Phillipians 3:7-11

Blessed be your name

2009-01-24T09:38:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone!!

Let's see.....my last post was to announce my engagement to the most amazing man on the face of the earth....and now, I will fill you in on what happened after that.

After another week of time well spent with family and friends, Jeremy and I headed here to Mississippi. Instead of taking the "normal" route we drove to Nashville to spend time with Abby, one of our good friends. After that we took the Natchez Trace (an old indian path turned into a country road that took us across the most beautiful parts of Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi. It was SO much fun! We stopped at waterfalls, and scenic over looks and things like that along the way, which made the trip very enjoyable.

The next day I had to return to dance, so Jeremy and I got to announce our engagement and celebrate with everyone at Ballet Mag.

Thursday morning Jeremy left for Chicago....and Saturday morning he headed off to Israel! If you haven't bee following his story, I would highly recommend it. You can access his blog here.

I want to start off by making sure that you all know that I am THRILLED that Jeremy is in Israel. I am fully convinced that this is what the Lord wants for him right now. The things that he's learning, the places he's visiting, the people he's meeting are/will make a huge impact on his life for the kingdom. I'm SO excited about that!

However, that doesn't necessarily make life easy right now. This last week was ROUGH. Having him in Israel isn't really the hardest thing.....it's not being able to be with him. I'm called to be here, he's called to be there, and that's just the way it is. In my mind, it seems better for us to minister and learn together....but that's not what the Lord thinks is best (and his plan is always the best).

The Lord is so good. He always uses these situations for his good, for his glory. He is WORTHY of all of my praise, no matter how I feel about any situation. My life cannot be lived by circumstance. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Period. No qualifiers. Whether I am rich, or poor....sick or healthy....joyful or miserable....BLESSED BE HIS NAME. That is not an easy thing to say, and even more difficult to live out.....but it's the cry of my heart. I want to bless the Lord at all times, I want to have his praise be continually on my lips. Lord, please use this for your glory! Pain is worthless if it doesn't draw me closer to you. Not for my sake, but for the sake of your name and your glory.

Amen??

Mrs. Jeremy Slager

2009-01-01T17:00:00.002-06:00

This is the story of our engagement, as told by my amazing fiance. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! (Well.....not quite ;-)

Love,
Julie

Once upon a time.......a long time ago....or last night.....

Happy New Year just doesn't cut it. Elated New Year? Best New Year ever? (I forgot that it was the New Year I was so excited?) For anyone who hasn't heard, I have stepped out of the single world and into the world of an engaged man. I am Julianna Rubio's fiance. I'm sure you all want to hear the story, so I'll try and make a picture version of it so it feels like you were actually there.

Wednesday Morning--6:45 AM December 31st.
I didn't get much sleep. I had asked Julianna's parents on Monday night, and hadn't thought that I would propose quite so soon. But the night before I decided that this was the day, which meant that I got NO SLEEP. I woke up and drove to Meijers to pick up a bouquet of red roses (because every engagement needs roses). So I was planning on going to work at 8, so I made a card that said, "I love you--Don't make plans after 4:30," left it on her car (scraped the ice off her car), then went home to figure out how to do the rest.

Wednesday Afternoon--12:30 PM December 31st.
Made another card which said, "I still LOVE you--we've had a long week, but I love you even more. You deserve a special night. Wear something casual, something stunning, and something you can stand in the snow in." I dropped it off in her room and went home to finish getting everything ready.

Julianna and I always make dinner together for our dates, so I transformed my room from disaster to romantic restaurant. I had a gold tablecloth down, with red ribbons and flowers and candles and the nicest china out.

Wednesday Evening 4:45 PM December 31st.
Picked Julianna up at her house (she was stunning as promised). We made dinner and I completely surprised her with my room transformation. I left on her plate a card which said, "I will ALWAYS love you." I didn't know if this would hint at my later intentions or not, but she didn't catch on...thankfully. My mom had painted two pictures for us, one of each of us praying, and they were on the table as well. We had a lovely meal, and we were both lost in each others eyes the whole time...(awww).

Wednesday Night 6:30 PM December 31st.
The last part of the date was a surprise. I had put a sled in the back of the car, because Julianna had never been sledding before (!!!). Meanwhile, her best friend was preparing the top of the sledding hill for us, but was running 20 minutes late. She called while we were on our way, and I needed to kill 20 minutes. I remembered that the Jackson Co. Fairgrounds were having a Christmas lights festival, but didn't remember if I had money or if they were still going. Fortunately, it worked out. I didn't know this, but Julie had been dropping hints all break that she wanted to go...did not pick that up. Oops.

Wednesday Night 7:00 PM December 31st.
Off to go sledding! As we pull up to Cascades, Julianna remembered that this was where, 1 1/2 years ago I asked her to be my girlfriend (but I convinced her that we were still going sledding). Kelley (her best friend) had finished setting it all up, and as we came to the top, we saw a circle of candles with all the snow shoveled out and rose petals down in the middle. Julie thought it was a seance, so we went for a closer look. It might have been the bouquet of roses in the middle that tipped her off that this was planned. We walked into the circle together, I pulled out my Ipod and speakers and played Elvis Presley's "I Can't Help Falling in Love." (which is the song we danced to when we first started dating). We danced, enjoying the time we had together. When the song finished, I said, "Julianna Rubio, we started dating 1 1/2 years ago, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I will always love you. Will you marry me?" Reply: yes...yes of course....)FJKDLJFKDSJ)(@!$U)UFDDXJC(@U$@!$$KNCNDEF:KJE:KXMNCMNF:KEJ:LKFJN:LKJf (gasp) jfeja;3P#Jp;IF:jr;ij;adjf;iehan;kdjf;akj. It was all a blur. We sledded down the hill as a newly engaged couple. This was the face I saw (!?!?!?!)

Wednesday Night--7:45 PM December 31st.
My new fiancee and I went to my brothers apartment to see everyone there. After the screaming and dancing, I pulled out my last surprise. I had compiled all the emails we had sent before we started dating into a book entitled, "Beginnings." At the end of the book it said, "1 Year, 6 Months, and 11 Days later" with a picture of us at our formal dinner underneath it, and pictures of all the cards and roses next to it. And that is how Jeremy Slager and Julianna Rubio became engaged.

January 1st, 2009 until Death Do Us Part
Eternal bliss.

Ransom Captive Israel

2008-12-15T10:59:00.003-06:00

Israel has been on my mind a lot lately. Omega (one of our ballet companies) just went a couple of weeks ago. Jeremy is headed there next semester. My precious grandmother and grandfather on my dad's side have taught me a lot about Judaism.....the Jewish people.....and the country of Israel. They are Messianic Jews, and so they have a very special place in their hearts for Israel....as do I.

The Jews are the apple of God's eye.....his first love. We, the gentiles, are the new comers, the adopted child of GREAT price. He loves us both....and none of us can come to the Father except by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, his only son. There is no replacement theology in His mind, just two lost children....and he deals with us differently.

As believing Gentiles, it is our responsibility to pray and intercede for....not scorn and turn away from....our lost brother, Israel.

This is my new favorite Christmas carol. The words alone make me want to weep. I can hardly sing this song without being on my knees crying out for the nation of Israel. This song beautifully displays God's heart for his people.

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things far and nigh;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

I Believe

2008-12-11T10:01:00.003-06:00

It is hardcore snowing in MISSISSIPPI. Just thought I'd let you know. I'm one of the few dancers who knows how to drive in the snow.....hence I and my fellow northerners are the DDs until the weather clears!

I spent yesterday afternoon at Baptist Children's hospital reading books to sick kids, praying for them and their families and just simply holding them. It was awesome. Ms. Cassandra (my Trainee director), myself, and my friend Jade decided to go and spread Jesus to these kids.....and I think I was more touched then they were.

I don't understand why Jesus lets little ones suffer. I don't know why he doesn't prove himself mighty and just act. I don't understand why God let's me struggle instead of fixing my heart RIGHT NOW. I don't understand him, the magnitude of his plan, or the responsibility of being his ambassador.

But I believe in Him. I believe that he has power.....because I've seen it. I believe that he is good.....because I've tasted it. I believe that he is LOVE....because I've felt it.

There are many things that I don't understand.....but that's why this is faith. "Faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Yes, there are a lot of things that don't make sense. There is so much in my journey with the Lord that makes NO sense! But the bottom line is that I believe in a baby in a manger....a man on a cross.....and a king who is coming IN GLORY. To HIM be all the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Love,
Julie

Psalm 37

2008-12-03T21:36:00.003-06:00

Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
over the man who carries out evil devices!
Psalm 37:3-7

That is one of the most beautiful promises in scripture. Trust. Commit. Delight. Befriend faithfulness. The Lord WILL act. He IS faithful. Amen?? That's it. Just pressing on toward the goal. Love. Faith. Hope. We must fix our eyes on Jesus. Perseverance. Trust. Diligence. We will win the battle. Struggle. Surrender. Repent. Continue. We fight the good fight of faith.....and we win.

What are you doing today?? Are you actively following the Lord? Is your faith active? Are you trusting the Lord in your actions, not just your words?? Are you delighting in him? Or is faith a drudgery?? Are you finding yourself trying to do good in your own strength? Surrender. He WILL supply. You must first surrender. His yolk IS easy, his burden IS light. Cast all your anxieties on HIM because he cares for you. Be joyful always, patient in affliction, fervent in prayer. It is a DELIGHT to be with the Lord......getting the desires of your heart is just a bonus.

This life is so temporary. The words of the Psalmist are absolutely true:

Your presence is too wonderful for words!

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Even a small sparrow makes a home near your altar! A young swallow makes a nest for herself in a place near to you, El Elyon, God Most High!

Blessed are those who dwell in your house!! They have no task but to praise you.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who pursue you with their whole hearts.

Even in the hard times they rejoice. The Valley of Baca is a place of springs! The desert times are as an oasis because you are there with them.

They do not become weak, but go from strength to strength until you take them home.

Father, hear me, this is my one desire! Please grant this to me, because I am your daughter, look upon me with favor.

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For you oh Lord are beautiful and terrible, awesome and to be feared.
You are the giver of all good things; you bless those that love you.

O my El Shaddai, Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you!
Psalm 84 (paraphrase)

Life in the real world

2008-11-22T14:16:00.009-06:00

Hey y'all.

Where to start? I haven't written in a while......which was actually intentional. There have been a million thoughts swirling all around and inside of me lately, and somehow I couldn't quite write any of them down.

Let's see. Work?? Work is good. I really enjoy my job. It DEFINITELY has good and bad days, but overall it's awesome. I love people watching (not the creepy kind! I just find humans fascinating, I like to study how people work). So anyway, being a server definitely lends itself to that. I have AMPLE opportunity to share about Jesus, I find myself talking about Him a lot, because there are always questions as to why I'm so different. I love talking to them about Jesus. I'm blessed with the ability to talk to people easily, making friends has never been a problem....and it's a very useful tool in evangelism. The Lord has really given me a heart for them....I want them to know Jesus! It's exciting....but not always that easy......

This is what I hate. It's SO EASY to become like them. The bad language, the coarse humor, the racism....it's much easier to join in then it is to resist. The fact of the matter is that it is exhausting to stand up for Jesus. Being in the "real world" is challenging. I've never been in THIS much of a secular enviroment before. Even last year, my boss was a "christian" and most of my coworkers were somewhat sympathetic to christianity. Not so with this crowd. There are many hurting people. Some involved in cults, some in homosexuality, some are single moms, some do drugs.....all of them get drunk on the weekends. It's funny how much they want to see me fail! They're waiting for the day that I cuss someone out, or take a cigarette, or sleep with one of our coworkers, or do ANYTHING....big or small.....that would make them feel better about their lifestyle. They want me to be okay with how they act....and it's hard to disagree in love! I either want to tell them that they're crazy, or I want to sweep it under the rug.....it's hard to stand for my values, but still relate to them and love them.

I have to be on my knees, I have to be in the Word.....or I would be easily swept away by the sin that surrounds me. Danielle (my roommate) is wonderful. It's really nice to have someone else their for moral support!

So, is it too late for me to say that I really feel for my friends that went through public school?? I never gave you guys enough credit. It's a hard thing to be immersed in all that crap everyday. I see now why many fell away....and I have a lot of respect for those of you that didn't.

I need more of you Jesus. More grace, more love, more strength, more passion, more self control, more ability to serve you.....to reach out to the lost.

Love,
Julie

Prayer

2008-11-08T15:00:00.003-06:00

Mmmmmmm...."oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear! All because we do not carry...everything to God in prayer!"

Can I get an amen??

I'm such a dummy sometimes. I mean really, why do I neglect prayer? Of all the things in the whole world, it's my favorite. No kidding. I'd rather spend time in prayer then do anything else....and YET, it's the one thing that always seems to be pushed aside. An hour spent totally alone with the Lord is SO refreshing. It restores my heart, my mind, my body, my joy....so wonderful....yet I find it difficult to make time for it. I need to prioritize my time better.

Anyway, I had a really wonderful time with the Lord today. I sat out on my balcony, listened to some music, and just talked to the Lord. Wonderful. Much to my surprise (and amusement) I opened my eyes about 30 minutes into my prayer time, and two precious little kids were standing below my balcony, jaws dropped, with a puzzled look on their faces. I smiled, waved, and went back to praying. I can hardly believe how captivated I was by Him. An hour went by like a minute. SO WONDERFUL. It was one of those times where I really felt like I got to pray through everything, and got to prayer for everyone that I wanted to. It is SUCH a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. The freedom and joy found in casting your cares on him is immeasurable. I am so thankful for prayer.

Thank you Jesus, that we can come to God, through you, our high priest. It is such a privilege. Amen.

Love,
Julie

Election Day

2008-11-04T16:08:00.004-06:00

Father, your will be done. We want godly leaders....but you know what's best for this country. You choose the man you want, you put him in the white house.....and we will remember that you are still our king. No matter what.

Isaiah 40 (select parts)

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?

Who has understood the mind [d] of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?

Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

"To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

It's all about Jesus......no really, it is.

2008-11-02T23:05:00.002-06:00

I had quite the weekend. I got to share the gospel twice (once to a Muslim man, once to a drunk customer), I was robbed and I (along with my roommates) drove a drunk coworker home from work (he was hardcore drunk, throwing up and finally passing out in the back seat of Megan's car...Dani and I prayed...). It was all very surreal. I don't really want to tell you the whole story, because that would bring credit to me. It makes me sound like some sort of hero, or saint, or something really amazing and cool.....and that's a bold face lie.

Lately I've been struggling. I don't "feel" close to the Lord....I crave more time with him in prayer and in the Word, but haven't done anything about it. I go to prayer meetings, but mainly out of obligation. I've been frustrated and even mildly depressed about dance. Work is going well, but it's not without its frustrations. I've been pretty consumed with myself, my own emotions and desires, my own relationship with the Lord....This is not a pity party, the point is, I'm not a super christian.

It's all about Jesus.....no really, it is.

He's done some incredible works during these last 24 hours.....and I just happened to be the vessel. It amazes me. I didn't go out looking for evangelism opportunities...I literally walked right into them. I wish you guys could see how beaten down I've been lately. I feel like the walking testimony for 2 Cor 12:9-10 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I'm in awe. Really Jesus?? Really?? You want to use me to share about you? I'm weak, I'm sinful, I'm not a good example......you want to use me?? Incomprehensible.

At the same time, it's strangely exciting. It's amazing to speak and know that it's not you, but He that lives inside you. Sometimes it's an almost out of body experience....yet completely natural...to react in such a Christ like way. It's just simply not me. Julianna Arwen Rubio does not have that much goodness, Jesus Christ of Nazareth does.

Just goes to show that it's not AT ALL about me. Yes, I need to follow the Word, I need to be in prayer, I need to be ready to evangelize at any moment....but when I am doing those things and I simply don't feel sufficient, his grace is more then enough.

Thank you Jesus....since I seem to forget so often, I'll say it again, it's all about you, it really is.

Hosea

2008-10-22T21:44:00.004-05:00

Hey y'all.

Well....I started this entry last week sometime.....I just never finished.

