It's all about Jesus......no really, it is.

I had quite the weekend. I got to share the gospel twice (once to a Muslim man, once to a drunk customer), I was robbed and I (along with my roommates) drove a drunk coworker home from work (he was hardcore drunk, throwing up and finally passing out in the back seat of Megan's car...Dani and I prayed...). It was all very surreal. I don't really want to tell you the whole story, because that would bring credit to me. It makes me sound like some sort of hero, or saint, or something really amazing and cool.....and that's a bold face lie.

Lately I've been struggling. I don't "feel" close to the Lord....I crave more time with him in prayer and in the Word, but haven't done anything about it. I go to prayer meetings, but mainly out of obligation. I've been frustrated and even mildly depressed about dance. Work is going well, but it's not without its frustrations. I've been pretty consumed with myself, my own emotions and desires, my own relationship with the Lord....This is not a pity party, the point is, I'm not a super christian.

It's all about Jesus.....no really, it is.

He's done some incredible works during these last 24 hours.....and I just happened to be the vessel. It amazes me. I didn't go out looking for evangelism opportunities...I literally walked right into them. I wish you guys could see how beaten down I've been lately. I feel like the walking testimony for 2 Cor 12:9-10 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I'm in awe. Really Jesus?? Really?? You want to use me to share about you? I'm weak, I'm sinful, I'm not a good example......you want to use me?? Incomprehensible.

At the same time, it's strangely exciting. It's amazing to speak and know that it's not you, but He that lives inside you. Sometimes it's an almost out of body experience....yet completely natural...to react in such a Christ like way. It's just simply not me. Julianna Arwen Rubio does not have that much goodness, Jesus Christ of Nazareth does.

Just goes to show that it's not AT ALL about me. Yes, I need to follow the Word, I need to be in prayer, I need to be ready to evangelize at any moment....but when I am doing those things and I simply don't feel sufficient, his grace is more then enough.

Thank you Jesus....since I seem to forget so often, I'll say it again, it's all about you, it really is.