Isn't scripture amazing? It's the only thing in the world that can truly calm my fears and give me hope. It's so easy to try and make other people/things/relationships satisfy my desire for words that can calm and heal.
A few weeks ago I was having a rough day, and ended up calling about five people to reassure me, tell me that everything was going to be okay.....ect. When I finished talking, I realized that I was just as upset and empty as before. The Lord spoke so clearly to me and said, "Julie, my words are words of life, no one else can satisfy."
I've held that in my heart since then and repeat it to myself and other often, "His words are words of life, no one else can satisfy."
I told you guys about the study of the gospels that I've been doing lately, but sometimes I need to read other things as well. I hadn't read the Psalms in a while (I was on this kick for a while that the Psalms were for people who couldn't handle the hard stuff in scripture....I'm retarded....they're just as much a part of the Bible as anything else!) Anyway, Psalm 34 really encouraged me. I hope it will speak to you as well.
I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.
Amen.
-Julie
12/07/2007
12/04/2007
His name shall be called....
Who is Jesus?
Is he a beautiful man with long brown hair and loving eyes? Is he a battered corpse hanging from a cross? Is he a tiny baby lying in a manger? Is he a warrior coming down on the clouds of heaven? Who is this man that I am so devoted to?
Those were the questions that I was asking myself about a month ago, so I decided to do a biographical study of Jesus. I've been going through the gospels trying to see what Jesus was like. I'm trying to understand his personality, his attitude, his mind set...everything that made him who he was. I'm doing this because I want to be more like him. I want to understand how he lived his life so that I can follow that. It's been awesome! I know him as Lord and Savior....I'm learning to know him as Provider and Master.....and now I want to know him as friend and lover. He's patient and kind and loving, but not a push over! He has a passion and love for people that is incredible (no surprise there I guess). He fears nothing. He's very wise, but doesn't lord it over people....he teaches them so that those that want to hear can understand. Even though he's kind, he's not afraid to speak against those that are doing wrong. He has a soft spot for children, widows, orphans, prostitutes and tax collectors. He prefers the company of the "unsophisticated" fishermen to that of the rich and powerful leaders. He lives simply, no pomp and circumstance. He LOVES his father.
There's a lot more to learn! This is awesome, I want to know him more.
Love you all!
Is he a beautiful man with long brown hair and loving eyes? Is he a battered corpse hanging from a cross? Is he a tiny baby lying in a manger? Is he a warrior coming down on the clouds of heaven? Who is this man that I am so devoted to?
Those were the questions that I was asking myself about a month ago, so I decided to do a biographical study of Jesus. I've been going through the gospels trying to see what Jesus was like. I'm trying to understand his personality, his attitude, his mind set...everything that made him who he was. I'm doing this because I want to be more like him. I want to understand how he lived his life so that I can follow that. It's been awesome! I know him as Lord and Savior....I'm learning to know him as Provider and Master.....and now I want to know him as friend and lover. He's patient and kind and loving, but not a push over! He has a passion and love for people that is incredible (no surprise there I guess). He fears nothing. He's very wise, but doesn't lord it over people....he teaches them so that those that want to hear can understand. Even though he's kind, he's not afraid to speak against those that are doing wrong. He has a soft spot for children, widows, orphans, prostitutes and tax collectors. He prefers the company of the "unsophisticated" fishermen to that of the rich and powerful leaders. He lives simply, no pomp and circumstance. He LOVES his father.
There's a lot more to learn! This is awesome, I want to know him more.
Love you all!
12/02/2007
'Tis the season
I LOVE the Christmas season. The lights, the bells, cookies, carols, candles, church services, time with friends and family....mhmmmm, definitely one of my favorite parts of the year!
The best thing about being a Christian is understanding the true meaning of Christmas. Sure it's a pagan holiday....yes, I know, Jesus wasn't REALLY born on December 25th....but isn't it wonderful to have a time of year that makes it easy to spark conversations about Christ? With all the hustle and bustle of Christmas, most of us come into contact with a lot of people we only see once or twice a year....and all the traditions of Christmas point toward Christ, making it easier to share about him. People are a little more open to hearing about Christianity if it has to do with a baby in a manger....it's a great way to get your foot in the door so that you can share, not only about the manger, but about the cross and the empty grave!