Last weekend Jeremy came down for a few days, and we had a marvelous time. We did a lot of different things, but one fun thing we did was go to see the movie Fireproof. For those that haven't seen it, it's EXCELLENT. Definitely a low budget film, but the message is AMAZING. It's about a married couple, and their marriage issues.....and how they work through them, to God's glory.

After going to see the movie, it made me think a lot about how God acts toward us. Actually, a similar story is told in the Bible....you can find it in the book of Isaiah. I've been studying Hosea these last couple of weeks. I love this story. It's sad, it's frustrating at times, but it shows the incredible, unwavering, immense, steadfast love of God.

Hosea was a prophet during a time when Israel had turned COMPLETELY away from the Lord. They were worshiping idols....prostituting themselves with other gods. The Lord was furious. He had chosen Israel to be his bride, his people, his one and only, and she turned her back on him. Heartbreaking.

In the past I've read that story and it seemed like God was so mean! The things he says to/about Israel are terrible. A few years of life experience, a little more wisdom, and having a relationship of my own have made me realize that all that God did was out of love. Yes, he was angry....but he wasn't being vengeful. He loved Israel SO much, that he let her go her own way. He knew that by letting her go, she would see how terrible life without him was, and she would return. All the things that happened to Israel were out of his GREAT love for her. He knew that the best way to pursue her, was to let her go. Yet he never let her leave his hand...he still had complete control, he knew exactly how much he would allow until he would restore her. He wasn't done with her, he continued to love and look after her. Many years later, he sent his only son to die for her...it wasn't about anger, it was all about love.

God does that in our lives as well. Once you know the Lord, once you have truly tasted his goodness, you can't enjoy sin. Oh you may, for a time, but God loves us SO much that he doesn't allow us to enjoy our sin for long! Those temporary pleasures always turn sour, and we are driven back into his ever loving, ever open arms. What great love! It hurts him to see us run from him, but he knows that letting us taste life without him is the best way to bring us back.....so he let's us go.....out of his great love.....all the while eagerly awaiting our return.

That's a beautiful picture of how marriage should be. I think that's why I loved Fireproof so much. That's the kind of love that a husband should have for his wife....and vice versa. So many people jump ship when things get tough. True love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, love NEVER fails."

Consider my servant ______.

2008-10-17T08:28:00.004-05:00

We've been talking about the names of God in my Bible study. This week we talked about "El Elyon" which translates "God most high". The names of God all speak to different attributes of his character.....they reveal him in different ways to us. I LOVE learning about this. I have this weird fixation on names. I love to find out what they mean, because many times they reveal a particular strength or character flaw in their bearer. When I have children I'm going to give them names that tell of the kind of person I want them to be. My parents did things that way (to some degree) and it's really cool.

Anyway, sorry, that was a bunny trail, that was not the point of this entry.

I wanted to talk about Job. Now, don't worry, I'm not going through anything terrible....usually that's when people fixate on his story.....I just find the way God is revealed in this story to be incredible. Take a look.

Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

Okay, stop. Look at who starts this conversation about Job. Satan doesn't want to pick on Job.....God brings him up. How amazing is that?? God, in his sovereignty knew that Job would stand up to what Satan was going to throw against him. HE KNEW. God wouldn't have said that if Job was going to fail....what a compliment!

What does that look like in my life?? When I face trials and hardships I'm tempted to ask why. This story makes it seem like that is DESIRABLE not only for the testing of my faith, but also because it shows that God knows that I will stand."Consider my servant Julie. There is no one on earth like her; she is blameless and upright, a woman who fears God and shuns evil." I want that to be true of me. What an amazing thing it would be to be complimented by the God of the universe....and for him to know and to trust you to stand....knowing all the while that your faith will bring him glory. That's not a prideful request. I want God to be glorified. I want him to know that I will stand against trials, for HIS namesake. It is for this very reason that the apostles in Acts 5 "left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." It is a privilege to suffer. It is a privilege to be one who God knows will stand.

Put your name in the blank...."Consider my servant ______." Does God think that you are worthy of suffering for his name? And when he does bring those trials, do you rejoice??

Love you all. Peace.

-Julie

SO many thoughts......SO little time.....

2008-10-12T23:01:00.002-05:00

So, this entry has no real topic....it's just a kaleidoscope of thoughts from the last week.

The loving nickname for the Ballet Magnificat Trainee program is the "B&B Boot camp".....and no, B&B does not stand for "bed and breakfast" it stands for "bible and ballet."

Lately, it's been more of the former, less of the other. The Lord has been challenging me to move to the "next level" in him. He is no longer letting the little things slide. No. They need to be cut out of my life. There is no more room for these "harmless" habits or personality defects.

He's also been asking me to step out of my comfort zone in terms of leading.....and following. I've been given a lot of responsibility here. I'm leading two prayer groups, one for my student bible study, one for the B. Mag intercession group. That is how he's challenging me to lead....I'm responsible to hear from him, to seek him, on the behalf of others. It's not just about my walk with the Lord, it's about following Christ so that others have an example to follow. Humbling. The other thing that he's been testing is my ability to follow. I don't always agree with the leaders here. I don't always like what the important people in my life have to say. NEVERTHELESS, I am still responsible to be humble and to accept correction. Just because God is asking me to lead in some areas, DOES NOT mean that I have it all together. I am under authority still....that's a hard balance sometimes. It's hard to switch from being the leader to the follower, but it's an important balance that I'll need for the rest of my life.

The other thought I've been having lately: I am so comfortable being an adult. I've always wanted to be one, really, since I was five I've wanted to be "all grown up".....it finally dawned on me the other day that I am one. Not that I have it all together, not that I'm done learning, not that at all....just that this is MY life and I'm living it. Last year I felt like a little kid playing dress up....like this wasn't really my life, it was just pretend. It's slowly dawned on me that this is my life, it's not a dress rehearsal. I enjoy it so much. The independence, the freedom to discover who I am, who God is, the joy of living life with the amazing girls here. This is a WONDERFUL phase of life, I love it.

Last thing: Come Lord Jesus, come! I've been thinking a lot about him coming back, I hope it's soon! I love this verse of the song, "You're beautiful" by Phil Wickham.

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing You're beautiful

Amen. Come Lord Jesus, come!

The things of earth will grow strangely dim.....

2008-10-05T14:28:00.003-05:00

.....in the light of his glory and grace.

Amen??

Why do we put so much hope in the things of this world?? Today the one that made an impression on me was the vanity of women. My goodness. Everyone at my church is dressed to the nines.....people hardly wear an outfit more then once......looking perfect is a good enough reason to be late to church.....what the heck?!?! There's something wrong with that.

It's not that I don't understand....I do. In and of myself, I'm in that race with everyone else. Who has the best hair? Who looks the cutest? Does she have the same shirt as me? Blah, blah, puke, blah.

However, because it is no longer I that live, but CHRIST lives in me, looking great is close to the bottom of my list. Women are so deceived. Why do we sacrifice time with the Lord, our attitude with our husbands, children, roommates and friends....and our God given resources, just to have something that doesn't matter? The Lord made women beautiful....period. All the extra frills and frivolous charms are vanity.

I'm not trying to be self righteous....really. I'm just frustrated. Ladies, if you want to be treated like more then just a pretty face.....then act like it! I'm all for looking pretty, it just can't be your focus. Getting angry over what you're wearing to church is just stupid. Who cares? God doesn't. If I ever get the chance to be a leader in a church, that's going to be a big deal to me. I want the elders to wear the same outfits (because they've given everything else to those in need). I don't want the worship team wearing all designer clothing (because the money could be better spent reaching the lost here and abroad). I don't want the youth group to shun kids that are wearing the WalMart brand jeans (because Jesus died for them just as much as he died for the Abercrombie model clones)......I don't want to create an atmosphere in which you feel ashamed to go to church if you don't have the latest and greatest! Women we should build each other up in the Lord, not compete for some imaginary title of "best looking girl at church."

Shame on us for that.

"And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace."

Galations 1:10

2008-10-02T00:08:00.002-05:00

Am I now seeking the approval of men? Or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ Jesus.

So, lately I have NOT been able to dance. At all. No, really, I've been terrible.....this is not false modesty.....I used to be able to dance much better then I have been dancing these last few weeks. Some of it is being out of shape, some is dancing with REALLY good dancers.....but a lot of it is the attitude of my heart.

I didn't realize it until yesterday, but there's been something ugly lurking in my heart and mind these past few weeks. I've been WAY too focused on the opinion of my teachers and peers (something I thought wouldn't happen to me, because I'm not focused on getting into the company). However, that's the truth. I was complaining to a friend about how bad I was, and how my talent for dance seemed to have left me.....she didn't respond the way I thought she would.

"Julie, why are you complaining?? Sounds to me like you're being refined. You always pray for the Lord to refine you, and now that he's doing it, you're complaining. The Lord is stretching you outside of what you are comfortable with, in order to make you rely on him. Are you learning humility? Selflessness? Are you learning to work for the LORD not for men?? Aren't those good things? WHY are you complaining??"

Mhhmm. Thanks for that.......tough love. I needed it, I really did. It was a hit to my pride and self indignation, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Especially because it was on the car ride to our first performance.

After that I spent some time in prayer...just pouring my heart out to the Lord and asking him to change me. I realized that I wanted people to see Jesus IN ME.....I wanted to glorify God with MY DANCING.....no. That's not how it works. I have to leave out the "me" part. I just want people to see Jesus......for God to be glorified, no matter what.

It's amazing what the Word, the Spirit, and a good friend can do for you. My attitude was transformed, almost instantly. My cares about other people, the teachers, the audience, my peers.....suddenly seemed ridiculous in the light of JESUS CHRIST, the son of the living God, and an opportunity to worship him with my whole body. The performance was awesome. I danced like a free woman. The chains of fear, doubt and discouragement were released....I felt like a different person.

Praise the Lord. Isn't that a cool testimony to HIM?? Isn't it amazing how he can change hearts (even stubborn ones!) God gets the glory. Amen?

Pictures

2008-09-23T23:23:00.005-05:00

Hey all!

Nothing serious today! If you want some deep content, try the last two entries....I'm tired, and just thought I'd put up some pictures, mmk?? Oh, you may not recognize me, I got my hair cut.....and it's straight....so I'm the girl in the white, with jeans on and dark, straight hair.

These are from our trainee 2 outing to a lake in kosciusko:

*EDITED TO ADD*

Isn't this picture awesome?? Roxy and I on the tire swing.

We got lost.....two miles from our destination....

Hebrews

2008-09-20T14:08:00.004-05:00

Hey all.

All summer....and the end of last year....I realized that I really didn't have a passion for the Word of God. I read it, I understood the basic meaning, I got excited about it sometimes, but I didn't crave it. That was my prayer for the past 6 months or so. "Lord, I want to have eyes that are open to your word, eyes that see all that promises and truths, and a heart that is soft and receptive to put them into practice."

I waited.

When I moved back here to Mississippi I really felt the need to have a consistent time of day for my prayer and reading of the Word. That's not a formula for success, but it really helps me (in case you didn't know, I'm a schedule person....I don't like to admit it, but I function better when I plan out what I need to do and when, it helps me to focus.) So anyway, I've been doing my devotions every morning when I get up (which for me is the best time for my brain to function.....pbj sandwich, Bible and coffee....I LOVE my mornings!!) and it's been SO amazing.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been studying the book of Hebrews. It may be my favorite book of the Bible. The Lord has answered my prayer, and has given me eyes that are open and a heart that is receptive to what he wants me to learn. I love that Hebrews explains WHY Jesus' blood takes away sin. Of course, I believe on faith, but Hebrews makes my faith so much more logical. It explains why Jesus is the ONLY one who can take a away sin. It is a logical step by step proof to the Jewish people on why the new covenant of Jesus blood is better then the old covenant of animal sacrifice.

Not only do I love how logical and sensible Hebrews is, I also am SO excited about how it's changed my perspective. I have a new found awe of what Jesus did for me on the cross. Worship is like a brand new experience, because I understand how special it is to come before the father BOLDLY, instead of being separated by my sin. I've always thought of Jesus as savior and Lord, but now he's showing me how he is also my high priest. This is one of my favorite verses: "Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Isn't that awesome?? Jesus doesn't give us grace when we need it just because he knows that we need it, he actually sympathizes and understands what it's like to be human. That puts a whole new spin on God's love for us!! He loves us SO MUCH that he become one of us so that he could understand first hand how we work. Jesus understands what it is to struggle (though he did it without sinning), and so when we struggle, he goes to God on our behalf and brings us grace and mercy in our time of need!! How amazing is that?? No other religion has such an intimately involved God.

The Word is so exciting! I actually enjoy getting up in the mornings now, because I love spending the first part of my day learning about our great God.

The POWER of the Gospel

2008-09-14T18:56:00.004-05:00

Dear Lukewarm Christian,

We all know that the gospel of Jesus Christ has power. How many of us believe that? Not many. How many of us are a testimony of that? Even fewer.

As Christians, we are to be devoted to the "ministry of the Word." (Acts 6:4) Do you know what that means?? A pastor or minister is more or less, a servant of his church. The Greek word used in that text is diakonos....which means, "to wait upon" or to "serve".....a waitress or waiter. I'm a waitress, so to me that is a very clear picture of how we should live. When the Bible talks about the "ministry of the Word" it is talking about the "serving of the Word."

Picture this: you are the server.....the Bible is the customer. The Bible is sitting at the table, telling you what it wants from you....this is your response, "sorry, I'm fresh out of obedience today.....no sir, we don't serve mercy at this church.....ummm, I can talk to the pastor, but I'm afraid that the use of the word "hell" in sermons is considered unkind, and unsafe for the general public.....well, I'd like to give you what you want, but you're asking too much, can you order something else??

Are you serious?? Would you really say that to a customer? Of course not! You'd say, "Fruit of the Spirit? Coming right up sir. With a side of repentance? Why certainly, I'll get right on my knees. And for dessert, you'd like some missionary work in India, which requires me selling all that I own? It'd be my pleasure."

If the Bible is real, why don't you live it out? It says to give away all that you have, so why are you still hoarding away money for retirement? Where in the Bible does it say to pay all your bills before you tithe, before you give to those that have even less?? The Bible says not to let "ANY unwholesome talk come out of your mouths," so why do you gossip and call it a prayer request. The Bible says to only think on things that are true (you're not allowed to believe the lies of the enemy), lovely, noble, excellent (the excludes a lot of media), admirable (excludes even more media) and praiseworthy (no self-condemnation)....so why are you depressed watching pointless television?

Loved ones, when people look at your life it should be like reading a book......the Bible. The unsaved at work should feel like they've just read the New Testament when they look at your life. There should be miracles, the power of God, faith, unconditional, perfect love, you should be COMPLETELY different

If God is the Creator, then why are you still telling him what to do? Why are you still giving him conditions on how far you are willing to follow him? You are created for HIS purpose, so why do so many other things in your life come before him??

If Jesus is real, if he REALLY is the son of God, why are you living in the world?? Why are you spending your time on sin and frivolous pursuits? Do you know that he has set you free?!?! His blood paid for your sin. Your debt was PAID IN FULL, yet you return to your sin over and over and over. Why don't you tell more people about Him? He has given you EVERYTHING, yet you are still ashamed to mention his name in the presence of those that need him most, your unsaved friends.

Do you know who you are? If you profess to know Christ, you are his AMBASSADOR. "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:20-21 What is an ambassador?? "a diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government or sovereign as the resident representative of his or her own government or sovereign or appointed for a special and often temporary diplomatic assignment." Do you see what this says?? We are assigned by God (the king of a sovereign nation) on a temporary diplomatic assignment (sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ until he takes us home) to a foreign nation (this world). Now, look back at the passage in 2 Corinthians 5. That says that in order to be a good ambassador, we must be reconciled to God (REPENT!!!) An ambassador doesn't give his own opinions, right? He only says what he has been told to say by the one in authority. So, you CANNOT just say whatever you want to the people of this world. You need to be reconciled to God so that your actions display only him, not yourself. I mean, you are appointed as God's righteousness, that's amazing! He took our sin, so that we could be his ambassadors, his righteousness to the world.

