Hosea

Hey y'all.

Well....I started this entry last week sometime.....I just never finished.

Last weekend Jeremy came down for a few days, and we had a marvelous time. We did a lot of different things, but one fun thing we did was go to see the movie Fireproof. For those that haven't seen it, it's EXCELLENT. Definitely a low budget film, but the message is AMAZING. It's about a married couple, and their marriage issues.....and how they work through them, to God's glory.

After going to see the movie, it made me think a lot about how God acts toward us. Actually, a similar story is told in the Bible....you can find it in the book of Isaiah. I've been studying Hosea these last couple of weeks. I love this story. It's sad, it's frustrating at times, but it shows the incredible, unwavering, immense, steadfast love of God.

Hosea was a prophet during a time when Israel had turned COMPLETELY away from the Lord. They were worshiping idols....prostituting themselves with other gods. The Lord was furious. He had chosen Israel to be his bride, his people, his one and only, and she turned her back on him. Heartbreaking.

In the past I've read that story and it seemed like God was so mean! The things he says to/about Israel are terrible. A few years of life experience, a little more wisdom, and having a relationship of my own have made me realize that all that God did was out of love. Yes, he was angry....but he wasn't being vengeful. He loved Israel SO much, that he let her go her own way. He knew that by letting her go, she would see how terrible life without him was, and she would return. All the things that happened to Israel were out of his GREAT love for her. He knew that the best way to pursue her, was to let her go. Yet he never let her leave his hand...he still had complete control, he knew exactly how much he would allow until he would restore her. He wasn't done with her, he continued to love and look after her. Many years later, he sent his only son to die for her...it wasn't about anger, it was all about love.

God does that in our lives as well. Once you know the Lord, once you have truly tasted his goodness, you can't enjoy sin. Oh you may, for a time, but God loves us SO much that he doesn't allow us to enjoy our sin for long! Those temporary pleasures always turn sour, and we are driven back into his ever loving, ever open arms. What great love! It hurts him to see us run from him, but he knows that letting us taste life without him is the best way to bring us back.....so he let's us go.....out of his great love.....all the while eagerly awaiting our return.

That's a beautiful picture of how marriage should be. I think that's why I loved Fireproof so much. That's the kind of love that a husband should have for his wife....and vice versa. So many people jump ship when things get tough. True love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, love NEVER fails."

Consider my servant ______.

We've been talking about the names of God in my Bible study. This week we talked about "El Elyon" which translates "God most high". The names of God all speak to different attributes of his character.....they reveal him in different ways to us. I LOVE learning about this. I have this weird fixation on names. I love to find out what they mean, because many times they reveal a particular strength or character flaw in their bearer. When I have children I'm going to give them names that tell of the kind of person I want them to be. My parents did things that way (to some degree) and it's really cool.

Anyway, sorry, that was a bunny trail, that was not the point of this entry.

I wanted to talk about Job. Now, don't worry, I'm not going through anything terrible....usually that's when people fixate on his story.....I just find the way God is revealed in this story to be incredible. Take a look.

Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

Okay, stop. Look at who starts this conversation about Job. Satan doesn't want to pick on Job.....God brings him up. How amazing is that?? God, in his sovereignty knew that Job would stand up to what Satan was going to throw against him. HE KNEW. God wouldn't have said that if Job was going to fail....what a compliment!

What does that look like in my life?? When I face trials and hardships I'm tempted to ask why. This story makes it seem like that is DESIRABLE not only for the testing of my faith, but also because it shows that God knows that I will stand."Consider my servant Julie. There is no one on earth like her; she is blameless and upright, a woman who fears God and shuns evil." I want that to be true of me. What an amazing thing it would be to be complimented by the God of the universe....and for him to know and to trust you to stand....knowing all the while that your faith will bring him glory. That's not a prideful request. I want God to be glorified. I want him to know that I will stand against trials, for HIS namesake. It is for this very reason that the apostles in Acts 5 "left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." It is a privilege to suffer. It is a privilege to be one who God knows will stand.

Put your name in the blank...."Consider my servant ______." Does God think that you are worthy of suffering for his name? And when he does bring those trials, do you rejoice??

Love you all. Peace.

-Julie

SO many thoughts......SO little time.....

So, this entry has no real topic....it's just a kaleidoscope of thoughts from the last week.

The loving nickname for the Ballet Magnificat Trainee program is the "B&B Boot camp".....and no, B&B does not stand for "bed and breakfast" it stands for "bible and ballet."

Lately, it's been more of the former, less of the other. The Lord has been challenging me to move to the "next level" in him. He is no longer letting the little things slide. No. They need to be cut out of my life. There is no more room for these "harmless" habits or personality defects.