We have another show tomorrow, and another on Thursday....and then one Friday, two Saturday and two Sunday....talk about busy! I'm glad though, it's good to have something to focus on.
Oh, if you want to, you can check out our trainee pictures here
Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of how amazing this ministry is. It is such a privilege to be a part of Ballet Magnificat! How many people get to be a part of a full time ministry at my age? I am so blessed. This is a wonderful experience...something that I will treasure all my life. The Lord is letting me live out my childhood dream. Sooner or later, I'll move onto other dreams, as this one fades into a memory, but I never want to forget how blessed I am. I prayed for this everyday since I was eleven...and prayed to be a ballerina for years before that. I begged God to allow me the privilege of being a trainee with Ballet Magnificat. At this time last year I was sending in my audition video...and praying diligently that God would let me come here. Some say that God doesn't answer pray....or that he always asks you to do something you don't want to do...not true. God gave me the desire of my heart, but not for the reasons I thought. I thought I wanted to be a prima ballerina, to dance for huge audiences, to have perfect technique, to be on T.V., to travel the world. It turns out that God's idea of a ballerina is quite different. He brought me here not to be a star, but to be a servant....to learn what it means to live for Christ EVERY day, despite hours of dancing, working, exhaustion and fatigue. Instead of signing my name on programs for adoring fans, I'm signing His name on hearts as I reach out to the "least of these" with Christ's love. It's not a life of glamor, tiaras and tutus...no, it's not what I thought it would be....it's better.
I wonder what God is preparing me for? What are all these hours of working, growing, praying, learning and stretching for? I don't think he's preparing me for the company (my heart has changed from that, and I think it's the Lord's gentle persuasion.) Where is he taking me? What will I be doing? I'm not stressed out about it at all, I'm completely peaceful. How could I be upset when, no matter what, I get to live out the rest of my days hand in hand with the man I love with all my heart? My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
The best thing about being a Christian is understanding the true meaning of Christmas. Sure it's a pagan holiday....yes, I know, Jesus wasn't REALLY born on December 25th....but isn't it wonderful to have a time of year that makes it easy to spark conversations about Christ? With all the hustle and bustle of Christmas, most of us come into contact with a lot of people we only see once or twice a year....and all the traditions of Christmas point toward Christ, making it easier to share about him. People are a little more open to hearing about Christianity if it has to do with a baby in a manger....it's a great way to get your foot in the door so that you can share, not only about the manger, but about the cross and the empty grave!
We have another show tomorrow, and another on Thursday....and then one Friday, two Saturday and two Sunday....talk about busy! I'm glad though, it's good to have something to focus on.
Oh, if you want to, you can check out our trainee pictures here
Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of how amazing this ministry is. It is such a privilege to be a part of Ballet Magnificat! How many people get to be a part of a full time ministry at my age? I am so blessed. This is a wonderful experience...something that I will treasure all my life. The Lord is letting me live out my childhood dream. Sooner or later, I'll move onto other dreams, as this one fades into a memory, but I never want to forget how blessed I am. I prayed for this everyday since I was eleven...and prayed to be a ballerina for years before that. I begged God to allow me the privilege of being a trainee with Ballet Magnificat. At this time last year I was sending in my audition video...and praying diligently that God would let me come here. Some say that God doesn't answer pray....or that he always asks you to do something you don't want to do...not true. God gave me the desire of my heart, but not for the reasons I thought. I thought I wanted to be a prima ballerina, to dance for huge audiences, to have perfect technique, to be on T.V., to travel the world. It turns out that God's idea of a ballerina is quite different. He brought me here not to be a star, but to be a servant....to learn what it means to live for Christ EVERY day, despite hours of dancing, working, exhaustion and fatigue. Instead of signing my name on programs for adoring fans, I'm signing His name on hearts as I reach out to the "least of these" with Christ's love. It's not a life of glamor, tiaras and tutus...no, it's not what I thought it would be....it's better.
