So, I was thinking about the "stale state" of my Christianity....and I think these guys put into words what I've been beginning to realize.
"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above." -Robert Robinson
"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." -Peter the Apostle
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Jesus
"You can't do it. We can't draw closer to God by trying harder. "Pull it together" by letting it go...into the hands of God."-Jeremy
"Jeremy took the words right out of my mouth ... what he said ... and what He said."-Daddy
Thanks for the counsel. I am blessed to have wise men in my life.
I rely too much on my own ability to love the Lord....but it's His love that I need in order to love Him...you know? I have to surrender.
I LOVE being independent....I LOVE doing things on my own....it's partly my personality, and partly how I was raised. It can be a good thing, but in this situation it's not. I'm like the two year old trying to tie her own shoes. "I can do it myself Daddy!" But I can't. My shoes are on the wrong feet.....and the laces are dragging in the dirt.....I need His help.
So, I guess the task ahead is kind of a paradox. I must allow myself to be bound to Christ, and I have to let HIM be the one to do it. All my own striving won't work, only Jesus, only his mercy and grace will change me.
5/12/2008
5/11/2008
Stale
Can your Christianity become stale?? Has mine become such? Am I the salt that has lost it's saltiness? Sometimes I wonder. I have to be honest. As much as I would love to tell you that I am passionate about Jesus all the time, it's not always the case. This is not a "I'm beating myself over the head" entry, I just want to be real about what's going on.
It's not that anything is wrong, I'm not going through any hardships, I'm just stale. Is being "tired" or "busy" a good excuse....? I don't really think so. My prayers seem hollow....the Word seems dry.....Christianity is not a feeling....I know that....but what is the deal with this dry spot? The things that used to draw me to the Lord seem common place. My awe of the cross, my wonder at his goodness, my thankful heart, where is that? Where is the girl in love? Why is she replaced by a tired, stressed out woman who would rather kneel during worship then dance....not because she is broken, but simply because her feet hurt??
Have you ever sat down to pray, and so many thoughts are swirling in your head that the prayer becomes a to do list....and becomes frustrating rather then sweet, intimate time with Jesus?
Since when was it okay with me that Jesus is on a list, rather then in my heart?
In the words of Mr. Yuri, "Come on girl, pull it together." He was talking dance, but that's not the only area those words hit.
Psalm 42 is my prayer.
"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
................................
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God."
I need Jesus to give me the strength to overcome. My heart's desire IS to serve him, and I need to live like that is the case.
"Come on girl, pull it together."
It's not that anything is wrong, I'm not going through any hardships, I'm just stale. Is being "tired" or "busy" a good excuse....? I don't really think so. My prayers seem hollow....the Word seems dry.....Christianity is not a feeling....I know that....but what is the deal with this dry spot? The things that used to draw me to the Lord seem common place. My awe of the cross, my wonder at his goodness, my thankful heart, where is that? Where is the girl in love? Why is she replaced by a tired, stressed out woman who would rather kneel during worship then dance....not because she is broken, but simply because her feet hurt??
Have you ever sat down to pray, and so many thoughts are swirling in your head that the prayer becomes a to do list....and becomes frustrating rather then sweet, intimate time with Jesus?
Since when was it okay with me that Jesus is on a list, rather then in my heart?
In the words of Mr. Yuri, "Come on girl, pull it together." He was talking dance, but that's not the only area those words hit.
Psalm 42 is my prayer.
"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
................................
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God."
I need Jesus to give me the strength to overcome. My heart's desire IS to serve him, and I need to live like that is the case.
"Come on girl, pull it together."
5/05/2008
Two kinds of Christianity
Sorry it's been so long......I have had a thought forming in my mind for months now....and I've thought about it alot this week....so I had to finish thinking before I could write. Hopefully it makes sense....
