Joy!!

Hey there!

Today was SUCH a good day. Last week was hard....just one of those weeks where everything seemed to frustrate me....for no reason (at least now I see that, at the time it seemed like real frustration.) Anyway, this morning at work I started out with that same mind set. "Poor me....life is hard....why is God so far away....why the heck do I live in Mississippi....why is it still so long until I get to go home....blah, blah, blah." How stupid is that? I was enjoying being miserable. No good. So anyway, I half heartedly prayed, "Lord, please help me to have joy....because I can't take this anymore."

Why do I ask God for things, and then act surprised when they happen? You'd think I'd catch on by now....

Anyway, about five minutes later, I just started grinning. No reason, except that Jesus reached down and touched me. Then, tons of scriptures started coming to my mind:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess 5:16-18

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."Romans 12:12

"The Lord is my shepherd....."Psalm 23


I just started smiling, bigger and bigger, until I broke out into laughter...(the looks on my coworkers faces were priceless....I felt like a total idiot, but hey, if my pride has to take a hit for God to do some work, then I'm good with that.)

God is so good!! His joy is so incredible! Why do I ever think that I need ANYTHING else to make me happy? I have joy in him, because he loves me! He has called me to be his own. That is MORE then enough reason to celebrate.

Anyway, so God continued to work on me this morning at Ballet Mag devos (we have devotions every morning....it is awesome! 25 or so people, all loving the Lord, sharing in prayer and worship together....a little taste of heaven!) We went around in a circle, and just shared a little of what God is doing in all of us in our personal devotions. Mr. Yuri is doing a two year study of the book of Genesis, and so he's been studying Joseph for about six months now. For some reason, that story really stuck out to me today. Here we have Joseph, an innocent man, in jail, waking up everyday in a cell, and still praising God. He didn't have a "valley" time for a few weeks...he had it for two years! Yet, he still clung to God's promises. His life made NO sense. Why would he be locked up in jail, for a crime he didn't commit? Why would God let that happen? He had no reason to believe that he'd ever get out of prison, except the fact that he knew God had a plan.

Mr. Yuri made the point that even when we don't see God working, or when his plan is hard, or makes no sense, God is still God. God is still sovereign, and he is still with us. It may not "feel" like that, but so what? Emotions change like the wind. God does not. He's solid, steadfast, unchanging.


Now, I'm not in a prison by ANY means. I really enjoy it here, but for the last few days I've allowed myself to be overwhelmed with the darkness, instead of clinging to Jesus. The thing is, back when I was a baby christian...and even a child in my faith, God would always send me the "warm fuzzies" when I needed to feel close to him. Not so much anymore. He's asking me to stand in my faith, believe in his promises, and trust in his plan. I have to choose to believe that God's will is being accomplished, even when it makes no sense. Even when he "feels" far away...even when the path he's got me on is frustrating....even when I'm so tired I don't think I'll ever recover.....God is still God, and I am still his.