I wonder what God is preparing me for? What are all these hours of working, growing, praying, learning and stretching for? I don't think he's preparing me for the company (my heart has changed from that, and I think it's the Lord's gentle persuasion.) Where is he taking me? What will I be doing? I'm not stressed out about it at all, I'm completely peaceful. How could I be upset when, no matter what, I get to live out the rest of my days hand in hand with the man I love with all my heart? My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
11/28/2007
Joy to the world!
Today was completely amazing.
We performed at a nursing home in downtown Jackson (not the nicest place ever). Thanks very much to those of you that were praying! I could feel the effects.
Nursing homes in general break my heart. I'm sure there are some very nice ones, with wonderful people (this is NOT to put down anyone who has a loved one in a nursing home). However, the one we were at today was very depressing. It was run down, filthy, smelly....not a nice place. We had the chance to perform "Unveiled Hope"....which is our ballet about the end times, and Jesus' return. We also performed our trainee Christmas program. The space was VERY small, and technically, the dancing wasn't that great (not to put the dancers down, they were beautiful, but you can only do so much when you have four dancers side by side in a twelve foot wide space.) Anyway, the performance wasn't that impressive, but the Lord certainly used it! The residents LOVED it!
After the performance I talked with a lovely lady named Evana. She was in her 90's...and was pretty shy. However, after a few minutes of awkward pauses, she began to open up. I found out that she her entire family had passed away....except one son. She still wore her wedding ring, because in her heart she was still married (I know, sniff, sniff). She was SO precious. She really appreciated us coming and dancing, because it gave her a chance to take her mind off of her dismal daily routine. I really loved talking with her.
Okay, so here's my thought....I should go visit her! It's a lot easier said then done, but I figure, if I tell you all, then I'll feel more compelled to do it (sad I know, but accountability works really well for me.) Anyway, I'm going to try and visit her at least once before I go home for Christmas. Do I have the time? Not really. But that doesn't matter.....spending time with people is the MOST important thing I could possibly do. The laundry and the cooking will get done eventually!
We performed at a nursing home in downtown Jackson (not the nicest place ever). Thanks very much to those of you that were praying! I could feel the effects.
Nursing homes in general break my heart. I'm sure there are some very nice ones, with wonderful people (this is NOT to put down anyone who has a loved one in a nursing home). However, the one we were at today was very depressing. It was run down, filthy, smelly....not a nice place. We had the chance to perform "Unveiled Hope"....which is our ballet about the end times, and Jesus' return. We also performed our trainee Christmas program. The space was VERY small, and technically, the dancing wasn't that great (not to put the dancers down, they were beautiful, but you can only do so much when you have four dancers side by side in a twelve foot wide space.) Anyway, the performance wasn't that impressive, but the Lord certainly used it! The residents LOVED it!
After the performance I talked with a lovely lady named Evana. She was in her 90's...and was pretty shy. However, after a few minutes of awkward pauses, she began to open up. I found out that she her entire family had passed away....except one son. She still wore her wedding ring, because in her heart she was still married (I know, sniff, sniff). She was SO precious. She really appreciated us coming and dancing, because it gave her a chance to take her mind off of her dismal daily routine. I really loved talking with her.
Okay, so here's my thought....I should go visit her! It's a lot easier said then done, but I figure, if I tell you all, then I'll feel more compelled to do it (sad I know, but accountability works really well for me.) Anyway, I'm going to try and visit her at least once before I go home for Christmas. Do I have the time? Not really. But that doesn't matter.....spending time with people is the MOST important thing I could possibly do. The laundry and the cooking will get done eventually!
11/27/2007
Complex
I think I have a complex.
I have the "I'm not worthy of Jesus" complex.