There are not two kinds of Christians.......there are not different ways to live out your faith.....there are, in fact, two religions by the same name. We are NOT two different parts of the same religion. These two religions are radically different. One leads to life, the other to death. One is absolute truth, the other is the worst kind of deceit. Each group has its following. One walks the wide road, the other the narrow. Both do good works......both try to live good lives....both believe in heaven....but only one believes in hell. They both believe in Jesus....but they don't believe in the same one. This is not a new idea...it's talked about throughout the Bible....goats and sheep....wheat and chaff....they both dwell together, but only one group knows the truth.
Yes, there are two different religions. One is very evil, the other is pure good. It is hard to separate the two, they look very similar on the outside...but the shepherd knows his sheep, and the goats cannot fool him.
The kind of Christianity that is applauded by the world is the kind that is tolerant, open minded, updated, trendy, safe, it brings no controversy, it holds up no standard, it argues nothing, and to them, the Bible is a "good book." Don't be fooled, dear friends, they are trapped in the worst kind of hypocrisy. They claim to be more relevant, they claim to be more "forward" but what they are is deceived. Their doctrine claims that if you say, "the prayer" that you are now guaranteed heaven. That's a nice thought, but it fails to ring true. A prayer without repentance, without a true change of heart just hits the ceiling and falls back to earth....heaven knows it not. These Christians live the comfortable American life....they indulge in every sort of evil that the heathens do....without remorse they rest on the assurance that the "prayer" said in 3rd grade Sunday School will somehow magically save them from death and hell. They believe that they are their own standard, they believe that they can judge right and wrong for themselves. They do not believe the words of the Bible, after all, they're twenty one, or forty five, or sixty.....they must certainly know more then a book that has withstood two thousand years of controversy. The prophet Jeremiah hears from the Lord on this very subject, "This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you;
they fill you with false hopes.
They speak visions from their own minds,
not from the mouth of the LORD.
They keep saying to those who despise me,
'The LORD says: You will have peace.'
And to all who follow the stubbornness of their hearts
they say, 'No harm will come to you.'
But which of them has stood in the council of the LORD
to see or to hear his word?
Who has listened and heard his word?
Jeremiah 23:16-18
The leaders of this cult promise false peace and security. They claim their destination to be heaven while sitting on a bus to hell.
This is the worst kind of religion. One that is so close to the original that it is hard to see a difference....but there is.....there is.
A real follower of Christ is that prays often....not just once. Those that are going to heaven are those that believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and savior....and because of that powerful realization their lives are COMPLETELY revolutionized. This Christianity is loving, but firm. It holds up the Word of the Lord as a standard, it does not back down from tough issues, it does not gloss over sin but slashes it out of existence. These are the people that preach about HELL and SIN, not to bring fear, but because that is the REALITY of humanity. They have no king but Yeshua. These people are the ones that live and die for the name of Jesus Christ, the son of God, and they know him personally. These are the people that don't just surrender, but abandon their lives to the cause for which they have been assigned. They hold no fear of death or hell, or poverty or disease, or hunger or hurt....they are few and far between. They know the real pain of their sin, and the real joy of their salvation.
Don't be deceived. There will come a day when we will stand before the Lord, and he will know his own. You cannot fool him. Either you know him, or you don't, so be prepared.
There are not two kinds of Christians.......there are not different ways to live out your faith.....there are, in fact, two religions by the same name. We are NOT two different parts of the same religion. These two religions are radically different. One leads to life, the other to death. One is absolute truth, the other is the worst kind of deceit. Each group has its following. One walks the wide road, the other the narrow. Both do good works......both try to live good lives....both believe in heaven....but only one believes in hell. They both believe in Jesus....but they don't believe in the same one. This is not a new idea...it's talked about throughout the Bible....goats and sheep....wheat and chaff....they both dwell together, but only one group knows the truth.
Yes, there are two different religions. One is very evil, the other is pure good. It is hard to separate the two, they look very similar on the outside...but the shepherd knows his sheep, and the goats cannot fool him.
