmm...what am I going to do now? So, I called my darling mother and asked her to pray, then I ran home, threw on a skirt and some high heels, and headed off to apply for more jobs. I filled out 7 or 8 apps. and had several interviews that afternoon....and I even had three job offers...but they were all retail jobs. There's nothing wrong with retail, but they wanted me to be working during Thanksgiving and or Christmas....and there is no way that I'm doing that! On top of that, the jobs didn't have very flexible hours, and paid minimum wage ($5.85 in MS). So anyway, I decided to pray about the job offers, and decided to go home to think it over....
On my way home, I passed a little bagel shop and thought, "oh, maybe I should apply there." But to be honest, I was too tired and grumpy to fill out another application. I got a little ways passed the shops when the Lord said quietly, "go apply to that shop."
"No!" I replied (why in the world would I ever say that to the one who created the world? I am so stupid sometimes!) "I'm tired, and I'm grouchy, and I want to go home and relax....I'm sick of filling out apps.....I need a job...Lord, what are you doing? I know that you aren't going to leave me empty handed...."
"Go apply."
"Fine Lord, I'll do it..." I grumbled as I turned my little white Saturn around and trudged toward the shop. I walked in, asked for an application, and as I was filling out my name and number, the lady at the counter said, "hey, there's the manager, go talk to her." So I went over, introduced myself, and told her I was looking for a job.
"Really?" She said, eyes lighting up, "write down what hours you can work."
I wrote them down.
"Oh my goodness, those are exactly the hours I need covered! I've been looking for someone just like you! You're hired."
My mouth hit the floor. The Lord worked things out...again....no suprise, eh?
So this morning I went to work (at 5:45 in the morning!) and learned what to do. It's so much fun! I really enjoy it! I love my co-workers...and I'm getting paid more then minimum wage! It's such a blessing. Not to mention that I can have time off for the holidays....and any other time I go home.
God is good.
So anyway, I went to devotions at B. Mag after work (they have live music, prayer time and scripture reading EVERY day!). It was such a blessing. It was so refreshing to just spend time with the Lord in live worship! It's one thing to worship with a CD, but it's so awesome to have live music.
Anyway, I hope y'all have a good day!
-Julie
Our God is good. You know that? He is amazing.
So I have a fun story to tell you...Remember how I was supposed to start work yesterday? Well, I got there, and started filing out tax forms and everything, and the lady that was supervising me all the sudden got a funny look on her face and said, "Baby, are you only 17?"
"Yeahh..." I replied.
"Well sugar, I don't think we can hire anyone younger then 18...but let me check with the manager that hired you."
*A few minutes later*
The manager walks in, "You're 17?? Are you sure? You don't look like it, and you don't sound like it...are you sure?
"Umm...yes...I'm sure."
The manager calls in three more people, at which point they're all staring at me and exchanging glances.
"She's 17?"
"No way!"
"She sounds much older."
"Are you sure she's only 17?"
They inspect my paperwork, driver's license and application, "Oh my heavens," the manager said, "you are 17! Well, I am so sorry darlin', you don't look 17 and you don't act 17, so I didn't even look at your age on the application! I'm so sorry, but you can't work here until you turn 18....but baby, you're a rare find these days, and I hate to lose you, so please come back on your birthday!"
So with that, I headed out the door. I got to my car and began to think...hmmm...what am I going to do now? So, I called my darling mother and asked her to pray, then I ran home, threw on a skirt and some high heels, and headed off to apply for more jobs. I filled out 7 or 8 apps. and had several interviews that afternoon....and I even had three job offers...but they were all retail jobs. There's nothing wrong with retail, but they wanted me to be working during Thanksgiving and or Christmas....and there is no way that I'm doing that! On top of that, the jobs didn't have very flexible hours, and paid minimum wage ($5.85 in MS). So anyway, I decided to pray about the job offers, and decided to go home to think it over....
On my way home, I passed a little bagel shop and thought, "oh, maybe I should apply there." But to be honest, I was too tired and grumpy to fill out another application. I got a little ways passed the shops when the Lord said quietly, "go apply to that shop."
"No!" I replied (why in the world would I ever say that to the one who created the world? I am so stupid sometimes!) "I'm tired, and I'm grouchy, and I want to go home and relax....I'm sick of filling out apps.....I need a job...Lord, what are you doing? I know that you aren't going to leave me empty handed...."
"Go apply."
"Fine Lord, I'll do it..." I grumbled as I turned my little white Saturn around and trudged toward the shop. I walked in, asked for an application, and as I was filling out my name and number, the lady at the counter said, "hey, there's the manager, go talk to her." So I went over, introduced myself, and told her I was looking for a job.
"Really?" She said, eyes lighting up, "write down what hours you can work."
I wrote them down.
"Oh my goodness, those are exactly the hours I need covered! I've been looking for someone just like you! You're hired."
My mouth hit the floor. The Lord worked things out...again....no suprise, eh?
So this morning I went to work (at 5:45 in the morning!) and learned what to do. It's so much fun! I really enjoy it! I love my co-workers...and I'm getting paid more then minimum wage! It's such a blessing. Not to mention that I can have time off for the holidays....and any other time I go home.
God is good.
So anyway, I went to devotions at B. Mag after work (they have live music, prayer time and scripture reading EVERY day!). It was such a blessing. It was so refreshing to just spend time with the Lord in live worship! It's one thing to worship with a CD, but it's so awesome to have live music.
