Well, my parents left this morning...! It's a weird feeling, I'm sad, but not terribly upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss them a lot...but I know I'll see them again! I'm not even in the mood to cry because I have so much peace about being on my own. Sure it'll be hard sometimes...and I'll have moments where I feel like I can't make it....but I have Jesus! I'm so thankful that he doesn't have to go back to Michigan. I have the feeling that this is going to be a difficult but exciting year! I want the Lord to teach me more about himself, and how he wants me to apply that knowledge to the world around me.
It's amazing how the Lord uses our experiences to build our trust in him. A year ago at this time I was praying VERY hard about what the Lord wanted me to do after highschool. After several auditions, and several rejections, I had to give the situation up to the Lord and just trust that he had everything under control. Soon after, I was accepted to Ballet Magnificat. Not too many months later, my wonderful grandfather, who I was very close to, passed away. It was hard for me to handle his passing. At the same time, the Lord used that loss to teach me to trust him...even though the circumstances didn't make any sense. I still don't know why the Lord chose to take that precious man from my life....in many ways I feel like I still need him...but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord's timing is always perfect. After going through that, I can truly say that I trust the Lord in a way that I never would've/could've otherwise.
Those are just a few examples, I could tell you stories for hours about how the Lord has taught me to trust him, and how he has always been faithful to answer my prayers, but I'll save those for another time. Anyway, all that to say that I am again at a place where I have to just sit back and trust the Lord. Every time I go through one of these points in my life, I learn more about the Lord, and my walk deepens in a new way. I'm looking forward to the fact that I will be literally relying on Jesus for my daily needs...I'm pretty sure that I'm going to grow in ways that I couldn't/wouldn't anywhere else. Who knows what He's preparing me for! Maybe I'll be a dancer for the rest of my life....maybe I'll go to college....maybe I'll go into something I've never dreamed of...maybe I'll be a wife and mother.....maybe I'll die tomorrow. I don't know. What I do know is that the Lord is faithful, and that I trust him.
"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:9-10
I love this scripture. Especially, the last part "you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Isn't that amazing?? I don't know what's going to happen to me in the next few days, weeks, months, years...but I do know that I can trust the Lord, and that he's not going to let me down.
Thank you Lord Jesus that you are always faithful.
I wander from you so often Lord, my heart is so easily swayed.
But you O Lord are unchanging! You are tried and true.
How can I put my trust in anyone but you?
You lead me as a shepherd leads his sheep.
You care for me as a father cares for his daughter.
You love me unconditionally, as a husband loves his wife.
Thank you that you have taught me how to trust you.
Don't let me be satisfied where I am,
Teach me to want you more each day.
In the precious name of Jesus I pray these things.
Amen.
-Julie
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On the way home we swung by Graceland and took a look at Elvis' home. We were expecting it to be out in the boonies, and were surprised that it was in the middle of the suburbs (maybe in the 60s these were the boonies). There were lots of people afoot because later that night there would be a candlelight vigil to commemorate the 30th anniversary of his death.
We also visited the meeting point of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers at the site of Fort Defiance in Cairo, IL. What a horribly depressing and depressed town. It is shameful that the Illinois political machine, both Democratic and Republican, would not do something substantive to help the people of this town to get back on their feet. This area that Lewis and Clark used as a staging and training area for five days just before their historic journey across the west deserves much better.
BTW, if you subtract these two side trips and a 45-minute construction delay (Indianapolis), it's pretty much 16 hours by car betwixt us.
Love, Daddy-O
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