The kind of Christianity that is applauded by the world is the kind that is tolerant, open minded, updated, trendy, safe, it brings no controversy, it holds up no standard, it argues nothing, and to them, the Bible is a "good book." Don't be fooled, dear friends, they are trapped in the worst kind of hypocrisy. They claim to be more relevant, they claim to be more "forward" but what they are is deceived. Their doctrine claims that if you say, "the prayer" that you are now guaranteed heaven. That's a nice thought, but it fails to ring true. A prayer without repentance, without a true change of heart just hits the ceiling and falls back to earth....heaven knows it not. These Christians live the comfortable American life....they indulge in every sort of evil that the heathens do....without remorse they rest on the assurance that the "prayer" said in 3rd grade Sunday School will somehow magically save them from death and hell. They believe that they are their own standard, they believe that they can judge right and wrong for themselves. They do not believe the words of the Bible, after all, they're twenty one, or forty five, or sixty.....they must certainly know more then a book that has withstood two thousand years of controversy. The prophet Jeremiah hears from the Lord on this very subject, "This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you;
they fill you with false hopes.
They speak visions from their own minds,
not from the mouth of the LORD.
They keep saying to those who despise me,
'The LORD says: You will have peace.'
And to all who follow the stubbornness of their hearts
they say, 'No harm will come to you.'
But which of them has stood in the council of the LORD
to see or to hear his word?
Who has listened and heard his word?
Jeremiah 23:16-18
The leaders of this cult promise false peace and security. They claim their destination to be heaven while sitting on a bus to hell.
This is the worst kind of religion. One that is so close to the original that it is hard to see a difference....but there is.....there is.
A real follower of Christ is that prays often....not just once. Those that are going to heaven are those that believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and savior....and because of that powerful realization their lives are COMPLETELY revolutionized. This Christianity is loving, but firm. It holds up the Word of the Lord as a standard, it does not back down from tough issues, it does not gloss over sin but slashes it out of existence. These are the people that preach about HELL and SIN, not to bring fear, but because that is the REALITY of humanity. They have no king but Yeshua. These people are the ones that live and die for the name of Jesus Christ, the son of God, and they know him personally. These are the people that don't just surrender, but abandon their lives to the cause for which they have been assigned. They hold no fear of death or hell, or poverty or disease, or hunger or hurt....they are few and far between. They know the real pain of their sin, and the real joy of their salvation.
Don't be deceived. There will come a day when we will stand before the Lord, and he will know his own. You cannot fool him. Either you know him, or you don't, so be prepared.
4/29/2008
Ummm...??
Okay, so I was flipping through youtube....and I typed in Ballet Magnificat....I clicked on the first video and I'm like, "oh wow, we just danced at this church not too long ago.....hey, that girl looks like me....oh wow....that is me....!"
It's not the best quality video, but you can see a little bit of our dance called "Freedom" by Jason Upton. I'm the girl that's in focus during the first shot, but after that you can't see where I'm at.
It's not the best quality video, but you can see a little bit of our dance called "Freedom" by Jason Upton. I'm the girl that's in focus during the first shot, but after that you can't see where I'm at.
4/27/2008
The Cross: Ultimate love or foolishness?
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18
So many people.....so much to say.....so many are lost.....and I have the answer.....but most don't listen....their hearts are hard.
While I was in Chicago I met a man who I will never forget. His name was Michael.....he was playing the saxophone on the street corner.....I stopped to sing with him (it was an amazing thing to add the sound of my instrument to his, as both drifted into time and soon were lost in the faces, cars, buildings and waining light of the Chicago sky line.)
After a pleasant round of "My favorite things".....I asked him a question:
"Do you know Jesus?"
"Of course I do sweetheart." He replied without hesitation.
I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed, I wanted to share Jesus with him. "Really? What is Jesus to you?"
"He's the universe....he's peace and all that is good. He was a good man who preached a good message and taught us how to redeem ourselves."
"That's not what the Bible says." I replied, "the Bible teaches that Jesus Christ died on a cross to pay for our sins, our wrong doings, because in and of ourselves we could never do enough good to cover for all the wrong we've done."