Anyway, I hope y'all have a good day!
-Julie
8/20/2007
Food
Well, we've been having a bit of a serious discussion for the last few days...so I thought I'd lighten the mood!
In response to numerous emails about what the food situation is like, I'd thought I'd throw some pictures on here to clarify.
So yes, I do have plenty of food. However, I am learning to be less picky. For instance, I've never been a huge fan of rice or pasta....but I am now! Both are fairly cheap, pretty good for you, and last a long time. I also eat off-brand soup, syrup, salad dressing ect. It's suprising how much you can save on little items.
I've also been informed by my roommates that you can make pancake mix last longer if you put in more water then the recipe calls for....sure they don't turn out tasting that great...but my off brand syrup should remedy that.
Anyway, this was a short one, but I'm headed off to work (I sound like an adult...) Today's my first day of training! I hope you all have an amazing day.
Much love,
Julie
In response to numerous emails about what the food situation is like, I'd thought I'd throw some pictures on here to clarify.
So yes, I do have plenty of food. However, I am learning to be less picky. For instance, I've never been a huge fan of rice or pasta....but I am now! Both are fairly cheap, pretty good for you, and last a long time. I also eat off-brand soup, syrup, salad dressing ect. It's suprising how much you can save on little items.
I've also been informed by my roommates that you can make pancake mix last longer if you put in more water then the recipe calls for....sure they don't turn out tasting that great...but my off brand syrup should remedy that.
Anyway, this was a short one, but I'm headed off to work (I sound like an adult...) Today's my first day of training! I hope you all have an amazing day.
Much love,
Julie
8/19/2007
Church Pt. 2
I just got back from church! My roommate Erin goes to a church called Pine Lake, and she invited me to go with her this week. It was very pleasant. The sermon was about repentance, and it was based off the passage of scripture in Matthew 3 when the Pharisees and Sadducees came to be baptized by John and were turned away. Just like the religious leaders that came to John, we can try to wash our sin off, or cover it up with "religious" actions and words, but if we never repent, then we can never truly walk away from our sin. These men thought that the act of being baptized would somehow bring them farther from sin, and closer to God. However, John points out that the Lord is looking for a change of heart, not a swim in a river, and that true repentance results in a changed life. (Matt 3:4-10).
The worship was okay. The songs they played were ones that I love, very contemporary! However, they only did 3 songs....which was not cool....I think that worship should be a bigger part of the service.
One thing I forgot to put on the list I made yesterday was #7-Ethnic variety-I would really like to go to a church that is a rainbow of color. The church I went to today was more like a cloud....very white...While that's not a bad thing, it's not what I'm looking for. I think that having many different cultures makes a church stronger, because each culture has a different strength. There is so much to be gained by worhsiping with brothers and sisters from different backgrounds.
Anyway, this church seemed to have #1, #3, #4 and #6, but not #2, #5 and #7, so it's 4 and 3.
(It feels funny to "rate" churches, but I'm not sure how else to decide which one to go to....of course prayer, but this seems like a good practical step.)
Church #1
4/3
Church #2
4/3
Hmmmm...I'm starting to see a trend (well, I've theorized about this trend, but it's interesting to see it in action.) It's almost impossible to find a Bible based church, with sound doctrine and good preaching that also has spirit filled worship, and uses the gifts of the Spirit. Something is wrong with that. Why do the Spirit and the Word seem to always be separated?? They're the same thing!!! The only difference is that one is written down, and the other is spoken. It's like the difference between a letter, and a phone call. They both have power, they're both valuable, they both teach us more about the Lord...they just have different approaches. The Lord gave us both so that we would have a more complete picture of who he is! Why don't we use them together instead of having to pick one as more valuable or more valid? Why try to limit God to one form of communication???
Unfortunately, we as christians have decided to split off into our own little cliques (yes cliques...denomination is just a nice name for them). We have the evangelicals, who think the Word/theology is most important, and the pentecostals who think that the leading of the Spirit/passion is most important. These two seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum....but maybe not......
What if we look at this under the old "opposites attract" rule of relationships? Let's say that the man is the evangelical (we'll call him Theology) and the woman is pentecostal (we'll call her Passion). Theology is very intellectual, he spends a lot of time thinking about the problems in the world, and comes up with ways to solve them....but he never takes any action. Passion is full of love and energy and she genuinely wants to help people too, but she has no idea where to start, so she runs around with good intentions but never really accomplishes anything. Well, the two meet, and begin to talk. They decide to start a relationship. A lot of people don't think it'll work out...they're just too different to be compatible. But as the relationship progresses, they realize that Theology's direction, combined with Passion's energy is the key to getting things done. It's a perfect match. One cannot succeed without the other.
See what I mean? The evangelical church and the pentecostal church are perfect for each other. They need each other to succeed. Sure they have their differences, but I think that if they tried to come together they'd see that they are the perfect match...armed with the Word and the Spirit they'd be unstoppable.
The worship was okay. The songs they played were ones that I love, very contemporary! However, they only did 3 songs....which was not cool....I think that worship should be a bigger part of the service.