Too hard you say? Too much work?? Too radical?? Shut up. Get behind me Satan. Don't you think the cross was hard? I mean really, we have been given a gift!! Jesus Christ, the son of the LIVING GOD, has freed us from sin! Do you really want to tell me that abstaining from a few petty, sinful pleasures, and giving away a bit of time from your life (which is meaningless without him anyway) is too hard a task? Come on now.

By the way, I'm not writing this to you, I'm writing it to me.

Love,
Julie.

Endless Song

2008-09-08T16:24:00.004-05:00

Hey all!

It's been a while......sorry!

Life is really good here. I'll write more when I have time. Right now I'm off to work! I'm working at Chili's in Madison w/roommate Danielle. It's really wonderful!

So many things to say, so little time. For now, here are the lyrics to my new favorite song. These words basically sum up how I've been feeling. Praise Jesus. Hallelujah! He is SO worthy of my praise. He is perfect, faithful and true.

Endless Song- Shannon Wexelberg:

Here's my life
It is not my own
Such a debt I owe
For I have been ransomed

What a price
You have paid for me
For my liberty
Freedom is my anthem

Let me not forget your sacrifice
Everyday recount the ways you've changed my life!

Let my heart sing an endless song
And let it rise from a child forgiven
Let my life tell the story of
Your redeeming love
Jesus, Lamb of God
Such amazing love

Here's my heart
It belongs to you
Let my gratitude
Overflow in praises

What a joy
Savior and friend
Love that never ends
The one who is unfailing

Let me not forget your sacrifice
Everyday recount the ways you've changed my life!

Let my heart sing an endless song
And let it rise from a child forgiven
Let my life tell the story of
Your redeeming love
Jesus, Lamb of God
Such amazing love

A New Start

2008-08-29T18:23:00.004-05:00

I'm in Mississippi!

Wow. These last few days have been a rush......of everything, time emotions, prayers, conversations, there's been a lot going on.

In a lot of ways I'm really excited about this next year. There are some obvious dampers.....I MISS my loved ones back home....but the silver lining is that we won't be apart forever, and we serve the same God who will bring us through this often difficult time of life. However, by God's grace, that sadness is not going to be allowed to outshine the joy I have and the peace that has been granted to me by my precious Father.

It's a new year. A new start. A new beginning.

Last year I tried far to often to rely on myself.....and fell flat on my face.

This year I will have hard times, but God's grace will more then cover that.....and I will draw strength from him.

Last year I lived in fear.

This year I know that the Word is clear that "perfect love casts out fear."

Last year I was self-focused.

This year, by his power, I have more love, more joy and more grace to give away to those around me.

Last year I couldn't wait to go home.....so much so that it made me miserable while I was here.

This year, because I know that "He works all things for good for those who love him", I can't wait to go home! But I am content and enjoying the present.

Last year God was INCREDIBLY faithful, and I still ran from him.....

This year, I'll do the same thing more then once, but I'm trusting that the Holy Spirit will be even more evident in me as I see the error of my ways and run back to Him.

The Lord is good. His plan is perfect. His peace is incomprehensible. His joy is unspeakable. His love is never ending. His grace is always available. His hand is always on us. For that reason, this will be a good year.....because I serve a good God. It really is that simple. Hallelujah!

I love you all. May you rest in the peace of our Savior.

It is Well...

2008-08-25T15:58:00.003-05:00

A new year. A new start. More to learn. New challenges to face. Old problems to work on. Hallelujah, my life is hidden in Christ, and I have NO reason to fear!

Wow you guys, I can't believe summer is over. I dropped Jeremy off at Moody yesterday, and leave for Mississippi in a little over 48 hours. Summer is officially over.

A week ago, my heart was about to break......a couple days ago I was scared and afraid of leaving all my loved ones......but not today...his mercies are new EVERY morning! God gives grace, and He has given me a lot today!

I can't even express how I feel right now. I'm excited, joyful, peaceful, content....just SO thrilled to be going where God wants me. He has turned my mourning into dancing.....and I can't explain it! All my fears and doubt are washed away. Don't worry, I'm not delusional. I know that there WILL be hard times, and that I WILL want to give up more then once, but I know that the Lord IS faithful, and he is doing what is best.

Now I have a choice. When things get rough, when I'm scared or nervous, depressed or lonely, angry or frustrated, I have a choice. I can cling to Jesus, I can continue to believe in his promises, or I can fall back into fear. I have a feeling that consistent time alone with the Lord is the key to keeping my mind where it is right now. I have got to fix my thoughts on the author and perfecter of my faith.

The reason I want to tell you guys this is to give testimony to the goodness of the Lord, and power of prayer. I've wanted to have this outlook all summer, I've been praying for it (as have others)....I've wanted to be peaceful about going back, I've wanted to be excited, I've wanted my heart to change from apprehensive to excited.....and praise the Lord, it has!

All in all, "it is well with my soul." Because "perfect love casts out fear." Amen?

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

2008-07-20T12:53:00.002-05:00

Hymns are so amazing. This is a new personal favorite. It's basically the prayer of my heart:

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

I am weak, but Thou art strong,
Jesus, keep me from all wrong,
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

When my feeble life is o’er,
Time for me will be no more,
Guide me gently, safely o’er
To Thy kingdom, dear Lord, to Thy shore.

Pretending

2008-07-14T14:38:00.002-05:00

Hey all.

I'm not in the mood for chit chat.....so I'll just jump into what I've been thinking today. Bear with me, this is long, but hopefully worth it!

Have you ever played make-believe?? Have you ever put on a front?? Have you ever been in a play? Have you ever wanted to be someone else? For the most part, pretending is a thing for children....and the young at heart.....Most adults don't run around playing cowboys and indians, they have a different kind of make believe. They pretend to be someone they're not. They buy more then they can afford to seem richer, they do more then they have time for so that they seem busy or popular....these are the negative aspects that come to mind when I think about "pretending" or "putting on a face"....

However, pretending, or imitating if you will, is not always something to avoid. I was reading Mere Christianity today, and C.S. Lewis said something that I found very interesting.

"May I once again start by putting two pictures, or two stories rather,
into your minds? One is the story you have all read called Beauty and the
Beast. The girl, you remember, had to marry a monster for some reason. And
she did. She kissed it as if it were a man. And then, much to her relief, it
really turned into a man and all went well. The other story is about someone
who had to wear a mask; a mask which made him look much nicer than he really
was. He had to wear it for year. And when he took it off he found his own
face had grown to fit it. He was now really beautiful. What had begun as
disguise had become a reality. I think both these stories may (in a fanciful
way, of course) help to illustrate what I have to say in this chapter."

"....Lord's Prayer. Its very first words are Our Father. Do you now see what those words mean? They mean quite frankly, that you are putting yourself in the place of
a son of God. To put it bluntly, you are dressing up as Christ. If you like,
you are pretending. Because, of course, the moment you realise what the
words mean, you realise that you are not a son of God. You are not being
like The Son of God, whose will and interests are at one with those of the
Father: you are a bundle of self-centred fears, hopes, greeds, jealousies,
and self-conceit, all doomed to death. So that, in a way, this dressing up
as Christ is a piece of outrageous cheek. But the odd thing is that He has
ordered us to do it."

"there is also a good kind, where the pretence leads up to the real thing.
When you are not feeling particularly friendly but know you ought to be, the
best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave
as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. And in a few minutes,
as we have all noticed, you will be really feeling friendlier than you were.
Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as
if you had it already."

" You see what is happening. The Christ Himself, the Son of God who is
man (just like you) and God (just like His Father) is actually at your side
and is already at that moment beginning to turn your pretence into a
reality. This is not merely a fancy way of saying that your conscience is
telling you what to do. If you simply ask your conscience, you get one
result: if you remember that you are dressing up as Christ, you get a
different one. There are lots of things which your conscience might not call
definitely wrong (specially things in your mind) but which you will see at
once you cannot go on doing if you are seriously trying to be like Christ.
For you are no longer thinking simply about right and wrong; you are trying
to catch the good infection from a Person. It is more like painting a
portrait than like obeying a set of rules. And the odd thing is that while
in one way it is much harder than keeping rules, in another way it is far
easier."

So, I read that....and I began to think about what the Bible has to say on the subject. Paul is a BIG advocate of "pretending"....he tells us in several of his letters to "imitate me as I imitate Christ" or "you became imitators of us and of the Lord" and "you became imitators of the churches of Jesus Christ...."

Do you see why this is good? I think what Paul and Lewis are trying to say is that we should not try to retain ourselves while follow a set of rules. I should not be trying to become "the sanctified version of myself" but rather "a completely new person that is exactly like Christ." I need to think like, act like, react like and imitate Jesus. It takes Christianity a step further then just rules, it's a whole transformation of me as a person. It's about changing my mindset and my core being as much as it is about the list of "do nots".....

Hurray!!

2008-07-06T20:20:00.001-05:00

Hey all!

Quick update: summer is wonderful.

More importantly....Francis Chan has a blogspot!! Did you guys know that??? I'm pretty excited. Check it out!

http://francischansblog.blogspot.com/

Some thoughts

2008-06-15T20:01:00.003-05:00

Hey all.

It's summer, and I'm sorry, but I haven't been super motivated to put anything up on here.......

Life is really good here, I'm thoroughly enjoying being with my family! It's also been wonderful to spend time with Jeremy and his family (we've been dating for just about one year now....isn't that amazing? Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a long time....and it's awesome to look back on how the Lord has changed and grown us since then.) Anyway, I started working a little, and will have a little more to do (I'm teaching ballet) starting next week. So for now it's just been a lot of fun, relaxation and I've gotten to read!! I haven't read a book (other than my Bible) in a while. I'm in the midst of Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan) and Crazy Love (Francis Chan), they're both excellent.

So, I got to talk to Rick (my youth pastor in high school) the other day, and his words really impacted me. "Julie, you're talented, and mature, you've reached a place in your life that most people don't get to until they're older. In light of that, there are two choices, either you are great, or God is great." Then, while I was reading Crazy love, Francis said something similar. "God is the main character in the movie, you're an extra with a two-fifths of a second scene.....you have to live like the story is about Him, because it is."

Isn't that a novel thought? My life is not about me. I know that seems like it should be obvious, and it is, but I don't live like it. My plans are so often based on what I want/need/think/feel, and I think of myself as the main character of my life. It shouldn't be that way.

So, as I've been praying, the Lord has given me this to pray, "Lord, may I become small in my own eyes, so that I can see more of you."

I want to decrease......I want to be small so that HE can be glorified and exalted.

Tagged!

2008-06-06T14:45:00.003-05:00

Liz got me.....I've been tagged with a "blogger game." Here it goes:

The rules: Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What were you doing ten years ago?
Well, ten years ago (at the tender age of eight) I was in the third grade, and I lived in Albion, Michigan. I could usually be found doing school, ballet, climbing trees, trying to fly, inventing "roller coasters" out of the playhouse and ropes, running, building things out of sticks and stones, daydreaming.

What are five non-work related items on my to-do list today?
Read some C.S. Lewis (the Problem with Pain)
Call the gang to set up our weekly girls night in
Spend quality time with at least one sibling
Clean house
Watch dance recital

Five snacks I enjoy:
Ice Cream
Chocolate
Chips & Salsa
Fresh fruit
Graham Crackers and chocolate icing

Five things I'd do if I were a billionaire:
Tithe 10% to my church(es)
Buy some children from overseas (there are places where boys cost $2 and girls cost $1)
Build a house and provide food, schooling, ect. for the children
Travel the world (preferably in a hot air balloon)
Hand it out gradually over my lifetime to those that cross my path and are in need.

Places I've lived:
Ann Arbor, MI; Ypsilanti, MI; Albion, MI; Spring Arbor, MI; Ridgeland, MS.

Jobs I've had (in order of appearance):
Newspaper Courier
Baby-sitter
Ballet teacher
Coffee/bagel Shop worker

Graduation

2008-06-04T15:38:00.003-05:00

My wonderful grandmother(Nana) is here for the week! She is a really special lady, and I absolutely love spending time with her. She loves the Lord SO much....she is an inspiration.

My beloved grandfather passed away about a year ago.......I miss him quite a bit. Like my grandmother, he also loved the Lord with all of his heart. As much as I miss him, I am overjoyed to see him in heaven.....and I can't wait to see all that the Lord has shown him in the new adventure he is on.

Nana and Angie and I were talking about death today, and what she said was so profound, I thought I'd share it with you all.

"You know girls, for Christians, death is really more of a graduation. The Lord gives us things to do on this earth, he gives us a job to do for the kingdom, and when he sees that you have accomplished the plan he set out for you, he chooses to take you home. Yes it is sad, but it's nothing to be afraid of....just like graduating high school, it's a little bit of a scary transition, and you miss your family, but there is an even better adventure then this one on the other side of graduation."

Isn't that a wonderful description? Yes it is a little scary, and you may miss your family, but it's just like graduation. For those that have life in Jesus, we are just moving on to a bigger and better adventure. Isn't that wonderful?? "'Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Amen.

Vision of You

2008-06-02T13:59:00.002-05:00

Hey guys.

I've been pretty dry lately.....and I wasn't sure why....Jeremy and I had a good long talk about it yesterday, and he's been feeling the same way. He wrote about it, so read that if you want the whole story.

Anyway, this song pretty much sums up the cry of our hearts, what we want to see happen in our lives......what we know will happen if we will just stop striving, and truly surrender.

Vision of You
by Shane Barnard

Come meet us, King Jesus.
Oh wind of change blow through this temple.
Sweet spirit of God, come and mend our hearts.
For all we have are songs. Unless you come.

Awaken what's inside of me.
Tune my heart to all You are in me.
Even though you're here, God come.
May the vision of You be the death of me.
and even though You've given everything.
Jesus come!

Come free us, King Jesus.
Its the only way that freedom is given.
From you and you alone in the work You've already done.
All we have are songs, unless You come.

Awaken what's inside of me.
Tune my heart to all You are in me.
Even though you're here, God come.
May the vision of You be the death of me.
and even though You've given everything.
Jesus come!

Here we are, Lord, in this place.
Crying out for Your embrace.
To hear Your voice more than songs.

Awaken what's inside of me.
Tune my heart to all You are in me.
Even though you're here, God come.
May the vision of You be the death of me.
and even though You've given everything.
Jesus come!

Reflections

2008-05-23T09:31:00.005-05:00

Well y'all, I'm fixin' to come home......

My darling brother Daniel is flying in tomorrow afternoon....I'm so excited! He has been in England this past semester, and will have many stories to tell I'm sure. We have quite a bit to catch up on....which is good, because we have a 15 hour drive to make. I'm leaving Sunday morning and I'll get into Michigan late Sunday evening.

These past few days have been full of reflections on my first year away from home. In many ways, I'm the same.....I still have the same likes and dislikes, the same goals, the same dreams....but as a person, my heart has changed. My thoughts have changed, the way I look at life has changed. The pains and trials that will seem trivial in twenty years, but for now seem very real and difficult, have given me a new depth of perspective, a new understanding of love, a new grasp of patience, and a new level of trust in the Lord.The Lord has blessed me SO much. I can't even put into words how thankful I am. The people he has placed in my life, the situations he has brought me through, the changes he has brought about in my walk with him are incredible.

I have tasted and seen first hand that the Lord IS good. His mercies are NEVER failing. His love is EVERLASTING. He DOES hear the prayers of a righteous man. Those who hope in the Lord WILL renew their strength. He is able to do MUCH more then all we ask or imagine. Jehovah Jireh is MY provider. The things of the Lord ARE foolishness to those who are perishing, but we have the mind of Christ.

The Word of the Lord has been proved true in real life situations over and over and over. The Spirit of the Lord has been my constant companion this last year. I am in awe of the grace of the Lord upon my life. He deserves the glory.

Last performance!

2008-05-21T18:27:00.005-05:00

We have our last performance tomorrow :-(

It's bitter sweet....for sure....I really love it here....but I'm excited for all that summer will be. Overall, I'm just really thankful. The Lord has blessed me beyond anything I could ever ask or imagine!

Here are some pictures of our last rehearsal....I'm in the bright blue...

See those feet? Those are mine...and they are looking forward to having three months off! ;-)

Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace??

