SO many thoughts......SO little time.....

So, this entry has no real topic....it's just a kaleidoscope of thoughts from the last week.

The loving nickname for the Ballet Magnificat Trainee program is the "B&B Boot camp".....and no, B&B does not stand for "bed and breakfast" it stands for "bible and ballet."

Lately, it's been more of the former, less of the other. The Lord has been challenging me to move to the "next level" in him. He is no longer letting the little things slide. No. They need to be cut out of my life. There is no more room for these "harmless" habits or personality defects.

He's also been asking me to step out of my comfort zone in terms of leading.....and following. I've been given a lot of responsibility here. I'm leading two prayer groups, one for my student bible study, one for the B. Mag intercession group. That is how he's challenging me to lead....I'm responsible to hear from him, to seek him, on the behalf of others. It's not just about my walk with the Lord, it's about following Christ so that others have an example to follow. Humbling. The other thing that he's been testing is my ability to follow. I don't always agree with the leaders here. I don't always like what the important people in my life have to say. NEVERTHELESS, I am still responsible to be humble and to accept correction. Just because God is asking me to lead in some areas, DOES NOT mean that I have it all together. I am under authority still....that's a hard balance sometimes. It's hard to switch from being the leader to the follower, but it's an important balance that I'll need for the rest of my life.

The other thought I've been having lately: I am so comfortable being an adult. I've always wanted to be one, really, since I was five I've wanted to be "all grown up".....it finally dawned on me the other day that I am one. Not that I have it all together, not that I'm done learning, not that at all....just that this is MY life and I'm living it. Last year I felt like a little kid playing dress up....like this wasn't really my life, it was just pretend. It's slowly dawned on me that this is my life, it's not a dress rehearsal. I enjoy it so much. The independence, the freedom to discover who I am, who God is, the joy of living life with the amazing girls here. This is a WONDERFUL phase of life, I love it.

Last thing: Come Lord Jesus, come! I've been thinking a lot about him coming back, I hope it's soon! I love this verse of the song, "You're beautiful" by Phil Wickham.

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing You're beautiful

Amen. Come Lord Jesus, come!