One thing I forgot to put on the list I made yesterday was #7-Ethnic variety-I would really like to go to a church that is a rainbow of color. The church I went to today was more like a cloud....very white...While that's not a bad thing, it's not what I'm looking for. I think that having many different cultures makes a church stronger, because each culture has a different strength. There is so much to be gained by worhsiping with brothers and sisters from different backgrounds.
Anyway, this church seemed to have #1, #3, #4 and #6, but not #2, #5 and #7, so it's 4 and 3.
(It feels funny to "rate" churches, but I'm not sure how else to decide which one to go to....of course prayer, but this seems like a good practical step.)
Church #1
4/3
Church #2
4/3
Hmmmm...I'm starting to see a trend (well, I've theorized about this trend, but it's interesting to see it in action.) It's almost impossible to find a Bible based church, with sound doctrine and good preaching that also has spirit filled worship, and uses the gifts of the Spirit. Something is wrong with that. Why do the Spirit and the Word seem to always be separated?? They're the same thing!!! The only difference is that one is written down, and the other is spoken. It's like the difference between a letter, and a phone call. They both have power, they're both valuable, they both teach us more about the Lord...they just have different approaches. The Lord gave us both so that we would have a more complete picture of who he is! Why don't we use them together instead of having to pick one as more valuable or more valid? Why try to limit God to one form of communication???
Unfortunately, we as christians have decided to split off into our own little cliques (yes cliques...denomination is just a nice name for them). We have the evangelicals, who think the Word/theology is most important, and the pentecostals who think that the leading of the Spirit/passion is most important. These two seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum....but maybe not......
What if we look at this under the old "opposites attract" rule of relationships? Let's say that the man is the evangelical (we'll call him Theology) and the woman is pentecostal (we'll call her Passion). Theology is very intellectual, he spends a lot of time thinking about the problems in the world, and comes up with ways to solve them....but he never takes any action. Passion is full of love and energy and she genuinely wants to help people too, but she has no idea where to start, so she runs around with good intentions but never really accomplishes anything. Well, the two meet, and begin to talk. They decide to start a relationship. A lot of people don't think it'll work out...they're just too different to be compatible. But as the relationship progresses, they realize that Theology's direction, combined with Passion's energy is the key to getting things done. It's a perfect match. One cannot succeed without the other.
See what I mean? The evangelical church and the pentecostal church are perfect for each other. They need each other to succeed. Sure they have their differences, but I think that if they tried to come together they'd see that they are the perfect match...armed with the Word and the Spirit they'd be unstoppable.
8/18/2007
Church
I miss my church! One of the weirdest things about moving is going to church and not knowing anyone there. For as long as I can remember, church has been a stable, familiar part of my life. It's really strange to walk into a church and not know anyone....I'm really hoping that the Lord shows me where to go soon, because I really want to start getting involved. I want to help with the children's minister...maybe the music ministry...and I'd LOVE to go to a bible study. I know I'll be busy, but I think that those things are worth making time for. So anyway, with Sunday morning fast approaching, I thought I'd share my "church criteria" with you all.
This is the list I made to help me find a church. I'm looking for a church with these qualities...and once I find a few that meet my standards, I'm praying that the Lord will direct me to the right one.
#1 The church MUST be based on the Bible. The pastor and leaders must believe that the Bible is the unchanging word of the Lord. They must treat the Bible as the absolute authority on any issue. Also, the pastor must preach his sermons based on the Word, not on his own wisdom.
#2 The church must value worship. A good bible-based sermon is important, but it needs a good worship service to go with it. Corporate worship is SO important, and it should take up a bit of time in the service. I want the church to be full of people that can't stand still when they worship! Jumping, dancing, raising hands...those are all important expressions of worship, and should be exercised at the leading of the Spirit.
#3 The church must have a good governmental structure. A church with only a pastor, and no board or elders to keep him in check is asking for trouble.
#4 A good church should have a well-rounded mix of members. I would really like to see young children, teens, young adults, young parents, middle age people, empty-nesters, grandparents and even great grandparents all in the same service, worshiping together. The reason that is so important to me is that it signifies a growing and healthy church. Also, it gives me people to minister to (the young crowd) and people to be ministered to by (the older crowd).
#5 The church must believe in the gift, and use of the Holy Spirit. I honestly don't know a whole lot about the Holy Spirit and how he works....and I think I need to learn. Where else would I learn other then church? Sure some churches miss use the name of the Holy Spirit for personal gain, but there are people that use the power of the Spirit for the glory of Christ. I want to learn what that's all about.
#6 I want a church where I can plug in, and start giving back. I don't want to be a leech...I can't just go on Sunday mornings and call it good, I want to be a contributor!
Anyway, those are the things that I think are important in a church. So I guess I'll have to keep looking around until I find one. Last week I went to a church that meets #2, #4, #5 and #7 but not #1, #3 or #6. So its 4 and 3....The Lord could still call me there, and I'm still praying about it, so we'll see. This week I'm going to a "charismatic baptist church" with one of my roommates, so well see how it goes! I'm just looking forward to going to church...! The Catholics are onto something with having church everyday....that'd be SO amazing. Well, when B. Mag starts up for the season, we'll have chapel and bible study everyday, so that'll be awesome....and then I'll have church on Sunday, so if I can find somewhere to worship on Saturday, I'll be all set!
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and Sunday at all your churches! Love yah!