"Jesus Christ was a fool," he said, "if he died on that cross. No, that couldn't be it, he couldn't have done that, he wants us to redeem ourselves."
"How?"
"Through good works....if you kill a man, you must save one, if you steal, you must give back.....that's how you redeem yourself. Just look at the universe, buying and selling are the only ways to get anything. You can't get something for nothing. You must not believe in Jesus," he retorted, starting to get angry, "you believe in the Bible....you have your noes stuck in a book....you believe a lie....you've been decieved....you have no idea what you are talking about.....that's a nice fairy tale sweetheart, but it's not reality."
I melted on the inside. My heart broke. How could I explain my Jesus to this man? How do I explain the incredible love of Christ? All I could do was smile sweetly and all the sudden I heard myself ask him, "what is reality?"
"This is reality. You, me, Chicago, right now."
"Can you prove that?"
"No."
"Exactly, this is reality to you because it's what you've experienced. How can you tell me that what I've experienced is not reality, when you've never experienced it? You won't understand the reality of Jesus' love....a love that would drive him to do something foolish...like die on a cross for you and me...unless you see it in your own life. It takes a step of faith."
"Whatever....you're crazy.....that's not true...you probably read it in the Bible somewhere....peace girl, I'm done."
"Okay, thanks for talking to me, have a great evening."
The devil worshiper at Barnes and Noble.....Morris at work every morning....Johnny at the bus station.....and now Michael....all have one thing in common. They know of Jesus, but they don't believe in him. They believe in love, but they don't believe in redemption. They believe in the historical Jesus, but they don't believe in the Word. They believe that they have Jesus, but he MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IN THEIR LIVES.
No fairy tale ending....no amazing conversion....like many of the other people I've talked to about Jesus, he'll accept Jesus as a good man, but not as savior....the Bible is a good book....but not something to be taken too seriously.
These basic concepts are things that my life is built on. They are the core of who I am, and they are the motivation behind much of what I do. How do I convey who Jesus is and how he can change them? Street evangelism is a hard thing. I don't like it...but I also can't stand walking past someone who is headed to Hell....as if everything is okay.
I guess it's not really my job to get frustrated....this is the Lord's work...he will see it completed...all I can do is offer myself as an instrument.
So many people.....so much to say.....so many are lost.....and I have the answer.....but most don't listen....their hearts are hard.
While I was in Chicago I met a man who I will never forget. His name was Michael.....he was playing the saxophone on the street corner.....I stopped to sing with him (it was an amazing thing to add the sound of my instrument to his, as both drifted into time and soon were lost in the faces, cars, buildings and waining light of the Chicago sky line.)
After a pleasant round of "My favorite things".....I asked him a question:
"Do you know Jesus?"
"Of course I do sweetheart." He replied without hesitation.
I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed, I wanted to share Jesus with him. "Really? What is Jesus to you?"
"He's the universe....he's peace and all that is good. He was a good man who preached a good message and taught us how to redeem ourselves."
"That's not what the Bible says." I replied, "the Bible teaches that Jesus Christ died on a cross to pay for our sins, our wrong doings, because in and of ourselves we could never do enough good to cover for all the wrong we've done."
"Jesus Christ was a fool," he said, "if he died on that cross. No, that couldn't be it, he couldn't have done that, he wants us to redeem ourselves."
"How?"
"Through good works....if you kill a man, you must save one, if you steal, you must give back.....that's how you redeem yourself. Just look at the universe, buying and selling are the only ways to get anything. You can't get something for nothing. You must not believe in Jesus," he retorted, starting to get angry, "you believe in the Bible....you have your noes stuck in a book....you believe a lie....you've been decieved....you have no idea what you are talking about.....that's a nice fairy tale sweetheart, but it's not reality."
I melted on the inside. My heart broke. How could I explain my Jesus to this man? How do I explain the incredible love of Christ? All I could do was smile sweetly and all the sudden I heard myself ask him, "what is reality?"