We've been over this before. Why can't I just believe his grace? I want SO badly to be the perfect christian....to spend tons of time in the word and prayer, to be encouraging to others, to share Christ with everyone I meet. When I don't reach those goals (on a daily basis) I get SO frustrated! I think I'm focusing too much on works, and not enough on grace.
I had a conversation with God that was really eye opening. You see, I have a hard time praying for things that I need, or people that I really care about, if I haven't spent time praising the Lord first. I don't want to treat God like a vending machine, or a genie....which is good, but I think I take it a little too far. I'll get frustrated with myself while I pray, and then I just give up.....which is dumb.
Today I was getting frustrated, and this was the conversation:
Me: "Lord, I don't understand why I can't love you and serve you like I want to....I want to be your best friend, but how can I when I'm constantly ignoring you in favor of other things?"
God: "You're right Julie, you're not my best friend....you're my daughter."
Silence.
What an amazing picture that is. My relationship with God isn't like my earthly friendships (which have ups and downs...you lose touch....they come and go). He's like my dad. No matter what, he loves me. If I ignore him, if I disobey him, if I fail him....he still loves me. I can't do ANYTHING to separate myself from that love. I could be a total idiot, and he would still lay down his life for me. That is incredible.
How can I deserve that kind of love? I can't. It's grace, and grace alone. That grace never ceases to amaze me. So, in return, I will continue to try my hardest to serve him, to love him, to follow him, not because I'm a good person, but because of the grace he has shown to me.
I have the "I'm not worthy of Jesus" complex.
We've been over this before. Why can't I just believe his grace? I want SO badly to be the perfect christian....to spend tons of time in the word and prayer, to be encouraging to others, to share Christ with everyone I meet. When I don't reach those goals (on a daily basis) I get SO frustrated! I think I'm focusing too much on works, and not enough on grace.
I had a conversation with God that was really eye opening. You see, I have a hard time praying for things that I need, or people that I really care about, if I haven't spent time praising the Lord first. I don't want to treat God like a vending machine, or a genie....which is good, but I think I take it a little too far. I'll get frustrated with myself while I pray, and then I just give up.....which is dumb.
Today I was getting frustrated, and this was the conversation:
Me: "Lord, I don't understand why I can't love you and serve you like I want to....I want to be your best friend, but how can I when I'm constantly ignoring you in favor of other things?"
God: "You're right Julie, you're not my best friend....you're my daughter."
Silence.
What an amazing picture that is. My relationship with God isn't like my earthly friendships (which have ups and downs...you lose touch....they come and go). He's like my dad. No matter what, he loves me. If I ignore him, if I disobey him, if I fail him....he still loves me. I can't do ANYTHING to separate myself from that love. I could be a total idiot, and he would still lay down his life for me. That is incredible.
How can I deserve that kind of love? I can't. It's grace, and grace alone. That grace never ceases to amaze me. So, in return, I will continue to try my hardest to serve him, to love him, to follow him, not because I'm a good person, but because of the grace he has shown to me.
11/25/2007
There and back again....!
Hey everyone!
I'm back in MS....! I miss home already, but I am looking forward to the next few weeks of dancing before I head home again for Christmas.
In short, my time at home was amazing. Time with my wonderful family was way over due. I was also thrilled to enjoy time with Jeremy and his amazing family. All in all, it was the "most shortest, but most treasured" five days I can remember. I wish I had more time to spend with all those at home. However, I am doing really well, right here, in the center of God's will. Praise him.
Right now I'm doing wonderfully. I'm looking forward to dance and work tomorrow, and also looking forward to seeing my, "Mississippi family"....the roommates should be back soon! I am going to really work at not pining away for home. What will that do anyway? The only thing I really NEED is Jesus, and he is right here with me. I am so, so glad that the one I love the most is constantly with me! I don't know what I would do if he wasn't. God is so good to me! I was so privileged to have the time and funds to go home. I cannot stop thanking him for his goodness to me.