2008-05-17T23:44:00.003-05:00

I love these words by Shane and Shane, "An unfair deal on the part of Christ, he got my sin, I got eternal life."

A precious friend of mine was asking me what I believed....and we had a very good conversation. We were IMing, and my internet was being frustrating, so I just wrote her an email. Satan hated what I had to say. The whole internet not working was spiritual warfare, I have no doubt. Satan knows that she's in a battle, and that this battle is for her soul.

Anyway, she really made me think. Having to explain my views to someone who doesn't agree really put them in perspective. It really is all about Jesus' grace, not about what I have done/can do.

Here's what I wrote to her. She asked what I believed...and I also responded to a few questions like, "can't you have Jesus message of love and goodwill without the other stuff?" and "if that's true then Hitler could be in heaven."

"Okay, here's what I believe in a nutshell. Of course, there's more to it, but this is the essentials, k??

Sin was brought into God's perfect world when Adam and Eve chose to disobey. Because of their disobedience, sin entered the world, and it's consequence is death.

I was born into a world filled with pain, death and evil, just like you. As a baby the moment I chose to do something wrong (probably at just a few months old) I became stained with sin. As I got older, I got more and more stained as I did more bad things (lying, cheating, stealing, lusting, ect.) Even though I'm a pretty "good person" by the world's standards, even my small sins separate me from God. Like a white t-shirt with spaghetti sauce, I am stained beyond repair. None of the good deeds that I do can ever cover for my sin....I can not erase my bad deeds (big or small). However, Jesus came into the world and lived a perfect, sinless life, and because he loved me SO much, he took my sin and died for it. Jesus is "tide to go" and he is the only thing that takes the stain out of my white t-shirt. Nothing else works. He went to Hell, bearing your sin and mine, but because he was perfect, death(which is the consequence of sin) couldn't hold him down, so he came back to life! He rose from the dead.

Yes, Jesus preached love and goodwill, but that wasn't all. We can't just take part of his message, it's all or nothing. Just like any other leader (think Obama, Hillary, McCain...you can't take half of them, you either take their whole platform and you vote for them, or you don't). Jesus' main message was that he came to save us from our sins. Why do we need saving? Because the consequence of sin is death and death means Hell, eternal separation from God. Jesus came to spare us from that. It is for THAT reason that he preached love and goodwill (those are just the ways that we should act, they don't bring us salvation.) You can't take only half of his message.

Even Hitler could go to heaven. Isn't that amazing? Isn't it awesome to know that there is a God who would spare even Hitler from Hell? If Jesus' would forgive Hitler.....how much more can he forgive you and I? If Jesus' blood can wash away the HUGE spaghetti stains on Hitler's t-shirt, how much more can he wash away our sins?

It's not about what you do. It's not about living a good life. It's by the grace of Jesus Christ, a free gift that you cannot earn, that we are forgiven and given the chance to live in Heaven forever with God."

Wow. Thank you Lord. I learned a lot in that conversation. I'm learning more and more how UTTERLY helpless I am, and how completely powerful HE is. His grace covers me, I CAN't earn his salvation, love, approval or blessing! All that I have is by grace and his love for me, I don't deserve ANY of it. Amazing! The gospel is that much sweeter when put in those terms.

"An unfair deal on the part of Christ, he got my sin, I got eternal life."

Surrender

2008-05-12T16:20:00.003-05:00

So, I was thinking about the "stale state" of my Christianity....and I think these guys put into words what I've been beginning to realize.

"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above." -Robert Robinson

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." -Peter the Apostle

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Jesus

"You can't do it. We can't draw closer to God by trying harder. "Pull it together" by letting it go...into the hands of God."-Jeremy

"Jeremy took the words right out of my mouth ... what he said ... and what He said."-Daddy

Thanks for the counsel. I am blessed to have wise men in my life.

I rely too much on my own ability to love the Lord....but it's His love that I need in order to love Him...you know? I have to surrender.

I LOVE being independent....I LOVE doing things on my own....it's partly my personality, and partly how I was raised. It can be a good thing, but in this situation it's not. I'm like the two year old trying to tie her own shoes. "I can do it myself Daddy!" But I can't. My shoes are on the wrong feet.....and the laces are dragging in the dirt.....I need His help.

So, I guess the task ahead is kind of a paradox. I must allow myself to be bound to Christ, and I have to let HIM be the one to do it. All my own striving won't work, only Jesus, only his mercy and grace will change me.

Stale

2008-05-11T14:41:00.002-05:00

Can your Christianity become stale?? Has mine become such? Am I the salt that has lost it's saltiness? Sometimes I wonder. I have to be honest. As much as I would love to tell you that I am passionate about Jesus all the time, it's not always the case. This is not a "I'm beating myself over the head" entry, I just want to be real about what's going on.

It's not that anything is wrong, I'm not going through any hardships, I'm just stale. Is being "tired" or "busy" a good excuse....? I don't really think so. My prayers seem hollow....the Word seems dry.....Christianity is not a feeling....I know that....but what is the deal with this dry spot? The things that used to draw me to the Lord seem common place. My awe of the cross, my wonder at his goodness, my thankful heart, where is that? Where is the girl in love? Why is she replaced by a tired, stressed out woman who would rather kneel during worship then dance....not because she is broken, but simply because her feet hurt??

Have you ever sat down to pray, and so many thoughts are swirling in your head that the prayer becomes a to do list....and becomes frustrating rather then sweet, intimate time with Jesus?

Since when was it okay with me that Jesus is on a list, rather then in my heart?

In the words of Mr. Yuri, "Come on girl, pull it together." He was talking dance, but that's not the only area those words hit.

Psalm 42 is my prayer.

"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
................................
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God."

I need Jesus to give me the strength to overcome. My heart's desire IS to serve him, and I need to live like that is the case.

"Come on girl, pull it together."

Two kinds of Christianity

2008-05-05T13:58:00.004-05:00

Sorry it's been so long......I have had a thought forming in my mind for months now....and I've thought about it alot this week....so I had to finish thinking before I could write. Hopefully it makes sense....

There are not two kinds of Christians.......there are not different ways to live out your faith.....there are, in fact, two religions by the same name. We are NOT two different parts of the same religion. These two religions are radically different. One leads to life, the other to death. One is absolute truth, the other is the worst kind of deceit. Each group has its following. One walks the wide road, the other the narrow. Both do good works......both try to live good lives....both believe in heaven....but only one believes in hell. They both believe in Jesus....but they don't believe in the same one. This is not a new idea...it's talked about throughout the Bible....goats and sheep....wheat and chaff....they both dwell together, but only one group knows the truth.

Yes, there are two different religions. One is very evil, the other is pure good. It is hard to separate the two, they look very similar on the outside...but the shepherd knows his sheep, and the goats cannot fool him.

The kind of Christianity that is applauded by the world is the kind that is tolerant, open minded, updated, trendy, safe, it brings no controversy, it holds up no standard, it argues nothing, and to them, the Bible is a "good book." Don't be fooled, dear friends, they are trapped in the worst kind of hypocrisy. They claim to be more relevant, they claim to be more "forward" but what they are is deceived. Their doctrine claims that if you say, "the prayer" that you are now guaranteed heaven. That's a nice thought, but it fails to ring true. A prayer without repentance, without a true change of heart just hits the ceiling and falls back to earth....heaven knows it not. These Christians live the comfortable American life....they indulge in every sort of evil that the heathens do....without remorse they rest on the assurance that the "prayer" said in 3rd grade Sunday School will somehow magically save them from death and hell. They believe that they are their own standard, they believe that they can judge right and wrong for themselves. They do not believe the words of the Bible, after all, they're twenty one, or forty five, or sixty.....they must certainly know more then a book that has withstood two thousand years of controversy. The prophet Jeremiah hears from the Lord on this very subject, "This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you;
they fill you with false hopes.
They speak visions from their own minds,
not from the mouth of the LORD.

They keep saying to those who despise me,
'The LORD says: You will have peace.'
And to all who follow the stubbornness of their hearts
they say, 'No harm will come to you.'

But which of them has stood in the council of the LORD
to see or to hear his word?
Who has listened and heard his word?
Jeremiah 23:16-18

The leaders of this cult promise false peace and security. They claim their destination to be heaven while sitting on a bus to hell.

This is the worst kind of religion. One that is so close to the original that it is hard to see a difference....but there is.....there is.

A real follower of Christ is that prays often....not just once. Those that are going to heaven are those that believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and savior....and because of that powerful realization their lives are COMPLETELY revolutionized. This Christianity is loving, but firm. It holds up the Word of the Lord as a standard, it does not back down from tough issues, it does not gloss over sin but slashes it out of existence. These are the people that preach about HELL and SIN, not to bring fear, but because that is the REALITY of humanity. They have no king but Yeshua. These people are the ones that live and die for the name of Jesus Christ, the son of God, and they know him personally. These are the people that don't just surrender, but abandon their lives to the cause for which they have been assigned. They hold no fear of death or hell, or poverty or disease, or hunger or hurt....they are few and far between. They know the real pain of their sin, and the real joy of their salvation.

Don't be deceived. There will come a day when we will stand before the Lord, and he will know his own. You cannot fool him. Either you know him, or you don't, so be prepared.

Ummm...??

2008-04-29T18:14:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I was flipping through youtube....and I typed in Ballet Magnificat....I clicked on the first video and I'm like, "oh wow, we just danced at this church not too long ago.....hey, that girl looks like me....oh wow....that is me....!"

It's not the best quality video, but you can see a little bit of our dance called "Freedom" by Jason Upton. I'm the girl that's in focus during the first shot, but after that you can't see where I'm at.

The Cross: Ultimate love or foolishness?

2008-04-27T08:30:00.005-05:00

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

So many people.....so much to say.....so many are lost.....and I have the answer.....but most don't listen....their hearts are hard.

While I was in Chicago I met a man who I will never forget. His name was Michael.....he was playing the saxophone on the street corner.....I stopped to sing with him (it was an amazing thing to add the sound of my instrument to his, as both drifted into time and soon were lost in the faces, cars, buildings and waining light of the Chicago sky line.)

After a pleasant round of "My favorite things".....I asked him a question:

"Do you know Jesus?"

"Of course I do sweetheart." He replied without hesitation.

I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed, I wanted to share Jesus with him. "Really? What is Jesus to you?"

"He's the universe....he's peace and all that is good. He was a good man who preached a good message and taught us how to redeem ourselves."

"That's not what the Bible says." I replied, "the Bible teaches that Jesus Christ died on a cross to pay for our sins, our wrong doings, because in and of ourselves we could never do enough good to cover for all the wrong we've done."

"Jesus Christ was a fool," he said, "if he died on that cross. No, that couldn't be it, he couldn't have done that, he wants us to redeem ourselves."

"How?"

"Through good works....if you kill a man, you must save one, if you steal, you must give back.....that's how you redeem yourself. Just look at the universe, buying and selling are the only ways to get anything. You can't get something for nothing. You must not believe in Jesus," he retorted, starting to get angry, "you believe in the Bible....you have your noes stuck in a book....you believe a lie....you've been decieved....you have no idea what you are talking about.....that's a nice fairy tale sweetheart, but it's not reality."

I melted on the inside. My heart broke. How could I explain my Jesus to this man? How do I explain the incredible love of Christ? All I could do was smile sweetly and all the sudden I heard myself ask him, "what is reality?"

"This is reality. You, me, Chicago, right now."

"Can you prove that?"

"No."

"Exactly, this is reality to you because it's what you've experienced. How can you tell me that what I've experienced is not reality, when you've never experienced it? You won't understand the reality of Jesus' love....a love that would drive him to do something foolish...like die on a cross for you and me...unless you see it in your own life. It takes a step of faith."

"Whatever....you're crazy.....that's not true...you probably read it in the Bible somewhere....peace girl, I'm done."

"Okay, thanks for talking to me, have a great evening."

The devil worshiper at Barnes and Noble.....Morris at work every morning....Johnny at the bus station.....and now Michael....all have one thing in common. They know of Jesus, but they don't believe in him. They believe in love, but they don't believe in redemption. They believe in the historical Jesus, but they don't believe in the Word. They believe that they have Jesus, but he MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IN THEIR LIVES.

No fairy tale ending....no amazing conversion....like many of the other people I've talked to about Jesus, he'll accept Jesus as a good man, but not as savior....the Bible is a good book....but not something to be taken too seriously.

These basic concepts are things that my life is built on. They are the core of who I am, and they are the motivation behind much of what I do. How do I convey who Jesus is and how he can change them? Street evangelism is a hard thing. I don't like it...but I also can't stand walking past someone who is headed to Hell....as if everything is okay.

I guess it's not really my job to get frustrated....this is the Lord's work...he will see it completed...all I can do is offer myself as an instrument.

Freedom

2008-04-24T16:25:00.003-05:00

Do you see the battle? Can you hear the noise?
The blood of martyrs cries out to deaf ears,
The countryside turned into patchwork with the bodies of saints.
Cries of anguish tempered only by a whisper of hope,
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Are you still in bondage? Can you see the light?
Prison doors are unlocked, broken chains fall all around.
The ones who lurked in the shadows have come into the light,
All that they owe has been wiped clean.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Do you see the sin? Can you smell the poison?
The harlot has devoured many, her words are empty and vile.
Her victims left disillusioned, a bitter taste in their mouths,
Their disgrace has become the word of their testimony.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Are you weary of your burden? Can you taste defeat?
The fatherless are desolate, no one can take them in.
Broken and lifeless they fall without a sound,
With determination in their eyes they stand once more.
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Do you know the one who saves? Can you feel his love?
The King of kings and Lord of lords is coming.
He will make all things new, in his presence there is peace.
Our hope is in that day, hold on 'til then, with
Voices raised in one accord crying,
FREEDOM

Chi-town!!

2008-04-23T16:15:00.004-05:00

I had a wonderful weekend. I was in Chicago with Jeremy and Kelley......and Anna Z. came for a few days too. Ballet Magnificat was at Moody this weekend as well. We got to see the Hiding Place (Deidre....my roommate....was in the show). I also got to go to church with Jeremy (which I loved!) and I went to classes....and chapel.....and met his friends.....it was pretty sweet. We even went out on our first dinner date! It was a lot of fun to get dressed up and go out.....but we both felt a little goofy....oh well.

I throughly enjoyed it!

Here's a few pictures.

I heart trainee life!

2008-04-18T16:15:00.005-05:00

Trainee Party!! We had SO much fun....we all dressed up and watched "Enchanted"

Praise Him!

A few thoughts

2008-04-17T11:52:00.002-05:00

Hey all.

The Lord has given me a choice this week. I feel lifeless and dead. However, his name is still to be praised. This passage from C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters is what I've been living. I didn't even realize it until last night. I was so focused on trying to get myself back to "feeling normal" that I completely over looked the fact that I am trying to live Christianity in my own strength.

Read this:

Whenever they [the humans] are attending to the Enemy Himself [God] we are defeated, but there are ways of preventing them from doing so. The simplest is to turn their gaze away from Him towards themselves. Keep them watching their own minds are trying to produce feelings there by the action of their own wills. When they meant to ask Him for charity, let them, instead, start trying to manufacture charitable feelings for themselves and not notice that this is what they are doing. When they meant to pray for courage, let them really be trying to feel brave. When they say they are praying for forgiveness, let them be trying to feel forgiven. Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feeling; and never let them suspect how much success or failure of that kind depends on whether they are well or ill, fresh or tired, at the moment.

Isn't that an incredible thought? How often do we chase a "feeling" or a "way of life" instead of running hard after the Lord? How we feel about things, our perspective on life may change from day to day, but he is constant. What am I chasing? What do I have my eyes set on?

Well....I probably won't write again for a while.....I'm heading off to Chicago tomorrow to see one of my two favorite guys! (The other is in his forties and lives in Michigan ;-)

Love you all.

-Julie

Revival

2008-04-16T17:29:00.003-05:00

I need a revival.

Revive my heart, dear Jesus. Fill me with your Spirit once again. I know you live in me.....teach me to live like I know that. I don't want to just drift downstream. I want to swim against the current, press on toward the prize. Jesus, shine through me. Use me. Consume me. I need more of you Jesus.....I'm empty, I want you to fill me. Nothing in the world can satisfy me....only you.