-Julie
This is the list I made to help me find a church. I'm looking for a church with these qualities...and once I find a few that meet my standards, I'm praying that the Lord will direct me to the right one.
#1 The church MUST be based on the Bible. The pastor and leaders must believe that the Bible is the unchanging word of the Lord. They must treat the Bible as the absolute authority on any issue. Also, the pastor must preach his sermons based on the Word, not on his own wisdom.
#2 The church must value worship. A good bible-based sermon is important, but it needs a good worship service to go with it. Corporate worship is SO important, and it should take up a bit of time in the service. I want the church to be full of people that can't stand still when they worship! Jumping, dancing, raising hands...those are all important expressions of worship, and should be exercised at the leading of the Spirit.
#3 The church must have a good governmental structure. A church with only a pastor, and no board or elders to keep him in check is asking for trouble.
#4 A good church should have a well-rounded mix of members. I would really like to see young children, teens, young adults, young parents, middle age people, empty-nesters, grandparents and even great grandparents all in the same service, worshiping together. The reason that is so important to me is that it signifies a growing and healthy church. Also, it gives me people to minister to (the young crowd) and people to be ministered to by (the older crowd).
#5 The church must believe in the gift, and use of the Holy Spirit. I honestly don't know a whole lot about the Holy Spirit and how he works....and I think I need to learn. Where else would I learn other then church? Sure some churches miss use the name of the Holy Spirit for personal gain, but there are people that use the power of the Spirit for the glory of Christ. I want to learn what that's all about.
#6 I want a church where I can plug in, and start giving back. I don't want to be a leech...I can't just go on Sunday mornings and call it good, I want to be a contributor!
Anyway, those are the things that I think are important in a church. So I guess I'll have to keep looking around until I find one. Last week I went to a church that meets #2, #4, #5 and #7 but not #1, #3 or #6. So its 4 and 3....The Lord could still call me there, and I'm still praying about it, so we'll see. This week I'm going to a "charismatic baptist church" with one of my roommates, so well see how it goes! I'm just looking forward to going to church...! The Catholics are onto something with having church everyday....that'd be SO amazing. Well, when B. Mag starts up for the season, we'll have chapel and bible study everyday, so that'll be awesome....and then I'll have church on Sunday, so if I can find somewhere to worship on Saturday, I'll be all set!
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and Sunday at all your churches! Love yah!
-Julie
8/17/2007
Going Home
I had such a wonderful morning. I got up, cleaned my room, organized my closet (I like to have my closet color coded....but it never stays that way), did some laundry, cooked breakfast....it was so much fun!
Anyway, onto something a little more interesting then my love of playing house.
Don't worry, I love it here, but I've discovered something very interesting. Being at Ballet Magnificat doesn't automatically make me happy. I know, I know, you were all waiting for me to figure that one out. It's not that anything has gone wrong, or that I'm having any problems...I've just realized that being here is not going to ever be fulfilling. Only Jesus is. All summer I was pretty much positive that once I got here, life would be perfect, I'd always be smiling, and I'd never have another problem. Well, that's not true. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being here....but it's not heaven. I know that sounds kind of obvious, but it was honestly a revelation. I didn't think that anything could be better then B. Mag. Now I'm realizing that I'm still in a broken world with sinful people, and my sinful self. The only thing that brings true joy, is being in fellowship with Jesus Christ. He is the only person that can bring an eternal smile to my face...and heaven is the only place where I will truly be joyful at all times. Nothing on this earth can satisfy....and nothing that I experience here will ever fill that longing to be home. I can't wait for the day when Jesus Christ will come in all his glory, and we will be taken into heaven to be with him forever. That is the day that all my hope rests on. This world is not my home, and I will never be satisfied with the things of the earth, because they're not reality. Heaven is reality. Jesus is reality. Everything else will pass away. So come Lord Jesus, come.
(Artwork by Faith Dever)
-Julie
Anyway, onto something a little more interesting then my love of playing house.
Don't worry, I love it here, but I've discovered something very interesting. Being at Ballet Magnificat doesn't automatically make me happy. I know, I know, you were all waiting for me to figure that one out. It's not that anything has gone wrong, or that I'm having any problems...I've just realized that being here is not going to ever be fulfilling. Only Jesus is. All summer I was pretty much positive that once I got here, life would be perfect, I'd always be smiling, and I'd never have another problem. Well, that's not true. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being here....but it's not heaven. I know that sounds kind of obvious, but it was honestly a revelation. I didn't think that anything could be better then B. Mag. Now I'm realizing that I'm still in a broken world with sinful people, and my sinful self. The only thing that brings true joy, is being in fellowship with Jesus Christ. He is the only person that can bring an eternal smile to my face...and heaven is the only place where I will truly be joyful at all times. Nothing on this earth can satisfy....and nothing that I experience here will ever fill that longing to be home. I can't wait for the day when Jesus Christ will come in all his glory, and we will be taken into heaven to be with him forever. That is the day that all my hope rests on. This world is not my home, and I will never be satisfied with the things of the earth, because they're not reality. Heaven is reality. Jesus is reality. Everything else will pass away. So come Lord Jesus, come.
(Artwork by Faith Dever)
-Julie
8/16/2007
Star struck...!