I'd really appreciate prayer as I head into our busiest season of the year here at B. Mag. I don't want to get so caught up in the "clutter of Christmas" that I lose sight of the opportunities right before me. I want to witness at work, I want to work on loving Jesus more, I want to continue to deepen my relationships with those back home, I want to be a better example to my friends at dance, I want to be a caring, encouraging roommate.....I want to know Jesus more intimately then I ever have before. These goals are what I want to focus on.....I don't want to get too caught up in self pity, stress, sadness, discouragement, or whatever else may come my way. I know that my armor is the word of God, my counselor is the Holy Spirit, my protection is your prayers, and my strength is Jesus Christ.
Praise the Lord for his goodness!
I'm back in MS....! I miss home already, but I am looking forward to the next few weeks of dancing before I head home again for Christmas.
In short, my time at home was amazing. Time with my wonderful family was way over due. I was also thrilled to enjoy time with Jeremy and his amazing family. All in all, it was the "most shortest, but most treasured" five days I can remember. I wish I had more time to spend with all those at home. However, I am doing really well, right here, in the center of God's will. Praise him.
Right now I'm doing wonderfully. I'm looking forward to dance and work tomorrow, and also looking forward to seeing my, "Mississippi family"....the roommates should be back soon! I am going to really work at not pining away for home. What will that do anyway? The only thing I really NEED is Jesus, and he is right here with me. I am so, so glad that the one I love the most is constantly with me! I don't know what I would do if he wasn't. God is so good to me! I was so privileged to have the time and funds to go home. I cannot stop thanking him for his goodness to me.
I'd really appreciate prayer as I head into our busiest season of the year here at B. Mag. I don't want to get so caught up in the "clutter of Christmas" that I lose sight of the opportunities right before me. I want to witness at work, I want to work on loving Jesus more, I want to continue to deepen my relationships with those back home, I want to be a better example to my friends at dance, I want to be a caring, encouraging roommate.....I want to know Jesus more intimately then I ever have before. These goals are what I want to focus on.....I don't want to get too caught up in self pity, stress, sadness, discouragement, or whatever else may come my way. I know that my armor is the word of God, my counselor is the Holy Spirit, my protection is your prayers, and my strength is Jesus Christ.
Praise the Lord for his goodness!
11/19/2007
Michigan!
I am SO excited to be going home to Michigan! I'm heading out tomorrow evening on the train with my good friend Amy. We're going as far as Chicago together (from which she's heading on to Iowa) and I get to meet up with Jeremy and Kelley! From Chicago we're heading back to Michigan.....and home.
I haven't been home in nearly four months....I miss it! I can't wait!
Just to let you guys know, today was awesome. I always tell you when I'm frustrated, so I thought I'd share some excitement with you! It was one of those days I just want to treasure. I got to spend the whole day with Jesus. Yes, I still worked, I still went to ballet, I still cooked and cleaned....no, I didn't spend the whole day in a beautiful field reading the Bible (though that does sound appealing). I just lived normal life.....with Jesus. He was my first thought, and continued to be my focus all day long. It was awesome. I don't get any credit, because it wasn't by my own power. I am so thankful that the Lord helped me to focus on him. Life is so much better, so much easier this way. I have these days ever so often....and I hope that as I mature in the Lord, that these days become more frequent.
Thank you Jesus! I love you!
-Julie
I haven't been home in nearly four months....I miss it! I can't wait!
Just to let you guys know, today was awesome. I always tell you when I'm frustrated, so I thought I'd share some excitement with you! It was one of those days I just want to treasure. I got to spend the whole day with Jesus. Yes, I still worked, I still went to ballet, I still cooked and cleaned....no, I didn't spend the whole day in a beautiful field reading the Bible (though that does sound appealing). I just lived normal life.....with Jesus. He was my first thought, and continued to be my focus all day long. It was awesome. I don't get any credit, because it wasn't by my own power. I am so thankful that the Lord helped me to focus on him. Life is so much better, so much easier this way. I have these days ever so often....and I hope that as I mature in the Lord, that these days become more frequent.
Thank you Jesus! I love you!
-Julie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)