Even these words are empty Jesus. I have nothing to say to you to convey my thoughts. My prayers are so shallow.

Even as I write I realize how self focused this is. Oh Jesus, revive me.

Just for fun

2008-04-11T20:42:00.002-05:00

Hey guys!

I thought you might get a chuckle out of this.....I'm sure you've all heard/seen Twila Paris. Well, Ballet Magnificat apparently did a music video with her WAY back in the day. It's hilarious. I laughed so hard I almost died. It's SO different from what we do now.....but it's kind of cool.

The only thing I can't figure out....why is there a tree in the dining room??

The 3rd dancer is Ms. Cassandra (Trainee director), the last girl is Ms. Kathy (the founder/artistic director), the first guy is Mr. Yuri (Omega company director), and the last guy is Mr. John (company dancer).

Don't watch the whole thing (it's boring) but the first couple of minutes are really funny.

So...after that little piece of history.....here's a really cool video of Omega doing "Hiding Place"

Humbled

2008-04-10T14:38:00.001-05:00

I am humbled by how the Lord works.

Today was a long day. We had ballet off, so I worked a long shift at work. While I was there, a girl that rarely works with me walked in the door.....my heart sunk. The last time we worked together, I got frustrated with her and subsequently spouted off to the cooks.....was I justified? Probably. Was I right in God's eyes? Nope. So, as soon as she walked in, I knew I had to apologize. I had made our issue public (by talking to our cooks about it) and so I had to make the apology public too (something my mom taught me.)

Apologizing publicly, especially when I think I'm right, is not an easy thing. Anyway, I talked to her about it, and made it clear that I was out of line. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I don't want anything to mar my witness for Christ.

After that it was like a switch had been flipped....we talked the whole day.....a wall that had been put up suddenly toppled over. This girl, who I used to tolerate at best, has started to open up to me. Praise the Lord. How am I supposed to share Jesus if I act like a self righteous hypocrite? Thankfully, God gives second chances, and I am now in the position to really get to know this girl, and share Jesus with her.

I'm not saying this so you guys can give me a pat on the back. I just want it to be a testimony as to how God's ways are always better. The world wants to see a difference in our actions.....if we respond in a godly manner, especially when we mess up, they can tell.

Prayer

2008-04-07T19:46:00.002-05:00

Prayer is an amazing thing. The Lord's been teaching me a lot about it lately. We're studying it in Ballet Mag. bible study....and I've been studying it on my own for a while now too.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:14-15

How true that is. When we pray according to the Lord's will....nothing can stop it from happening. I've seen it time and time and time again.

I love to pray, the Lord's been teaching me SO much about it....I see SO many results from it...yet, honestly, I still fail to give it the time and attention it should have in my life. I know that when we pray, things happen. I know that God hears me....I know that he speaks to my heart and gives me specific things/people to pray for....so why do I consistently put it at the end of my list?

What....are my friends, my roommates, my family...more important then the Creator of heaven and earth? How many times have I spent an afternoon pouring out my frustrations and problems and pains to those that have NO control? Why do I do that? I should be going to my Father, who knows what to do, and how to fix every problem I encounter. I should have a humble, sweet, patient spirit....but instead I'm trapped in this stupid overly dramatic, girly, emotional ridiculousness. It's frustrating. Most of you would love to tell me that I'm "doing great" but don't. I know where I fall short, and it's time for me to stop making excuses for myself.

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love." John 15:8-10

Okay. That makes it simple. I need to abide in Him. I'm getting better at it...but I have a LONG way to go. Thankfully, the Lord is patient, and he never gets tired of teaching me. What a good God we serve! He is awesome. He is slow to anger and abounding in amazing, wonderful, incomprehensibly steadfast love.

Tornado

2008-04-05T17:47:00.005-05:00

Yesterday we had a HUGE storm here in Jackson. The storm came at about noon, and lasted until about 1:30. I was at Ballet Mag. studios at the time. The power went out, the sky turned green, and we all sat in the hallway waiting for it to blow over. I've never been afraid of storms (actually, they fascinate me) so I watched a little bit of it from the windows of the studio (until some well meaning friends made me go somewhere a little safer). It was awesome......The winds swirled at a fantastic speed, the leaves were caught up as in some crazed dance, and the trees even joined in, swaying in an uncomfortable circular motion.......Okay, so that's a bit dramatized....but it was cool. The tornado came right past the studio.....but thanks to the Lord, no one was hurt, none of the cars were damaged, nothing on the building was shaken. However, half a mile away...."Some 80-100 vehicle windows were blown out at Watson Quality Ford on I-55 frontage road just south of County Line Road in Jackson on Friday."(Clarion Ledger-local paper). God is good, amen??

I really do love storms. First, I love the huge noises, chaotic sights, and fresh smells brought in by a storm. It reminds me so much of the Lord. We think that we have pretty amazing technology....we can "raise" the dead......we can "create" new life....we can "heal" the sick....we can "do" so much by our "own" power.....but no one can claim to do anything to the weather! Only Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God, can do anything to a storm. We are rendered powerless in a storm, while all he has to do is speak one word, and all is calm. What a good reminder of how little power we have over anything.

Here are some pictures of the damage:

Some 92,000 were out of power (including me!). Restaurants, grocery stores, gas stations, movie theaters....and everything else came to a grinding halt without electricity. It was a little frustrating.....I like my conveniences like everyone else . But at the same time, I love to see God's power displayed in such a tangible way. All this chaos, and he still holds it in the palm of his hands.

Forgiven much

2008-03-30T18:11:00.008-05:00

Hey you guys!

Praise the Lord. You know what? He is awesome. I may sound like a broken record, but I'm so excited about what He's teaching me, I can't help it.

This is one of my favorite quotes from Amy Carmichael:

"If I cast up a confessed, repented and forsaken sin against another and allow my remembrance of that sin to color my thinking, and feed my suspicions then I know nothing of Calvary's love."

We so often condemn others, when we should be merciful. And why? Why do we feel at liberty to tear others down......to tell them that their sin defines them.......to make them feel that they need to hide their sin. WHERE IS THAT IN THE BIBLE? That makes me so angry. I have been forgiven and set free, what right have I to look down upon ANYONE. I'm not saying that people shouldn't be held accountable....we need that. However, Jesus would be disgusted by us tearing down those that need help. Can we please get over our self-righteousness and get onto helping one another? If you don't have any sin, then stop reading, this doesn't apply to you. But if you do, if you're like me and you're not perfect.....then.......

This scripture has been on my heart the last few days. It amazes me.

"Luke 7:49-43

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

Do you see the significance of this passage? The man who was forgiven more, loved more. He had more compassion, he had more understanding of the grace of God, and so he had a greater ability of how to extend that grace to others.

That is the beauty of grace. Do we want to sin? No. Do we need to stop sinning? Of course! But praise the Lord that he turns our ashes into beauty! He takes our sin and uses it to teach us to love more deeply, to extend more grace to one another.....if I had not experienced sin and all its vices how could I extend grace to others? So I hate sin. It's horrible....but I'm thankful for how I learn from it. I'm thankful that my sin, as terrible as it is, has been used by the Lord to change me and to give me a heart for others.

Self-righteousness and judgment are replaced with compassion and mercy in light of the cross. Praise him.

A fresh perspective

2008-03-27T17:31:00.004-05:00

I am so thankful.

That has been the theme of my week. We serve a great God.....and you know what? We have EVERY reason to thank him! If he had just died for our sins....it would have been enough....if he had just risen from the dead so that we could have life.....it would have been more then enough.....yet he continues to pour out goodness and grace and mercy into our lives. How can I complain, or even wish for anything other then what he has given to me!?

We had a performance today at "Mustard Seed Ministries." It's a home for mentally handicapped men and women. At each performance someone from our group gets to share with the audience during the intermission. I really felt like the Lord wanted me to share....so I did. It was awesome! The Lord told me to share about freedom from sin and the victory we have in Christ Jesus. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to hold their attention....but the Word of the Lord holds it's own....they were all attentive for the ten minutes I spoke. It was NOT me. The Lord gave me every word....it wasn't my own wisdom. I don't think I've ever been able to share the gospel that clearly. Praise the Lord. It was awesome! I know that he's going to use that in their lives. I don't know how much they can comprehend, but He does, and He will work in them.

One more thing from spring break. This is a picture of the wonderful and talented Wilson/Slager/McGrath family. They are precious. I really enjoy spending time with them. I got to hang out with them Friday and Saturday of spring break. Sue put up some pictures on Facebook, so here's one for you all to see.

The sweet baby in the middle is Lydia (Jeremy's niece).Oh gosh, it has had been a while....Alicia's 6 now, so yeah, I was out of practice with the whole baby thing....but I got to hold her! Hey Liz, thanks for sharing!

There and back again.....into the final stretch of school.

2008-03-24T14:47:00.003-05:00

Hey y'all!

I'm back in good old Mississippi.

What a wonderful time at home! It was SO great to see everyone. I managed to see Kelley, Atalie, friends from high school, friends at the studio, family, grandparents, Jeremy, Jeremy's family, church friends, neighbors, teachers from highschool, students from the studio......pretty much everyone that has played a role in my life. It was SO nice. My only regret is that I don't have more time to spend with each of those people. Oh well, such is life.

It is a little sad to have to leave everyone, but it's good to be back. I'm looking forward to the next two months until summer. There's nothing SUPER exciting going on here, basically day to day life.....but I enjoy it. It's good to get back into my routine.

Sometimes it's hard to switch back and forth between locations. It takes a little bit to adjust to both places. Thankfully the Lord is constant! He's always so near. He never changes, he's my constant companion. I love that aspect of God. He never leaves me, or forsakes me.....he's always with me and always loves me. Mhmmmm, God is good.

Well, just two more months of school. I wonder what God will do? I wonder what I'll learn? I wonder how I'll grow? I wonder who I'll meet? I wonder who I'll influence? I wonder who will influence me? I don't just want to make it through these next 60 days, I want to live them to their fullest....I want to get everything out of it that I can.

Praise the Lord for his steadfast love and faithfulness.

-Julie

How should we then live?

2008-03-18T14:28:00.002-05:00

Hey all!

Spring break is AMAZING. I'm loving every minute of it!

I'm teaching a bible study tonight at my old ballet studio. I'm SO excited! I can't wait to share what I've been learning with all these precious girls. Anyway, this is the lesson plan I've been working on...I thought you all might like to see it.

Love you!
-Julie

How should we then live?
#1. We are all sinners, we all deserve eternal death. (Romans 3:23-25)
#2. We were saved from sin and death by Jesus death and ressurection. (Isaiah 53:5-6)
#3. Because we have been saved, we must live like it. We can no longer walk in darkness. (1 John 1: 6-10)
#4. If you are a Christian you cannot have both God and sin, you must choose. (1 John 2:15-17)
#5. It is better to either live as a true Chrisitan, or as an unbeliever, if you are lukewarm God will spit you out of his mouth. (Revelation 3:15)
#6. It is not enough to go to church, you must live according to the Word of God, otherwise, you are not a true christian, you are decieving yourself. (James 1:22-27)
#7. Our salvation is not by works. (Galations 2:16)
#8. However, it is by our works that our faith is proven. (James 2:14-20)
#9. If you are truly surrendered to Jesus, then you will produce “good fruit” or good works. If you are not, then you will bear, “bad fruit” or sins. This is how you can tell who is a true believer, by the kind of fruit that they bear. (Matthew 12:33-37)
#10. Don’t get overwhelmed, you don’t have to change by yourself! Because you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit is in you, you are a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:16-17)
#11. Because of the power of the Holy Spirit, you are no longer bound to sin. You are free, and therefore able to live without sin.(Galatians 5:16-17 &22-26)
#12. The Lord will give you the strength to live this way. He will cover your weaknesses. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
#13. If you wish to follow Christ, you must “pick up your cross.” That means that you must listen to the Word, and to the Holy Spirit and do as they say. (Luke 9:23-25)
#14. You will face ridicule, you will stick out, you probably won’t be cool. Just remember, you have no need to fear man, the only one you should fear is God. (Luke 12:4-5)
#15. You must walk the narrow road. It’s a hard way to go, but the reward is great. (Matthew 7:13-14)
#16. In light of what you’ve just learned, what do you need to do? Do you need to confess your sin? Do you need to apologize to a friend? A family member? Do you need to accept Christ as your savior? Do you need to rededicate your life to him? Remember, the Lord is slow to anger and abounding in love. If you confess your sins, he will put them as far as the east is from the west. He will cleanse you and make you new. (Psalm 103:8-14)

I'm going home!

2008-03-13T16:43:00.000-05:00

Mhmmm...that's pretty much all I have to say.

Nothing but the blood

2008-03-11T17:01:00.003-05:00

"But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

"Would you be free from your burden of sin?
There's power in the blood!
Power in the blood!"

"What can wash away my sin?
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!"

Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. John 6:53

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. Ephesians 2:13

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross. Colossians 2:13-15

"Hail to the King,
Hail to the living Word!
Let praise arise,
Heaven and earth,
Sing praise to the lamb,
Seated on the throne,
Power and strength are yours alone."

Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise! Revelation 5:12

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God,let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Hebrews 10:19-22

"Lead me to the cross where your blood poured out,
Bring me to my knees Lord, I lay me down.
Rid me of myself,
I belong to you...
Lead me to the cross."

The Cross

2008-03-10T16:18:00.002-05:00

This speaks for itself. Watch it if you have a moment.

Waiting vs. Trusting

2008-03-08T17:36:00.003-06:00

God is good. Can I get an amen??

Here I am, slightly annoyed that his plans aren't the ones I had in mind.....and WHAM, I got hit with a spiritual sledge hammer. There are some that say that God is always gentle, and that he only whispers, but I beg to differ. For those of us with heads made of steel, and a will stronger then that, the sledge hammer approach has to be used.

I was "waiting" on God for my future....honestly, I thought I had approached everything right. I was thinking, "okay, here are my plans, and I'm waiting for God to do this."

WRONG.

You see, what I've learned is that waiting and trusting are two different things. Waiting isn't bad, to the contrary, it's a very good thing. Trusting and waiting just look different depending on the circumstances. When you wait on God, you have a goal in mind, and you wait for God to bring you to that goal. When you trust in God, you trust that though you don't know, he has a goal, and he will bring that about.

What I need to do is TRUST God for my future.....well, for everything really. I need to trust that he has a plan, and that his plan is best, instead of waiting for him to come around to my way of thinking.

I realize that I was trying to honor God with my approach. My heart was in the right place, but my thought process was wrong. My goal (wanting to go to school), is not wrong, but I neglected to lay that down before Jesus. I just assumed that he wanted what I wanted. I also assumed that he'd do things in my timing (I'd rather go to school now, while I'm young, instead of waiting until I'm older.)

Does that make sense? My heart was willing to go wherever God wanted me, but my mind had over analyzed everything.

Moral of the story: Trust in the LORD with all you heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Evaluations

2008-03-06T15:06:00.003-06:00

Hey all.

Well, we had evaluations today. I got promoted to Trainee 2. (For those that haven't heard me explain, this is how B. Mag works.)

Trainee 1 (which I'm in this year) doesn't feed into the company, it's for training only. Trainee 2 is the level that they choose company members from. It's more advanced technically, they perform more, they have harder choreography....they have a different schedule from Trainee 1's.

So anyway, that's what happened! It's amazing how much peace I have about all this. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, but I know that the Lord has everything under control. I wanted to go to school, I thought it was time to move on from ballet....but the Lord has something else in mind. I'm here at Ballet Magnificat....for at least one more year.

Praise him.

This is what he's been impressing on my heart, I hope it encourages you all:

"This is the way my child, walk in it. This is where I have you, do not be afraid. This is my plan for you, do not doubt. This is my will, this is my voice. I am, that I am. I have covered the past, control the present and direct your future. Do not be afraid, for I am your God and I will be with you every step of the way. Follow me, for my yolk is easy and my burden is light. For there is no safer place to be then in the center of my will."

-Julie

Commitment vs. Surrender

2008-03-05T19:26:00.004-06:00

Hey all!