Okay, so yesterday, I took ballet class with the Ballet Magnificat Companies!! Oh my goodness, it was SO amazing. They're all such good dancers, and so, so kind! I was basically the worst dancer in the class...but it was actually a good thing. For too long I've been one of the best dancers at my other studios...and it's refreshing to have people to look up to now. I feel like I can study what they do and learn from them to better my dancing. However, all that came at a price! I danced harder then I think I ever have in those two hours this morning....and I hadn't danced much all summer....those two things add up to equal a VERY sore body. My legs are killing me. I'm going to ice my poor swollen knees again before I go to class again today. Why go again today you say? All for the love of the dance!!
I have more pictures for you! I thought I'd give you some faces to go with the names I'll be talking about more and more as ballet gets started for the year.
#1. Miss Kathy-She is almost 51, and is still the best dancer at B. Mag. She is truly awesome! She can dance circles around all the other twenty something dancers in the company. The Lord has really blessed her! She also happens to be one of the sweetest ladies in the south, and I am totally in awe of her. She waved at me today....I almost fell over with shock!
#2. Mr. Yuri- I am deathly afraid of this man. He is without a doubt the best guy dancer I have ever seen. He could be in any professional ballet company he chose, without question. He is also a very gifted choreographer, and has created the last four ballets here at B. Mag, as well as countless other repertoire pieces. Why am I afraid of him? Well, he carries a big stick, and is not afraid to use it! I have a very fond memory of him from summer intensive last year....after a few of us performed a combination he stopped the music and said, "Girls....that was....awful. If this was a performance, the audience would want their money back. Even your mom would want her money back."
#3. Miss Sol-Miss Sol is amazing. She is from Cuba, and used to be a principal dancer with the Cuban National ballet. She loves the trainees....but she's as strict as all get out! She touched my arm in class today to give me a correction...I'm never washing that arm again!
Yes, I am star struck. But what can I say? These are celebrities in their own world...and in mine. I've been dreaming of this day ever since I was a little girl! It's pretty amazing that it's finally a reality. The Lord has blessed me so much! I am so, so blessed to be living out my dream at such a young age. Goodness, if one dream is this amazing...who knows how awesome the next one will be! I am so grateful. So, so grateful.
-Julie
I have more pictures for you! I thought I'd give you some faces to go with the names I'll be talking about more and more as ballet gets started for the year.
#1. Miss Kathy-She is almost 51, and is still the best dancer at B. Mag. She is truly awesome! She can dance circles around all the other twenty something dancers in the company. The Lord has really blessed her! She also happens to be one of the sweetest ladies in the south, and I am totally in awe of her. She waved at me today....I almost fell over with shock!
#2. Mr. Yuri- I am deathly afraid of this man. He is without a doubt the best guy dancer I have ever seen. He could be in any professional ballet company he chose, without question. He is also a very gifted choreographer, and has created the last four ballets here at B. Mag, as well as countless other repertoire pieces. Why am I afraid of him? Well, he carries a big stick, and is not afraid to use it! I have a very fond memory of him from summer intensive last year....after a few of us performed a combination he stopped the music and said, "Girls....that was....awful. If this was a performance, the audience would want their money back. Even your mom would want her money back."
#3. Miss Sol-Miss Sol is amazing. She is from Cuba, and used to be a principal dancer with the Cuban National ballet. She loves the trainees....but she's as strict as all get out! She touched my arm in class today to give me a correction...I'm never washing that arm again!
Yes, I am star struck. But what can I say? These are celebrities in their own world...and in mine. I've been dreaming of this day ever since I was a little girl! It's pretty amazing that it's finally a reality. The Lord has blessed me so much! I am so, so blessed to be living out my dream at such a young age. Goodness, if one dream is this amazing...who knows how awesome the next one will be! I am so grateful. So, so grateful.
-Julie
8/15/2007
I'm officially on my own....now what??
Well, my parents left this morning...! It's a weird feeling, I'm sad, but not terribly upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss them a lot...but I know I'll see them again! I'm not even in the mood to cry because I have so much peace about being on my own. Sure it'll be hard sometimes...and I'll have moments where I feel like I can't make it....but I have Jesus! I'm so thankful that he doesn't have to go back to Michigan. I have the feeling that this is going to be a difficult but exciting year! I want the Lord to teach me more about himself, and how he wants me to apply that knowledge to the world around me.
It's amazing how the Lord uses our experiences to build our trust in him. A year ago at this time I was praying VERY hard about what the Lord wanted me to do after highschool. After several auditions, and several rejections, I had to give the situation up to the Lord and just trust that he had everything under control. Soon after, I was accepted to Ballet Magnificat. Not too many months later, my wonderful grandfather, who I was very close to, passed away. It was hard for me to handle his passing. At the same time, the Lord used that loss to teach me to trust him...even though the circumstances didn't make any sense. I still don't know why the Lord chose to take that precious man from my life....in many ways I feel like I still need him...but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord's timing is always perfect. After going through that, I can truly say that I trust the Lord in a way that I never would've/could've otherwise.
Those are just a few examples, I could tell you stories for hours about how the Lord has taught me to trust him, and how he has always been faithful to answer my prayers, but I'll save those for another time. Anyway, all that to say that I am again at a place where I have to just sit back and trust the Lord. Every time I go through one of these points in my life, I learn more about the Lord, and my walk deepens in a new way. I'm looking forward to the fact that I will be literally relying on Jesus for my daily needs...I'm pretty sure that I'm going to grow in ways that I couldn't/wouldn't anywhere else. Who knows what He's preparing me for! Maybe I'll be a dancer for the rest of my life....maybe I'll go to college....maybe I'll go into something I've never dreamed of...maybe I'll be a wife and mother.....maybe I'll die tomorrow. I don't know. What I do know is that the Lord is faithful, and that I trust him.