"This is reality. You, me, Chicago, right now."
"Can you prove that?"
"No."
"Exactly, this is reality to you because it's what you've experienced. How can you tell me that what I've experienced is not reality, when you've never experienced it? You won't understand the reality of Jesus' love....a love that would drive him to do something foolish...like die on a cross for you and me...unless you see it in your own life. It takes a step of faith."
"Whatever....you're crazy.....that's not true...you probably read it in the Bible somewhere....peace girl, I'm done."
"Okay, thanks for talking to me, have a great evening."
The devil worshiper at Barnes and Noble.....Morris at work every morning....Johnny at the bus station.....and now Michael....all have one thing in common. They know of Jesus, but they don't believe in him. They believe in love, but they don't believe in redemption. They believe in the historical Jesus, but they don't believe in the Word. They believe that they have Jesus, but he MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IN THEIR LIVES.
No fairy tale ending....no amazing conversion....like many of the other people I've talked to about Jesus, he'll accept Jesus as a good man, but not as savior....the Bible is a good book....but not something to be taken too seriously.
These basic concepts are things that my life is built on. They are the core of who I am, and they are the motivation behind much of what I do. How do I convey who Jesus is and how he can change them? Street evangelism is a hard thing. I don't like it...but I also can't stand walking past someone who is headed to Hell....as if everything is okay.
I guess it's not really my job to get frustrated....this is the Lord's work...he will see it completed...all I can do is offer myself as an instrument.
4/24/2008
Freedom
Do you see the battle? Can you hear the noise?
The blood of martyrs cries out to deaf ears,
The countryside turned into patchwork with the bodies of saints.
Cries of anguish tempered only by a whisper of hope,
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Are you still in bondage? Can you see the light?
Prison doors are unlocked, broken chains fall all around.
The ones who lurked in the shadows have come into the light,
All that they owe has been wiped clean.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Do you see the sin? Can you smell the poison?
The harlot has devoured many, her words are empty and vile.
Her victims left disillusioned, a bitter taste in their mouths,
Their disgrace has become the word of their testimony.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Are you weary of your burden? Can you taste defeat?
The fatherless are desolate, no one can take them in.
Broken and lifeless they fall without a sound,
With determination in their eyes they stand once more.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Do you know the one who saves? Can you feel his love?
The King of kings and Lord of lords is coming.
He will make all things new, in his presence there is peace.
Our hope is in that day, hold on 'til then, with
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
The blood of martyrs cries out to deaf ears,
The countryside turned into patchwork with the bodies of saints.
Cries of anguish tempered only by a whisper of hope,
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Are you still in bondage? Can you see the light?
Prison doors are unlocked, broken chains fall all around.
The ones who lurked in the shadows have come into the light,
All that they owe has been wiped clean.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Do you see the sin? Can you smell the poison?
The harlot has devoured many, her words are empty and vile.
Her victims left disillusioned, a bitter taste in their mouths,
Their disgrace has become the word of their testimony.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Are you weary of your burden? Can you taste defeat?
The fatherless are desolate, no one can take them in.
Broken and lifeless they fall without a sound,
With determination in their eyes they stand once more.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
Do you know the one who saves? Can you feel his love?
The King of kings and Lord of lords is coming.
He will make all things new, in his presence there is peace.
Our hope is in that day, hold on 'til then, with
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM
4/23/2008
Chi-town!!
I had a wonderful weekend. I was in Chicago with Jeremy and Kelley......and Anna Z. came for a few days too. Ballet Magnificat was at Moody this weekend as well. We got to see the Hiding Place (Deidre....my roommate....was in the show). I also got to go to church with Jeremy (which I loved!) and I went to classes....and chapel.....and met his friends.....it was pretty sweet. We even went out on our first dinner date! It was a lot of fun to get dressed up and go out.....but we both felt a little goofy....oh well.
I throughly enjoyed it!
Here's a few pictures.
I throughly enjoyed it!
Here's a few pictures.
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