We're learning about this in Bible study, and I think it's such an awesome perspective, so I thought I'd share my thoughts:

What is the difference between commitment and surrender?? How does that apply to your (my) walk with Christ? Here are some things you "commit" to.

1. Diet

2. School

3. Exercise

4. Job

What do all those things have in common?? You have control. You choose what to commit to. When you commit to something, you are relying on your own strength to hold to whatever you've chosen.

Now think about surrender. When you hear the word surrender it's usually in the context of:

1. War

2. Property

3. Law

What do these have in common? You have no control. You must give up your right to choose because there is an authority more powerful then your own. Surrender means giving up the power to choose. Surrender means laying down your rights, and giving someone else complete control.

Now think about that in the context of your Christian life. I "commit" to reading my Bible.....then I fail....why? Because I'm trying to hold to it in my own strength. I commit my life to Jesus....and I stray.....why? Because I'm using my own power to make it come about. When you surrender your life, when you surrender your heart and mind to Jesus, you're relinquishing control. You're giving up your right to choose, and giving Him lordship over your life. When you surrender, Jesus is in control and you live like Him by His power, not your own.

So which would you rather? Commitment or surrender? If you commit to Jesus, then you have the power. The power to succeed, the power to fail....and ultimately, you're not going to be able to reach his standard on your own. If you surrender to Jesus then the ball is in his court. He calls the shots, he makes the decisions, all you have to do is follow. He will never fail, he will never fall short.....surrendering to Jesus, giving up the power you have over your own life is not only necessary, but it's freeing.

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

A Day in the Life

2008-03-04T18:35:00.002-06:00

Hey all!

Not a whole lot going on. I'm just living everyday, working to become more like Jesus....falling down a lot, but occasionally, I take steps forward. Today was one of those "forward" days. It was just awesome. I prayed for others, spent quality time with Jesus, got to encourage some of my friends and roommates. Glory to the Lord.....the good work he has started in me is that much closer to completion.

And.....

I'm having steak for dinner! Yum.

Later.

;-)

-Julie

Grace and Forgiveness pt. XXVI

2008-03-01T16:41:00.004-06:00

Hey guys! Sorry, it's been a while.

We had an amazing weekend. Megan came to stay with me for the audition this weekend! We had a wonderful time.....she loved my roommates (who wouldn't?!?!), and is really interested in Ballet Magnificat, so I guess we'll see what God has in store for her next year.

Okay, I know I talk about this all the time.....but it's constantly on my mind....so bear with me. Do you know what the most amazing words are?

"Paid in full."

Imagine being in debt. Not just a little short on money, I mean bankrupt. You can't work to pay off the debt...it's just too big, and it would take more time, energy and ability then you will ever have. The debt is completely your fault, you are to blame. The penalty for your debt is death. You're on the verge of death, it's looming, and you can't do anything about it. Then, out of nowhere, you receive a notice from your creditors that simply says, "paid in full." You're free. Your debt has been paid! You can start over....you have a brand new life. "It was an unfair deal on the part of Christ. He got my sin, I got eternal life"

Amazing. My debt is paid in full. I am a new creation. I am covered by Jesus' blood. I can stand before the throne of God my King unashamed, because instead of my sin, he sees the righteousness of Jesus Christ.

One year later.....

2008-02-24T16:11:00.004-06:00

The auditionees are coming in this week!

I'm so excited!

As I've been thinking about them coming, I've also been reflecting on where I was last year at this time. God is incredibly faithful. I remember praying SO much about where God wanted me to be, and coming to a point of surrender where I was truly okay with whatever his will was. I learned so much about trusting the Lord. I spent hours praying and listening.....I grew so much through all that.

I can't help but think that many of these girls are going through the same thing right now. I'm so excited to have the opportunity to pray for them, and to talk with them. I want to share with them how AMAZING Jesus is. I want them to know about his love and faithfulness that do not fail. I want them to come to know him more through this audition, through this "waiting" period in their lives. It is such a huge decision to come to Ballet Magnificat.....or to decide to go anywhere for that matter. I'm excited for them, and for the journey that their starting out on. They're going to discover the Lord in a way that they have never known him before.

Aside from that, life here is going really well. I'm learning a lot this semester. It's not quite as rapid and life changing as last semester, it's more learning to live day by day as Jesus would.

Only 3 more weeks until spring break! I'm pretty excited!

-Julie

Christ for the Nations

2008-02-21T20:52:00.002-06:00

I love music.

Just thought I'd say that....in case it wasn't obvious. One of the reasons I love to watch dance is that it LOOKS like music SOUNDS which I love.

Anyway, if you haven't ever heard them, you must listen to Christ for the Nations. They are incredible. Their music is worshipful and heartfelt. Now, I still like hymns the most, but really good contemporary christian worship songs are a close second. Not the goofy over played pop genre songs that you hear on the radio, but real, heartfelt worship music.

We're doing a new ballet! It's SO awesome. I really like it. The music is Jason Upton and Shane & Shane.....the title is "Rennah"......there's one part that I LOVE to dance. It's a song called "Breath of God" by Shane and Shane. Mmmmhmmmmm, I hope that one day I get to dance that one before the throne of Jesus.

Evaluations

2008-02-17T19:45:00.003-06:00

Hey all!

Sorry....I haven't written in a while......it's been a little busy lately.

Jeremy was here this past weekend. It was SO great. We enjoyed hanging out and talking face to face. It was refreshing for both of us to have a break from our normal routine. The weather was BEAUTIFUL so we got to enjoy a lot of time outdoors (which is great since normally I only get to be outside when walking to and from my car.)

Well I got my schedule for March, and it looks like we have evaluations on March 6th!

For those of you that don't know, evaluations are kind of a big deal here at Ballet Magnificat. Once a year we meet with the leadership and they tell us what they think our strengths and weaknesses are in ballet, and in our character. The thought of that alone is a little scary, but that's not all. They also tell us whether we move up a level (there are two levels, Trainee 1 and Trainee 2....I'm in 1). The girls in Trainee 2 are eligible to get an apprenticeship with one of the companies (Alpha or Omega). The third option is, "we think God has something else for you"......and they ask you to leave the program.

Now, let me explain what I'm thinking. I really love it here. I love living here, I love my friends, I am growing so much in the Lord, and it is amazing. So, in light of that, I can see myself staying. However, I also would really like to go to school, and the longer I wait, the harder it's going to be to get back into it.

I've been praying about this for a while, and I'm still not ABSOLUTELY sure what God wants. I know that I want to do his will. I know that I want to follow him, and not try to make him follow me. We'll just have to wait and see what they say at evaluations....if I get "let go" I guess it'll make my decision easy!

I'd appreciate your prayers! I'm really curious to see what God has in store. The one thing I am convinced of is that whatever he has for me, it will be good.

Love,
Julie

What is love?

2008-02-10T07:14:00.000-06:00

Hey guys!

Sorry it's been a while.....I've been busy, but I'm happy to have some time to update you all on what's been going on.

Life here is going well. I'm enjoying Ballet Magnificat, I'm really enjoying all of my friends and work is well......work.

So guess what holiday is this week? Valentine's Day. Now, most (if not all) of you know that I don't think very highly of this "Hallmark holiday".....but it has made me think a lot over the past few days.

(This is a long one, but bear with me.....it'll all make sense in the end.)

What is love?? It can't be candy hearts, balloons and little cards with baby angels....

I know what love is NOT. Love is not lust. Love is not obsession with another person. Love is not a deception to get others to do what you want.

The first scripture that came to mind when I was thinking about all of this was first John 4:7-11&18: "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

and verse 18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Okay, so far we see that love comes from God. Not only that, but God IS love. His very nature is love. So when we love one another, that is an extension of the very nature of God! That is a HUGE responsibility. A far cry from what the world knows, isn't it? Love is the absence of fear. There is no fear in the love of God. Of course, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.....but because of HIS great love for us, we have no fear of our sins being counted against us. We stand before the throne, covered in the grace and love of our Lord Jesus, and so we are able to speak to our Father, and have fellowship with him.

The next passage that came to mind was John 15:9-13:

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

This passage shows us a little more of what love is. Jesus tells us that love=obedience. That's not easy. He also says that love=sacrifice. Also VERY difficult. As I thought about that.....I got really excited. Do you see the other pictures of this kind of love that God has put into society?!?!?! Marriage....the wife is called to obey her husband out of respect....the husband is called to sacrifice his own life out of love (that's spelled out in Ephesians 5). The other picture that I see is in parenting (Mom, Dad, can I get an amen?). Children are called to obey their parents.....and the very act of having children calls parents to sacrifice their bodies, hearts, minds and resources to their child.

AND

This is the most exciting. Love=Calvary. When Jesus died on the cross he did it out of PERFECT love! He was in perfect OBEDIENCE to the father.....and perfect SACRIFICE to us. Isn't that amazing? Jesus knew exactly what he was talking about, and he walked that out so that we might have an example to follow.

At this point in my study, I was SO excited. Do you see how much our Lord loves us? Isn't that incredible? I could lose my whole world....all of you, Ballet Magnificat, my family, my dearest friends, my mind, my health, my finances.....and I would STILL have reason to rejoice in the great, surpassing love of JESUS!

Okay, so now that we know that. Let's look at some practical application. For this one, we need to go to one of my favorite passages in scripture. If you can live out this passage, you have the christian life figured out......of course, I don't think we'll ever reach that, but I have this one memorized and quote it often.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

That is incredible. The more I dig into this passage, the more amazed I am. This is the kind of person I want to be. One that loves deeply and completely with no thought of self, or selfish ambitions. One that loves without caring if that love is returned. One that because of his/her love for others is eager to think the best of everyone in every situation. One who does not bring up past sins against those around them. One who loves regardless of flaws and shortcomings in others. One whose love comes from God, and because of that, the love never runs dry, though circumstance and situations may not always seem bright.

This is completely opposite of what the world calls love. They think that love is measured by how much another person makes you happy.....or in romantic love, if they "complete" you. I've heard my friends talking like that and it makes me so upset. Love has NOTHING to do with that. That is why SO many marriages end in divorce...because people think that if their spouse isn't making them happy, then they should move on. Who made that up!?!?! That is NOT scriptural at all. The love that we have as believers should be COMPLETELY different from the world's. Remember the kids song we all used to sing? "They will know we are Christians by our love..."(John 13:35) We have to love one another in a way that is totally counter cultural, completely foolish in the world's eyes, and perfectly grounded in the Word of God.

So, in conclusion: Love is not about money, or beauty, or feelings, or personal gain. Love is a choice and an extension of grace that is given to us, shown to us and made complete by Jesus Christ.

If that's what true love is....if that's what we're celebrating on Thursday.....then maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all.
-Julie

Pictures!

2008-02-04T18:52:00.000-06:00

I thought you might like to see some pictures....

Amy, me and Rachel....I love these girls!

The hair...you can kind of see it....what are the chances that it would turn out just the way I wanted it??

Too many choices!

My sweet Abby Lou!!

So this is 18....

The flowers are beautiful aren't they?

18th Birthday

2008-02-03T14:23:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my 18th birthday. It was amazing! Now I did missed my family and friends back home, but I think this was my favorite birthday so far. I had SO much fun! I worked for the first half of the day, and then spent a leisurely afternoon getting dressed up, and then went out with my amazing friends to a beautiful Italian restaurant in Madison. It was just one of those evenings that's almost too good to be true. The whole day really.......I was swarmed with cards and packages and phone calls from all of the people back home......I don't know if I've ever felt so loved! At the end of the day, when I was getting into bed, I just sat and thought about all the people the Lord has blessed me with. I have so many wonderful friends here, and many others at home, and all of them have played very special roles in my life. I am so humbled by all of you, thank you for making the day SO wonderful.

Everyone always asks you if you "feel any different" on your birthday.....and I usually say no, but I kind of did this time. I feel grown up. It didn't happen over night, it's been a process over the last six months (I've lived in MS for 6 months.....wow.) It's not something that I can tell is happening, but when I look back to where I was in August, and see where I am now, I see a huge difference. Sure I was paying bills and working and dancing and running my own life a few days ago, but turning 18 signifies a change in my own perception of life. I feel like when I came here I was a scared, confused, little girl......but through the last few months, I've seen myself transition into a confident, calm young adult. Most of you may not see that (Mom and Dad maybe).....but I sure do. It's amazing to me to see how little I knew about life when I got here, and how much I've learned. The Lord has taught me so much about trust, hope, patience, humility, compassion, understanding, truth, generosity, hospitality, servitude.....the list goes on and on. God is SO good to me. I am in awe of how he has blessed me.

Lamentations 3:20-32

2008-01-28T14:54:00.000-06:00

I was reading this yesterday, and it REALLY stood out to me.

This passage was written while Jeremiah was going through a lot of pain, things that we can't even comprehend. Yet, in the midst of all that, he had hope. This passage is one that we should all keep in mind when we're going through a rough time. It beautifully describes the goodness of our Lord, and his love for us.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

28 Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.

29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.

30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

31 For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

Have a blessed day.

Love,
Julie

Palma Deus

2008-01-25T17:54:00.000-06:00

When translated, "Palma Deus" roughly means, "glory of God."

I was really challenged yesterday when I was reading a sermon by John Piper, and his main point was that we are created for God's glory.

Clearly, because God is God, his glory cannot be increased, but his glory can be displayed. That is what we are as humans, a display of God's glory. Our lives are meant to glorify him, to bring him honor and to bring him praise.

This is somewhat of a break through for me.

I guess I know that I am ultimately made to glorify God, but I don't always live that way. To be honest, my prayer life is way more self focused then it should be. I'm usually concerned with MY personal holiness, MY life goals, how am I being used, what needs to be changed in ME. See a pattern?

Don't get me wrong, God DOES care about those things, but they are not his priority. His priority is displaying his glory to all, and in turn drawing people to himself. In order to be in line with that plan, everything I say and do needs to bring glory to God.

When I speak, it needs to bring glory to God, when I act, it needs to bring glory to God. If I'm not doing that, I'm out of line. I know I won't always do that perfectly, but that's the goal. Of course, there is a time and a place to share with people when I'm having a rough time, but even then, the goal should be resolving whatever is wrong to the GLORY OF GOD. When I complain and get frustrated and my goal is making myself feel better, I am losing sight of what I am created for.

It's a great question to check motives. "Am I doing this for God's glory? Am I doing this to advance the kingdom?"

Where I'm at isn't going to change as a result of this revelation. My life goals, being her at Ballet Magnificat, all of this IS to the glory of God. What needs to be changed in my life is my attitude, my focus and the way I share with other people.

Goodness

2008-01-24T18:18:00.000-06:00

"Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Amen. I'm so glad that the Lord never changes. I'm so glad that his promises never change....I am so glad that though I may change my mind a thousand times, he remains the same and his purpose for me is the same.

I think I give myself too much credit sometimes. I think that somehow the good things in my life must be a result of the good things that I do. Wrong. I'm learning more and more that I have very little to do with the good things in my life. Of course, following scripture keeps me out of a lot of trouble and heart break, but as far as causing good to happen, I do nothing. Sometimes I see the good things I have, and I give thanks to God for them....until I get used to having them....then I start to think that I somehow brought it upon myself. Not true. There is nothing good in and of myself, the only good that there is comes from the Lord. He gives good gifts, and he takes away good gifts, I have very little to do with it.

I'm so glad that he is the one in charge. He doesn't change, he's always faithful, always loving, always truthful, never abandons me, never condemns me....I mean really, what's not to like? We serve an awesome God y'all, let us never forget that.

Abandonment

2008-01-22T18:14:00.000-06:00

We listened to a sermon today at B. Mag that I loved!

The topic was "living with abandonment." His key point was that as Christians, we are called to live a life that WILL NOT work unless Jesus is in it. God calls us to do the impossible, and he gave us his Holy Spirit so that we can accomplish that goal.

That really made me think. Does my life reflect that? The safest place to be is when you can't move without God's help....do I really believe that? I love to have everything under control. I love to know the future. Does that mentality reflect living with abandonment? I'd have to say no. I don't want to live a life that a non Christian could live. I want a life that is so focused on the Lord that there is NO QUESTION about what I believe. I want the power of Jesus Christ to so completely overtake me that I have no fear of following him....even if I have no idea where I'm going.