"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:9-10
I love this scripture. Especially, the last part "you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Isn't that amazing?? I don't know what's going to happen to me in the next few days, weeks, months, years...but I do know that I can trust the Lord, and that he's not going to let me down.
Thank you Lord Jesus that you are always faithful.
I wander from you so often Lord, my heart is so easily swayed.
But you O Lord are unchanging! You are tried and true.
How can I put my trust in anyone but you?
You lead me as a shepherd leads his sheep.
You care for me as a father cares for his daughter.
You love me unconditionally, as a husband loves his wife.
Thank you that you have taught me how to trust you.
Don't let me be satisfied where I am,
Teach me to want you more each day.
In the precious name of Jesus I pray these things.
Amen.
-Julie
It's amazing how the Lord uses our experiences to build our trust in him. A year ago at this time I was praying VERY hard about what the Lord wanted me to do after highschool. After several auditions, and several rejections, I had to give the situation up to the Lord and just trust that he had everything under control. Soon after, I was accepted to Ballet Magnificat. Not too many months later, my wonderful grandfather, who I was very close to, passed away. It was hard for me to handle his passing. At the same time, the Lord used that loss to teach me to trust him...even though the circumstances didn't make any sense. I still don't know why the Lord chose to take that precious man from my life....in many ways I feel like I still need him...but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord's timing is always perfect. After going through that, I can truly say that I trust the Lord in a way that I never would've/could've otherwise.
Those are just a few examples, I could tell you stories for hours about how the Lord has taught me to trust him, and how he has always been faithful to answer my prayers, but I'll save those for another time. Anyway, all that to say that I am again at a place where I have to just sit back and trust the Lord. Every time I go through one of these points in my life, I learn more about the Lord, and my walk deepens in a new way. I'm looking forward to the fact that I will be literally relying on Jesus for my daily needs...I'm pretty sure that I'm going to grow in ways that I couldn't/wouldn't anywhere else. Who knows what He's preparing me for! Maybe I'll be a dancer for the rest of my life....maybe I'll go to college....maybe I'll go into something I've never dreamed of...maybe I'll be a wife and mother.....maybe I'll die tomorrow. I don't know. What I do know is that the Lord is faithful, and that I trust him.
"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:9-10
I love this scripture. Especially, the last part "you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Isn't that amazing?? I don't know what's going to happen to me in the next few days, weeks, months, years...but I do know that I can trust the Lord, and that he's not going to let me down.
Thank you Lord Jesus that you are always faithful.
I wander from you so often Lord, my heart is so easily swayed.
But you O Lord are unchanging! You are tried and true.
How can I put my trust in anyone but you?
You lead me as a shepherd leads his sheep.
You care for me as a father cares for his daughter.
You love me unconditionally, as a husband loves his wife.
Thank you that you have taught me how to trust you.
Don't let me be satisfied where I am,
Teach me to want you more each day.
In the precious name of Jesus I pray these things.
Amen.
-Julie
8/14/2007
The Apartment
Well, those of you that have known me for long time know that I am a big fan of red and black. I'm not talking creepy gothic kinds of red and black, I'm more talking of the kind of red and black that you'd get if you put a red rose across piano keys; very classy, sophisticated and elegant! Before moving here I had never met another ballerina who had this same love of red and black....most of them are into pink and purple and frills. Anyway, all five of the girls that live here love red and black! So our whole apartment is red and black! It's so cute...I love it!
Here are some pictures of our apartment:
The kitchen:
the living room....
.....more of the living room.....
My (messy) bedroom:
...more of my bedroom.....
The bathroom that Danielle, Deidre and I share:
As you can see...I need to clean my room up a bit before (my roommate) Danielle comes! I don't know about you guys, but I kind of like a little bit of mess in my house. Hold on, don't close your ears! I really mean it. I like the place I'm in to feel lived in...I'm not a fan of living in a museum. On the other hand, there is a difference between a pleasant mess and a nasty one. I don't like my house to be a disaster...and it MUST be sanitary. No old food laying around, no dirty clothes on the floor and as few bugs as possible!
By the way, the bugs here in MS are HUGE. Last night I was asked to kill a cockroach that was at least as big is three quarters laying next to each other....I'm not kidding! Bugs don't bother me that much, so when the girls started screaming about a roach, I figured I'd just go kill it....no big deal. So I got a shoe and squished the little devil...but it didn't die. I hit it again...still alive. I sprayed it with poison....it stopped moving for about two minutes...and then got up and started to crawl away! So (I hope you're not eating) I skewered it with a fork and flushed it down the toilet...
Well, with that lovely thought in your minds, I'll say good bye!
Love,
Julie
Here are some pictures of our apartment:
The kitchen:
the living room....
.....more of the living room.....
My (messy) bedroom:
...more of my bedroom.....