He's also been asking me to step out of my comfort zone in terms of leading.....and following. I've been given a lot of responsibility here. I'm leading two prayer groups, one for my student bible study, one for the B. Mag intercession group. That is how he's challenging me to lead....I'm responsible to hear from him, to seek him, on the behalf of others. It's not just about my walk with the Lord, it's about following Christ so that others have an example to follow. Humbling. The other thing that he's been testing is my ability to follow. I don't always agree with the leaders here. I don't always like what the important people in my life have to say. NEVERTHELESS, I am still responsible to be humble and to accept correction. Just because God is asking me to lead in some areas, DOES NOT mean that I have it all together. I am under authority still....that's a hard balance sometimes. It's hard to switch from being the leader to the follower, but it's an important balance that I'll need for the rest of my life.

The other thought I've been having lately: I am so comfortable being an adult. I've always wanted to be one, really, since I was five I've wanted to be "all grown up".....it finally dawned on me the other day that I am one. Not that I have it all together, not that I'm done learning, not that at all....just that this is MY life and I'm living it. Last year I felt like a little kid playing dress up....like this wasn't really my life, it was just pretend. It's slowly dawned on me that this is my life, it's not a dress rehearsal. I enjoy it so much. The independence, the freedom to discover who I am, who God is, the joy of living life with the amazing girls here. This is a WONDERFUL phase of life, I love it.

Last thing: Come Lord Jesus, come! I've been thinking a lot about him coming back, I hope it's soon! I love this verse of the song, "You're beautiful" by Phil Wickham.

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing You're beautiful

Amen. Come Lord Jesus, come!

The things of earth will grow strangely dim.....

.....in the light of his glory and grace.

Amen??

Why do we put so much hope in the things of this world?? Today the one that made an impression on me was the vanity of women. My goodness. Everyone at my church is dressed to the nines.....people hardly wear an outfit more then once......looking perfect is a good enough reason to be late to church.....what the heck?!?! There's something wrong with that.


It's not that I don't understand....I do. In and of myself, I'm in that race with everyone else. Who has the best hair? Who looks the cutest? Does she have the same shirt as me? Blah, blah, puke, blah.

However, because it is no longer I that live, but CHRIST lives in me, looking great is close to the bottom of my list. Women are so deceived. Why do we sacrifice time with the Lord, our attitude with our husbands, children, roommates and friends....and our God given resources, just to have something that doesn't matter? The Lord made women beautiful....period. All the extra frills and frivolous charms are vanity.

I'm not trying to be self righteous....really. I'm just frustrated. Ladies, if you want to be treated like more then just a pretty face.....then act like it! I'm all for looking pretty, it just can't be your focus. Getting angry over what you're wearing to church is just stupid. Who cares? God doesn't. If I ever get the chance to be a leader in a church, that's going to be a big deal to me. I want the elders to wear the same outfits (because they've given everything else to those in need). I don't want the worship team wearing all designer clothing (because the money could be better spent reaching the lost here and abroad). I don't want the youth group to shun kids that are wearing the WalMart brand jeans (because Jesus died for them just as much as he died for the Abercrombie model clones)......I don't want to create an atmosphere in which you feel ashamed to go to church if you don't have the latest and greatest! Women we should build each other up in the Lord, not compete for some imaginary title of "best looking girl at church."

Shame on us for that.

"And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace."

Galations 1:10

Am I now seeking the approval of men? Or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ Jesus.

So, lately I have NOT been able to dance. At all. No, really, I've been terrible.....this is not false modesty.....I used to be able to dance much better then I have been dancing these last few weeks. Some of it is being out of shape, some is dancing with REALLY good dancers.....but a lot of it is the attitude of my heart.

I didn't realize it until yesterday, but there's been something ugly lurking in my heart and mind these past few weeks. I've been WAY too focused on the opinion of my teachers and peers (something I thought wouldn't happen to me, because I'm not focused on getting into the company). However, that's the truth. I was complaining to a friend about how bad I was, and how my talent for dance seemed to have left me.....she didn't respond the way I thought she would.

"Julie, why are you complaining?? Sounds to me like you're being refined. You always pray for the Lord to refine you, and now that he's doing it, you're complaining. The Lord is stretching you outside of what you are comfortable with, in order to make you rely on him. Are you learning humility? Selflessness? Are you learning to work for the LORD not for men?? Aren't those good things? WHY are you complaining??"

Mhhmm. Thanks for that.......tough love. I needed it, I really did. It was a hit to my pride and self indignation, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Especially because it was on the car ride to our first performance.

After that I spent some time in prayer...just pouring my heart out to the Lord and asking him to change me. I realized that I wanted people to see Jesus IN ME.....I wanted to glorify God with MY DANCING.....no. That's not how it works. I have to leave out the "me" part. I just want people to see Jesus......for God to be glorified, no matter what.

It's amazing what the Word, the Spirit, and a good friend can do for you. My attitude was transformed, almost instantly. My cares about other people, the teachers, the audience, my peers.....suddenly seemed ridiculous in the light of JESUS CHRIST, the son of the living God, and an opportunity to worship him with my whole body. The performance was awesome. I danced like a free woman. The chains of fear, doubt and discouragement were released....I felt like a different person.

Praise the Lord. Isn't that a cool testimony to HIM?? Isn't it amazing how he can change hearts (even stubborn ones!) God gets the glory. Amen?