The funny thing is that I say this is my goal....but do I live like it? Do my desires and dreams match up with my convictions and high ideals?

What am I seeking?

2008-01-20T21:04:00.000-06:00

What am I seeking? The gift? Or the giver? The promise? Or the promiser? The resource? Or the provider?

Am I seeking God's hand? Or am I seeking his face?

This morning in church we were praying for the Lord to do a work in our lives, in our community, in our nation. As I was praying, I was impressed that we need to give glory and thanks to the Lord, and we need to honor him in our prayers, not just ask for blessings or miracles. We need to seek to know him, not just to get what he can give. Yes, he gives good gifts, yes, we need to ask when we have a need (Luke 11:10, Matt 7:8)....but we need to seek his presence and a relationship with him first.

That's hard. It's so easy to get into a "wish list prayer" mentality. I may be praying for others, I may be praying for myself....but ultimately I feel like I'm constantly asking for things. It's so much better to praise the Lord...and I think that we should have prayer time specifically devoted to that. I don't just want to say...please help me with abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvxy.......I want to praise him, thank him and worship him in the way I talk to him.

"More then the water, I love the fountain. More then the warmth, I love the flame. More then green pastures, I love the Shepherd. More then my life, I love your name."
-Unknown

God is God

2008-01-19T15:52:00.000-06:00

*Edited a few hours later*

I thought about taking out this post, but hey, I want you guys to see the process that the Lord is taking me through....I don't want to leave out the rough points.

"What do I have, if I don't have you Jesus?? What in this life could mean anymore. You are my rock, you are my glory, you are the lifter of my head!"
-Starfield

Jesus, I trust you. I will praise you Jesus! I will give you the glory, because you are worthy, and you are my God. You have the best plan, I can't wait to see what you have in store. Thank you Jesus for always lifting my head and giving me enough light to take one more step. I love you!

-Julie

Original Post:

Well, despite my best efforts, I still don't have control over my life. Not all of you know the background for this post, but let's just say that I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life (specifically college....when, where, what), and I'm not getting answers that I like. More waiting.....the thing I dislike the most.

I thought I did, at least to some extent.....but no. God is sovereign, his plan WILL win. I've been asking for clarity, and he's bringing it....slowly but surely. I don't know where he's taking me, I don't know what he wants for my life.....all I know is what he wants from me today....devotion, trust, belief that his plan is best.

These words by Jason Upton pretty much sum up what I want to say:

I don't have the power
I don't even have a clue
I don't have all the answers
I don't even have a few

But if I were really honest
And the truth were known of me
It might sound a little funny
But this is what my prayer would be

I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You
I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You

I lift my eyes toward the Heavens
Tune my ear to Your command
Help me boast in my condition
You're the God and I'm the man

Lord, I don't alway like how you work....but thank you that you do. I don't always see how your plan will work out, but I know it will. Let my heart be soft to your commands. I love you Lord.

-Julie

Contentment

2008-01-17T18:56:00.000-06:00

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." 1 Timothy 6:6-7

Can I get an amen??

What is contentment? According to Webster's contentment is: feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation.

Why is it SO hard to be content? The grass is always greener on the other side....or is it? If I had everything that I think I want, would I be satisfied? Would I wake up every morning excited and refreshed and renewed? Is that ever possible in this life....or is it a thing of fairy tales?

I think I should learn to be content. I mean, if contentment is "feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status or situation" then I should be content!

My favorite possession is my Bible, my status is a daughter of God.....a redeemed sinner....a recipient of Christ's amazing grace, my situation is perfectly in line with God's will.

I know these things, and yet my heart is restless. I feel like I should be doing more, or going somewhere else, or doing something differently! At the same time, I have a perfect peace about where I'm at. I don't know, this is confusing. Sorry.

I just need to have more of Jesus. I'm not satisfied, I need more of him.

Good friends

2008-01-16T19:56:00.000-06:00

Isn't God amazing??

The way he orchestrates my life never ceases to amaze me.

My friend Amy and I went out to dinner this evening. We talked for 3 hours. It was awesome.

This girl is just incredible. She loves Jesus, and she has so many of my same problems! I know that sounds funny, but you guys know what I mean.

It's cool because I work with her, and I wouldn't have gotten to know her without that. God knew that....I wonder if he did that on purpose? It certainly makes sense that he would. He knew that we'd be going through the same things at the same times, and so he allowed us to get to know each other so that we could encourage on another toward Jesus.

Not just Amy, but Stella too.

She's another friend that ALWAYS seems to know what to say. The Lord has blessed her with a lot of wisdom. She's kind of like an older sister to me. She lives in my same apartment complex, and we get together ever so often to sit (in the hot tub!), relax and chat about life. She's SO grounded in God's word....and she's real prayer warrior. I love her!

Then there's Abby Lee and Abby Lou (yes those are their real names, and yes they are roommates!)

Abby Lee is very realistic, goal oriented and neat. Abby Lou is very outgoing, joyful and creative. Both of them bless me beyond belief. Their opposite views on life are so funny, but both of them love Jesus with their whole hearts and seek to do his will above all else. They've both been good for me, and have taught me SO much. Most of all they're always there to lend on ear when I need someone to listen to me....and they'll offer their perspective on whatever I'm going through.

And of course, how could I forget my roommates! There is honest, real, listening Dani. Then there's deep, thoughtful, reflective Deidre. Joyful, encouraging, loves life Merry and tender, sympathetic, loving Erin. These girls are amazing. Each one teaches me something new about life and God pretty much everyday....each one is great to cry with and to laugh with! Each one has a permanent place in my heart.

I could go on and on about Marleigh, Amy (there are two), Alyssa, Liz, Roxanne, Elizabeth, Rachel, Danielle (there are two of those too!), Lauren, Ivy, Megan, Hannah, Leslie, Naomi, Ashley, Rebecca, Naphtali, Beth, Kelsey, Bethany and Shari....but that would take a while.

I am so blessed. Each one of these girls has touched my life in a very significant way over the past five months, and I know that the things I've learned are things that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life.

Then there are my precious friends from back home. I miss them!

God is good. He put me exactly where I need to be to learn more about him....with specific people to teach me specific things. He has given me such good friends! I am SO blessed.

Love

2008-01-15T18:29:00.001-06:00

I wonder if the basics of Christianity get lost as we move onto more "complicated issues."

What is the number one commandment? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. The second one is like it, love your neighbor as yourself."

I don't want to sound like a hippie....or a new ager....or a little girl lost in lala land.....but what happened to love?

What happened to loving Jesus SO much that you can't contain it? What happened to loving others so much that everything you do is for their benefit?

Isn't that the core of what we should be doing? Loving the Lord and loving others? I mean yes, there are hundreds of other issues in our faith that need time to be thought out and discussed....but the core of Christianity is love. Why do we get so bogged down in everything going on around us that we forget to just love Jesus?

Not just a little love.....deep, passionate, life changing, bone chilling, ridiculous, unexplainable love and devotion to the only one who deserves it.....Jesus Christ.

I think if we could learn that then trust, faith, hope, discipline, evangelism, worship ect. would flow easily. If we would concentrate on loving Jesus as much as possible, then we would have a lot less time to worry about other things. What would happen if we REALLY loved everyone as we love ourselves?

edited to add

2008-01-13T15:56:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to add this...it was from my devotions today. I was listening to some of my favorite hymns, and just spending time in prayer.....I hope it blesses you as much as it did me.

“Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.”

“Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul.....my life.....my all.”

I am so thankful that I serve a good God. I am so thankful that my God knows me SO well. I am so thankful that my Jesus is more then enough to cover over all my sins, worries, doubts and anxieties. Thank you Jesus for your unfailing love. Thank you that there is so much to worry about.....because in that, I see you more clearly.

The will of God

2008-01-13T07:42:00.000-06:00

How do you hear the voice of God? How do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt what he's telling you? What happens if you hear him wrong?

My problem is that I always think that God wants the opposite of what I want. I'm not sure why that is, because so far, everything he's asked me to do has been right in line with what I've wanted. I guess in some ways I must be waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm so concerned about doing his will.......I'll get to the point where I'm pretty sure I know what to do.....but there's this thought in the back of my mind that contradicts what I think I'm supposed to do.....so I wait. I don't like the anxiety this creates. I want to be completely sure of what I'm supposed to do.

I've always been taught that whatever God says needs to line up with scripture, prayer, circumstance and advice from trusted Christian friends. Here's the problem: it's not something that scripture talks about, my prayers are bringing more confusion then clarity, the circumstances could be taken either way and the trusted Christians in my life all have different opinions.

I'm so lost.

I'd really appreciate your prayers. I WANT to do God's will....but if he were to write it out for me, would I listen? I hope so....I'd want to....but how can I know his will? Should I know? Is it best for me to just wait? I don't know.

One thing I do know is that I need to, "Rejoice always, give thanks in all circumstances and pray without ceasing; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess 5:16-18

Recap

2008-01-12T09:51:00.001-06:00

I realized I never finished telling you guys about the break.....

My last week at home was WONDERFUL! I spent four days in Traverse City with my amazing family. We relaxed, played games, swam, did a little sight seeing, and just generally enjoyed being together. How I miss them!

The next day I went with Jeremy to go visit his grandparents in North Carolina. We had a great trip down (despite being caught in a four hour traffic jam). Friday morning I was privileged to dance at SIM (the missions organization that the Wilsons work for), and Friday afternoon I repeated the joy. It was such a blessing to be able to share what the Lord has given me with these precious people. It was so awesome! Unfortunately I got sick right after that......really sick. I'm not sure why I got as sick as I was, but it was pretty bad. The Wilsons, Jeremy, Justin and Laura (Jeremy's brother and brother's fiancee) took such good care of me, they were wonderful! Because I was so sick Jeremy decided to drive me from North Carolina to Jackson (which was a HUGE blessing). We left on Monday, ate lunch in Atlanta and walked around the city for a while, and arrived in Jackson around dinner time. Jeremy stayed until Wednesday morning (and since I still wasn't better, convinced me to go to the doctor.) Despite being sick, it was a fantastic trip! I really enjoyed everything.

This week has been good, just trying to get back into the swing of things. I'm a little homesick, but I guess that's to be expected.

The last few days at Ballet Magnificat, we've been learning about the "emerging church" movement. For those that don't know (I sure didn't) the emerging church is a post modern, new age approach to Christianity.....and it's not good. Basically what they're saying is that truth is subjective, you have a truth, I have a truth, but they're not necessarily the same thing. They believe that all roads lead to one place. For instance, if you're a devoted Muslim, a devoted Christian or a devoted Jew, you're serving the same God, and you're going to heaven. That is clearly NOT biblical. But why? Why would a loving God send a devoted Muslim to hell? The Muslim sincerely believed in his religion, and tried his best to live it out. First, I want to make it clear that I don't have all the answers.....God does. From what I can see, if you sincerely believe that the sky is green, and live everyday under that assumption for the rest of your life....it still doesn't make the sky green! It's blue, and it will always be blue, it is not subject to your own personal beliefs. Jesus didn't say, "I am the way, the truth and the life, and if you have never heard about me, it's okay, because Allah works too." NO! Not okay. Watch out dear friends! This way of thinking seem so logical, so loving....but it isn't, it's false doctrine. It attacks the very core of Christianity! The sovereignty of Christ is a BIG DEAL. Again, I don't know how to reconcile the verse in Romans where it talks about the gentiles being a law for themselves, because God wrote the law on their hearts. I'm not sure how that works. What I do know is that it's better to get out there and tell people about Christ, then it is to sit here and argue about something that ONLY God will decide. We MUST be careful. We're living in a day and age where truth has become irrelevant. We have to be good "keepers of the Word.....be prepared to preach in season and out of season."(2 Timothy) We need to know what the Word says. Memorize it, meditate on it, think about it, live it out.....that is the only way to guard our minds against false teaching.

If you want more reading on this, Jeremy wrote about it as well (and his insights are very good.)

In conclusion, this is what I know: I know that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose again to pay the penalty for my sin (and yours), and because of that we have eternal life in heaven. I know that I am called to preach THIS gospel to all those that I come into contact with. I know that God is loving and just, and that he will decide the issues that I don't understand.

In Christ Alone......the second time around

2008-01-10T18:41:00.000-06:00

Here I am again.

To continue where I left off last time, I NEED Jesus. I can't live without him. I can't function.....I tried.....I tried living life on my own, and it doesn't work. All I have now is a desperate hunger for him that won't subside. Praise him!

I have seen over and over and over how good things are when Jesus is by my side....and I have seen too many times what happens when I leave him out of the picture.

It's neat though, because God wastes nothing in our lives. Even though I felt like I'd put him off over break, he has used that to teach me a lesson. I know what it is to feel like I have everything (friends, family, comfort, security) and yet feel empty. I can't stand it! That's a good thing. I'm so glad that my heart is hurting over this. I'm so glad that I'm upset......because it's motivating me to get moving.

Last night was an AMAZING night of prayer and worship. I sang, prayed, read my Bible.....mhmmmm, it was so good. Now THAT is what I want life to be about.....worshiping the Lord. Life can't be about what I think is good, or having what I think I need, it has to be about Jesus, and living for him everyday.

So....

In Christ alone, my hope is found, he is my life my strength my song. This cornerstone, this solid ground, firm through the fiercest drought, and storm. What heights of love! What depths of peace! When fears are stilled, when strivings cease, my comforter, my all in all, here in the love of Christ I'll stand.

Roller Coaster Christian

2007-12-31T17:34:00.001-06:00

Hey all!

So it's been a little while......

I'm in Traverse City, MI with my family for a few days and I have some time, so I thought I'd tell you about my vacation.

The road trip was wonderful. Angie and I had a marvelous time. We left really early (5a.m.) and made good time all the way back to Michigan. Thanks SO much for your prayers! I know they made all the difference. It was a great trip.....good memories, and it was nice to spend some quality time with Angie.

When we got back to good old Spring Arbor, my grandparents were at the house! It was wonderful to spend time with my whole family (except Nana...Dad's mom, she was dearly missed!) We had an action packed week of shopping, eating, talking, wrapping and having fun. We had a "fake Christmas" (phrase coined by Alicia) on Thursday the 20th with Nanny and Grandpa. I got a blender and some pots and pans (among many other wonderful gifts!) I'm told that getting excited about a blender is the beginning of a new phase of life.

Jeremy got home the day after I did....it was SO good to spend time with him! We had a lot of fun spending time with his family and with my family. In fact, I danced at my church on Christmas Eve, and Jeremy along with his mom, dad (Sue, Jeff), brother (Justin) and soon-to-be-sister (Laura) all came to watch. Then we had our annual Christmas Eve get together at the house.....so much fun!

It was wonderful to visit my friends too! Some I had seen at Thanksgiving, others I hadn't seen since June! It was SO nice to be home and to hang out with everyone.

All in all, I've been spending a lot of time with the people that are important to me.....except one.

I have to be honest, I've neglected Jesus. Why is it that it's so easy to do my devotions when I'm in the routine of it, but as soon as things change, I squeeze God out? He should be the one I depend on ALL the time.....not just when I feel like I "need" him. I feel "unplugged" for lack of a better word. It's like, when I'm in my normal routine, I'm plugged in, I'm getting energy.....He is my strength, the power behind everything I do. When I'm on vacation, it's like I trade my power cord for a battery pack. I use the energy that I've been saving up, but I'm not getting anything new. I'm doing good things, and making good choices because I know I should, but I'm doing them in my own strength. The thing about a battery pack is that it runs out. Instead of being connected to the power source, I've been trying to run on batteries, and the batteries are burnt out. I can feel the lack of time spent with the Father. It's a weird feeling. I just feel cut off, disconnected....it's the feeling I get when I don't talk with my best friends for a few days, and it's sad. It's especially frustrating because I KNOW what to do, I just haven't done it.

Thankfully, there is grace. God is good. He's always waiting for me to come back. And I can't stand being away any longer....it's painful. I need to get back into my daily walks with the Lord. I can see where most Christians get stuck in a rut. If you're just doing life everyday, kids, husband/wife, job, church, friends, bills, vacations......it's easy to squeeze God out. What does it take to move past this stage where my quiet times are inconsistent (and based on my circumstances to some degree)...and to get to the point where I can't live without them? That's where I want to be.