The bathroom that Danielle, Deidre and I share:
As you can see...I need to clean my room up a bit before (my roommate) Danielle comes! I don't know about you guys, but I kind of like a little bit of mess in my house. Hold on, don't close your ears! I really mean it. I like the place I'm in to feel lived in...I'm not a fan of living in a museum. On the other hand, there is a difference between a pleasant mess and a nasty one. I don't like my house to be a disaster...and it MUST be sanitary. No old food laying around, no dirty clothes on the floor and as few bugs as possible!
By the way, the bugs here in MS are HUGE. Last night I was asked to kill a cockroach that was at least as big is three quarters laying next to each other....I'm not kidding! Bugs don't bother me that much, so when the girls started screaming about a roach, I figured I'd just go kill it....no big deal. So I got a shoe and squished the little devil...but it didn't die. I hit it again...still alive. I sprayed it with poison....it stopped moving for about two minutes...and then got up and started to crawl away! So (I hope you're not eating) I skewered it with a fork and flushed it down the toilet...
Well, with that lovely thought in your minds, I'll say good bye!
Love,
Julie
8/13/2007
Color blind
Oh my goodness...today has been very eventful! I feel like I went from being 17 to 30 overnight! The quick recap is basically, I got up, went shopping, opened a checking account, got a debit card, got a credit card, got a new job, and went home.
Yeah. It was nuts.
I wasn't really planning to do all that, it just kind of happened. I'm going to be a waitress...! I hope I like it! It sounds like a pretty fun job...talking with people, taking orders, cleaning up, and doing it again. I think it'll be fun! We'll see what I say in a few months...
One thing I wanted to share with y'all (I'm learning the talk), is a concern about racism. Personally, I have no big issues with any race... which is probably because my parents took great care to teach me that color means nothing, and shouldn't define a person. Unfortunately, not everyone here in Jackson thinks that way. It's not that they're horrible people, or that they hate any specific ethnicity, but there is definitely black/white/hispanic prejudice. They don't realize their bias, but it's there. It's a rampant problem, in the stores, on the streets, pretty much everywhere.
In Michigan, race seems to make little or no difference (at least in my circle of friends) but down here, it's a big deal....the segregation is much more clear then anywhere I've ever been...and it kills me. What's even worse, is that I see myself being effected by these views! I find myself afraid of the "black" part of town....when in reality, those people are probably nice! It's strange that after so many years of being color blind, I'm beginning to see why racism is such a big deal.
The stereotypes aren't fair, and I try not to pay attention to them, but at the same time I have to be safe. How do I balance that?? I don't want to be a snob that only goes to the "white" areas of town...but is it safe to frequent the other areas? I'm not sure. I want to hang out with people of every color....I want to be Jesus to everyone, both white and black, brown and red, green, blue or whatever color! I hate that color has an impact on my thinking.
Which brings me to my job. I am the only white person that works there. Does that bother me? No. However, everyone around me seems to be trying to tell me that I'm in danger. The people at my job are wonderful! They're fun loving, sweet and generous...and I like them (at least that's the first impression). But am I being stupid?? Should I work somewhere with more white people? I don't want to, but am I being too much of a Pollyanna? Do I see the world through rose colored glasses? Do I need a reality check? I don't know.
Yeah. It was nuts.
I wasn't really planning to do all that, it just kind of happened. I'm going to be a waitress...! I hope I like it! It sounds like a pretty fun job...talking with people, taking orders, cleaning up, and doing it again. I think it'll be fun! We'll see what I say in a few months...
One thing I wanted to share with y'all (I'm learning the talk), is a concern about racism. Personally, I have no big issues with any race... which is probably because my parents took great care to teach me that color means nothing, and shouldn't define a person. Unfortunately, not everyone here in Jackson thinks that way. It's not that they're horrible people, or that they hate any specific ethnicity, but there is definitely black/white/hispanic prejudice. They don't realize their bias, but it's there. It's a rampant problem, in the stores, on the streets, pretty much everywhere.
In Michigan, race seems to make little or no difference (at least in my circle of friends) but down here, it's a big deal....the segregation is much more clear then anywhere I've ever been...and it kills me. What's even worse, is that I see myself being effected by these views! I find myself afraid of the "black" part of town....when in reality, those people are probably nice! It's strange that after so many years of being color blind, I'm beginning to see why racism is such a big deal.
The stereotypes aren't fair, and I try not to pay attention to them, but at the same time I have to be safe. How do I balance that?? I don't want to be a snob that only goes to the "white" areas of town...but is it safe to frequent the other areas? I'm not sure. I want to hang out with people of every color....I want to be Jesus to everyone, both white and black, brown and red, green, blue or whatever color! I hate that color has an impact on my thinking.
Which brings me to my job. I am the only white person that works there. Does that bother me? No. However, everyone around me seems to be trying to tell me that I'm in danger. The people at my job are wonderful! They're fun loving, sweet and generous...and I like them (at least that's the first impression). But am I being stupid?? Should I work somewhere with more white people? I don't want to, but am I being too much of a Pollyanna? Do I see the world through rose colored glasses? Do I need a reality check? I don't know.
What the name of the blog means.....
What does the name of your blog mean? Why did you choose it?? Let me answer those questions as best I can....
First off, here's the scripture verse:
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." Phillipians 3:7-11
I love this passage of scripture. I don't live it out the way I want to, but it's my goal. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose everything....but if that's what has to happen for me to gain Christ, then I want to do that. This verse speaks of a very noble and lofty goal that many of us as Christians aspire to, but do we really realize what it is to lose everything? I know I don't. I live an amazingly blessed life....I live in a beautiful house (and have a sweet little apartment in MS), I have way more clothes then I need, I can eat at will, and I've never known the feeling of being completely alone. I have wonderful friends and family, who I love dearly, and a bright future ahead of me. Would I be willing to give all that up for Christ? I'm not talking about giving it up with pomp and circumstance, so that everyone would know what a great Christian I am. I'm talking about putting it away quietly, without ceremony, if Christ asked me to. In my own strength I couldn't do that, and would never want to....and I wonder sometimes if it would even bring glory to Christ for me to give up everything....but would I if he asked me to?
Since giving everything up for Christ is something that I constantly struggle with, it made sense to make that goal the title of this blog. Every problem that I have seems to come down to me having to let go of my wants, and turn everything over to Christ. As you read about my struggles, perhaps you'll see me move closer to my goal....and if I don't seem to be moving closer to my goal, perhaps you can give me a push in the right direction.
Well, I'm tired...and guess what?!?! I'm sleeping in my apartment tonight!! I'll try and post some pictures and details about the place tomorrow!
-Julie
First off, here's the scripture verse:
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." Phillipians 3:7-11
I love this passage of scripture. I don't live it out the way I want to, but it's my goal. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose everything....but if that's what has to happen for me to gain Christ, then I want to do that. This verse speaks of a very noble and lofty goal that many of us as Christians aspire to, but do we really realize what it is to lose everything? I know I don't. I live an amazingly blessed life....I live in a beautiful house (and have a sweet little apartment in MS), I have way more clothes then I need, I can eat at will, and I've never known the feeling of being completely alone. I have wonderful friends and family, who I love dearly, and a bright future ahead of me. Would I be willing to give all that up for Christ? I'm not talking about giving it up with pomp and circumstance, so that everyone would know what a great Christian I am. I'm talking about putting it away quietly, without ceremony, if Christ asked me to. In my own strength I couldn't do that, and would never want to....and I wonder sometimes if it would even bring glory to Christ for me to give up everything....but would I if he asked me to?
Since giving everything up for Christ is something that I constantly struggle with, it made sense to make that goal the title of this blog. Every problem that I have seems to come down to me having to let go of my wants, and turn everything over to Christ. As you read about my struggles, perhaps you'll see me move closer to my goal....and if I don't seem to be moving closer to my goal, perhaps you can give me a push in the right direction.
Well, I'm tired...and guess what?!?! I'm sleeping in my apartment tonight!! I'll try and post some pictures and details about the place tomorrow!
-Julie
8/10/2007
Moving Day!
Well, as per the request of many of my darling friends and family, here it is...the blog. Several of my friends have these, and I love reading what they have to say, but I never really thought that I'd join the group! Anyway, this is a really nice way to let you all know what's going on in my life...and it's nice not to have to send out mass emails, or repeat the same stories over and over and over(although I'll probably do that anyway).
For those that aren't clear on what I'm doing, let me explain. Today I'll move to Jackson, MS to train with Ballet Magnificat, the world's premier Christian ballet company. I'm living in a darling apartment with my roomates, Erin, Deidre, Danielle and Merry. We're "trainees" at B. Mag, which means that we're being trained to minister through dance. Even though we're not part of the paid ballet companies, we still do a lot of ministry, and get to use our talent to serve Jesus. We have ballet, pointe, modern, discipleship, anatomy class, jazz and rehearsals everyday. We also perform for different events and organizations on a weekly basis. Aside from that most trainees work a job on nights and weekends (I'll be joining the work force soon...more on that later). Anyway, that's a basic overview of what I'll be doing here at B. Mag! I don't know many more details, so I guess you'll find out as I do!
I decided that writing in a blog would be a good way for me to collect my thoughts, and think through issues and decisions that I'll be making. It's also a good way for me to let you know how to pray for me (I covet your prayers!)
Just so you know, I'm writing this from Memphis....! We had some car trouble, and stopped here to get it fixed. I should be in Jackson by this afternoon.
Thanks for taking the time to read this! I'll write more later.
-Julie
For those that aren't clear on what I'm doing, let me explain. Today I'll move to Jackson, MS to train with Ballet Magnificat, the world's premier Christian ballet company. I'm living in a darling apartment with my roomates, Erin, Deidre, Danielle and Merry. We're "trainees" at B. Mag, which means that we're being trained to minister through dance. Even though we're not part of the paid ballet companies, we still do a lot of ministry, and get to use our talent to serve Jesus. We have ballet, pointe, modern, discipleship, anatomy class, jazz and rehearsals everyday. We also perform for different events and organizations on a weekly basis. Aside from that most trainees work a job on nights and weekends (I'll be joining the work force soon...more on that later). Anyway, that's a basic overview of what I'll be doing here at B. Mag! I don't know many more details, so I guess you'll find out as I do!
I decided that writing in a blog would be a good way for me to collect my thoughts, and think through issues and decisions that I'll be making. It's also a good way for me to let you know how to pray for me (I covet your prayers!)
Just so you know, I'm writing this from Memphis....! We had some car trouble, and stopped here to get it fixed. I should be in Jackson by this afternoon.
Thanks for taking the time to read this! I'll write more later.
-Julie
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