Accountability is key for this kind of thing....and a bit of will power/self control....and most importantly a lot of grace and conviction from the Holy Spirit.

-Julie

P.S. If you want some GREAT reading, I highly recommend this sequence of "rhyming words." I'm sure you will be challenged, and your perspective will be changed by reading the Bible from this point of view.

Almost home

2007-12-15T15:00:00.000-06:00

Hey all!

I just wanted to give you a quick update. Angie (my sister) is here for the weekend!!!! She got in Thursday and we're driving home Monday. I would appreciate your prayers....I'm sure we'll be fine, but it's kind of a long drive.......

The show last night went really well. To be honest, I'm not in a whole lot of the show...but I enjoy hanging out with the other dancers back stage. Good times.

I'm headed out to the theater, we have a show tonight and another one tomorrow! Then we're leaving Monday around 4:30 a.m. to come back to Michigan!

I'll be seeing most of you then. Love you!

-Julie

Captivated

2007-12-10T17:56:00.001-06:00

Hi guys!

Well, it finally caught up with me. I got sick. I know, I know, you all knew it would happen.....oh well. It's cool how it happened though. The Lord uses everything to teach me something, and he always knows how much I can handle.

This past week I had nine shows (well, two were dress rehearsals, but same difference). Sunday morning I woke up with a raging fever, chills, sore throat, headache...you know the feeling. It's the "I can't believe I feel this bad and I still have fourteen hours until I get to go back to bed" feeling. Anyway, I had two shows yesterday, and my head was so stuffed up I was having a hard time balancing on two feet, let alone on the tip of one toe spinning in endless circles.

I don't remember a whole lot of what happened on stage, I just know it was amazing. I didn't feel like I was dancing, I felt like I was being carried, it was incredible. I wobbled, but never fell, I got dizzy, but never lost my balance. Jesus gets all the glory. I slept until a few minutes before I went on stage for the first show (wrapped in about five coats and tons of scarves)...I felt a little better for the second show, but I was still relying on Jesus.

It was so neat to have to trust the Lord with something that I feel like I am totally comfortable with. Dancing is pretty much second nature by now, but I had to trust Jesus just to stand up yesterday. It reminded me how much I need him in everything. There are so many days that I think I can handle the "easy" stuff, so I decide to trust Jesus with the "big things." I don't think that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I think he wants me to rely on him in everything, not just the things that are completely out of my control.

As a little bonus, I thought I'd include the lyrics to another of my favorite songs. It's called "Captivated" by Vicky Beeching. I just love this song, it puts into words how I feel about Jesus:

Verse 1:
Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder

Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze

Your anger is fiercer than the sun in its splendor

You're close and yet full of mystery

and ever since the day that I saw Your face

try as I may I cannot look away

I cannot look away

Chorus:
Captivated by You

I am captivated by You

May my life be one unbroken gaze

fixed upon the beauty of Your face

Verse 2:
Beholding is becoming so as You fill my gaze

I become more like You and my heart is changed

Beholding is becoming so as You fill my view

transform me into the likeness of You

this is what I ask for all my days

that I may never look away

never look away

Bridge:
No other could ever be as beautiful

No other could ever steal my heart away

No other could ever be as beautiful

No other could ever steal my heart away

I just can't look away

Hymns

2007-12-08T09:11:00.000-06:00

Each day at Ballet Magnificat we have a different person lead devotions. Mr. John led yesterday....and he is awesome! He plays mostly hymns, and then we spend a lot of time in prayer. Good stuff. I like almost any music that glorifies the Lord, but there's something really good about hymns. The words are SO deep and meaningful. In Christ Alone is my favorite (and yes, I know it was written recently). My other favorites are Be Still My Soul, Precious Lord Take my Hand, Great is Thy Faithfulness and Before the Throne.

I love how hymns teach theology. If a non Christian went to a "hymn sing" they would hear the message of salvation just as clearly as if they heard a sermon. Praise music and worship music also have their place. Sometimes I have days where all I can say is "holy, holy, holy." Jeremy and I were talking about this one time, and he pointed out that all types of music are scriptural:

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:19-20

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

Just something to think on: Musical preference has nothing to do with worship. Worship isn't about music.

Love,

Julie

P.S. This weather is RIDICULOUS! It's December 8th and 75 degrees.....I usually like warm weather, but this is annoying. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all! No good. I want to go back north to see the snow!

Words of Life

2007-12-07T16:00:00.000-06:00

Isn't scripture amazing? It's the only thing in the world that can truly calm my fears and give me hope. It's so easy to try and make other people/things/relationships satisfy my desire for words that can calm and heal.

A few weeks ago I was having a rough day, and ended up calling about five people to reassure me, tell me that everything was going to be okay.....ect. When I finished talking, I realized that I was just as upset and empty as before. The Lord spoke so clearly to me and said, "Julie, my words are words of life, no one else can satisfy."

I've held that in my heart since then and repeat it to myself and other often, "His words are words of life, no one else can satisfy."

I told you guys about the study of the gospels that I've been doing lately, but sometimes I need to read other things as well. I hadn't read the Psalms in a while (I was on this kick for a while that the Psalms were for people who couldn't handle the hard stuff in scripture....I'm retarded....they're just as much a part of the Bible as anything else!) Anyway, Psalm 34 really encouraged me. I hope it will speak to you as well.

I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.

2 My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,

13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.

14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;

16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;

20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

22 The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Amen.

-Julie

His name shall be called....

2007-12-04T19:49:00.000-06:00

Who is Jesus?

Is he a beautiful man with long brown hair and loving eyes? Is he a battered corpse hanging from a cross? Is he a tiny baby lying in a manger? Is he a warrior coming down on the clouds of heaven? Who is this man that I am so devoted to?

Those were the questions that I was asking myself about a month ago, so I decided to do a biographical study of Jesus. I've been going through the gospels trying to see what Jesus was like. I'm trying to understand his personality, his attitude, his mind set...everything that made him who he was. I'm doing this because I want to be more like him. I want to understand how he lived his life so that I can follow that. It's been awesome! I know him as Lord and Savior....I'm learning to know him as Provider and Master.....and now I want to know him as friend and lover. He's patient and kind and loving, but not a push over! He has a passion and love for people that is incredible (no surprise there I guess). He fears nothing. He's very wise, but doesn't lord it over people....he teaches them so that those that want to hear can understand. Even though he's kind, he's not afraid to speak against those that are doing wrong. He has a soft spot for children, widows, orphans, prostitutes and tax collectors. He prefers the company of the "unsophisticated" fishermen to that of the rich and powerful leaders. He lives simply, no pomp and circumstance. He LOVES his father.

There's a lot more to learn! This is awesome, I want to know him more.

Love you all!

'Tis the season

2007-12-02T15:56:00.000-06:00

I LOVE the Christmas season. The lights, the bells, cookies, carols, candles, church services, time with friends and family....mhmmmm, definitely one of my favorite parts of the year!

The best thing about being a Christian is understanding the true meaning of Christmas. Sure it's a pagan holiday....yes, I know, Jesus wasn't REALLY born on December 25th....but isn't it wonderful to have a time of year that makes it easy to spark conversations about Christ? With all the hustle and bustle of Christmas, most of us come into contact with a lot of people we only see once or twice a year....and all the traditions of Christmas point toward Christ, making it easier to share about him. People are a little more open to hearing about Christianity if it has to do with a baby in a manger....it's a great way to get your foot in the door so that you can share, not only about the manger, but about the cross and the empty grave!

We have another show tomorrow, and another on Thursday....and then one Friday, two Saturday and two Sunday....talk about busy! I'm glad though, it's good to have something to focus on.

Oh, if you want to, you can check out our trainee pictures here

Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of how amazing this ministry is. It is such a privilege to be a part of Ballet Magnificat! How many people get to be a part of a full time ministry at my age? I am so blessed. This is a wonderful experience...something that I will treasure all my life. The Lord is letting me live out my childhood dream. Sooner or later, I'll move onto other dreams, as this one fades into a memory, but I never want to forget how blessed I am. I prayed for this everyday since I was eleven...and prayed to be a ballerina for years before that. I begged God to allow me the privilege of being a trainee with Ballet Magnificat. At this time last year I was sending in my audition video...and praying diligently that God would let me come here. Some say that God doesn't answer pray....or that he always asks you to do something you don't want to do...not true. God gave me the desire of my heart, but not for the reasons I thought. I thought I wanted to be a prima ballerina, to dance for huge audiences, to have perfect technique, to be on T.V., to travel the world. It turns out that God's idea of a ballerina is quite different. He brought me here not to be a star, but to be a servant....to learn what it means to live for Christ EVERY day, despite hours of dancing, working, exhaustion and fatigue. Instead of signing my name on programs for adoring fans, I'm signing His name on hearts as I reach out to the "least of these" with Christ's love. It's not a life of glamor, tiaras and tutus...no, it's not what I thought it would be....it's better.

I wonder what God is preparing me for? What are all these hours of working, growing, praying, learning and stretching for? I don't think he's preparing me for the company (my heart has changed from that, and I think it's the Lord's gentle persuasion.) Where is he taking me? What will I be doing? I'm not stressed out about it at all, I'm completely peaceful. How could I be upset when, no matter what, I get to live out the rest of my days hand in hand with the man I love with all my heart? My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Joy to the world!

2007-11-28T17:21:00.000-06:00

Today was completely amazing.

We performed at a nursing home in downtown Jackson (not the nicest place ever). Thanks very much to those of you that were praying! I could feel the effects.

Nursing homes in general break my heart. I'm sure there are some very nice ones, with wonderful people (this is NOT to put down anyone who has a loved one in a nursing home). However, the one we were at today was very depressing. It was run down, filthy, smelly....not a nice place. We had the chance to perform "Unveiled Hope"....which is our ballet about the end times, and Jesus' return. We also performed our trainee Christmas program. The space was VERY small, and technically, the dancing wasn't that great (not to put the dancers down, they were beautiful, but you can only do so much when you have four dancers side by side in a twelve foot wide space.) Anyway, the performance wasn't that impressive, but the Lord certainly used it! The residents LOVED it!

After the performance I talked with a lovely lady named Evana. She was in her 90's...and was pretty shy. However, after a few minutes of awkward pauses, she began to open up. I found out that she her entire family had passed away....except one son. She still wore her wedding ring, because in her heart she was still married (I know, sniff, sniff). She was SO precious. She really appreciated us coming and dancing, because it gave her a chance to take her mind off of her dismal daily routine. I really loved talking with her.

Okay, so here's my thought....I should go visit her! It's a lot easier said then done, but I figure, if I tell you all, then I'll feel more compelled to do it (sad I know, but accountability works really well for me.) Anyway, I'm going to try and visit her at least once before I go home for Christmas. Do I have the time? Not really. But that doesn't matter.....spending time with people is the MOST important thing I could possibly do. The laundry and the cooking will get done eventually!

Complex

2007-11-27T19:47:00.000-06:00

I think I have a complex.

I have the "I'm not worthy of Jesus" complex.

We've been over this before. Why can't I just believe his grace? I want SO badly to be the perfect christian....to spend tons of time in the word and prayer, to be encouraging to others, to share Christ with everyone I meet. When I don't reach those goals (on a daily basis) I get SO frustrated! I think I'm focusing too much on works, and not enough on grace.

I had a conversation with God that was really eye opening. You see, I have a hard time praying for things that I need, or people that I really care about, if I haven't spent time praising the Lord first. I don't want to treat God like a vending machine, or a genie....which is good, but I think I take it a little too far. I'll get frustrated with myself while I pray, and then I just give up.....which is dumb.

Today I was getting frustrated, and this was the conversation:

Me: "Lord, I don't understand why I can't love you and serve you like I want to....I want to be your best friend, but how can I when I'm constantly ignoring you in favor of other things?"

God: "You're right Julie, you're not my best friend....you're my daughter."

Silence.

What an amazing picture that is. My relationship with God isn't like my earthly friendships (which have ups and downs...you lose touch....they come and go). He's like my dad. No matter what, he loves me. If I ignore him, if I disobey him, if I fail him....he still loves me. I can't do ANYTHING to separate myself from that love. I could be a total idiot, and he would still lay down his life for me. That is incredible.

How can I deserve that kind of love? I can't. It's grace, and grace alone. That grace never ceases to amaze me. So, in return, I will continue to try my hardest to serve him, to love him, to follow him, not because I'm a good person, but because of the grace he has shown to me.

There and back again....!

2007-11-25T22:52:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone!

I'm back in MS....! I miss home already, but I am looking forward to the next few weeks of dancing before I head home again for Christmas.

In short, my time at home was amazing. Time with my wonderful family was way over due. I was also thrilled to enjoy time with Jeremy and his amazing family. All in all, it was the "most shortest, but most treasured" five days I can remember. I wish I had more time to spend with all those at home. However, I am doing really well, right here, in the center of God's will. Praise him.

Right now I'm doing wonderfully. I'm looking forward to dance and work tomorrow, and also looking forward to seeing my, "Mississippi family"....the roommates should be back soon! I am going to really work at not pining away for home. What will that do anyway? The only thing I really NEED is Jesus, and he is right here with me. I am so, so glad that the one I love the most is constantly with me! I don't know what I would do if he wasn't. God is so good to me! I was so privileged to have the time and funds to go home. I cannot stop thanking him for his goodness to me.

I'd really appreciate prayer as I head into our busiest season of the year here at B. Mag. I don't want to get so caught up in the "clutter of Christmas" that I lose sight of the opportunities right before me. I want to witness at work, I want to work on loving Jesus more, I want to continue to deepen my relationships with those back home, I want to be a better example to my friends at dance, I want to be a caring, encouraging roommate.....I want to know Jesus more intimately then I ever have before. These goals are what I want to focus on.....I don't want to get too caught up in self pity, stress, sadness, discouragement, or whatever else may come my way. I know that my armor is the word of God, my counselor is the Holy Spirit, my protection is your prayers, and my strength is Jesus Christ.

Praise the Lord for his goodness!

Michigan!

2007-11-19T20:42:00.000-06:00

I am SO excited to be going home to Michigan! I'm heading out tomorrow evening on the train with my good friend Amy. We're going as far as Chicago together (from which she's heading on to Iowa) and I get to meet up with Jeremy and Kelley! From Chicago we're heading back to Michigan.....and home.

I haven't been home in nearly four months....I miss it! I can't wait!

Just to let you guys know, today was awesome. I always tell you when I'm frustrated, so I thought I'd share some excitement with you! It was one of those days I just want to treasure. I got to spend the whole day with Jesus. Yes, I still worked, I still went to ballet, I still cooked and cleaned....no, I didn't spend the whole day in a beautiful field reading the Bible (though that does sound appealing). I just lived normal life.....with Jesus. He was my first thought, and continued to be my focus all day long. It was awesome. I don't get any credit, because it wasn't by my own power. I am so thankful that the Lord helped me to focus on him. Life is so much better, so much easier this way. I have these days ever so often....and I hope that as I mature in the Lord, that these days become more frequent.

Thank you Jesus! I love you!

-Julie

Under Grace

2007-11-18T18:01:00.000-06:00

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind but now I see."

I was really convicted of that today.

Jesus' grace IS sufficient for me. Nothing else in all the world can cover my sins. No matter how much time I spend doing the right thing, I can never cause God to love me more then he does right at this moment. That doesn't mean that I'll stop doing the right thing, but I'll do it because I love Jesus, not because I'll "earn" anything.

I get SO frustrated with myself when I don't live the way I should. Lately the gravity of my sin has been weighing on me. It's hard to explain to people, because by your normal-everyday-american-christian standards, I'm doing well. That's not enough! I want to be more like Jesus, and it kills me when I fail him. I guess that's good, but at the same time, I can't get so bogged down in guilt over my sin that I forget about grace. When I fail, when I do what I don't want to...when I live in fear and doubt....when I miss an opportunity to share Christ....when I speak negatively to or about someone....I need to repent and move on. It's good to be aware of how repulsive my sin is, but I can't let that frustrate me so much. I have to let the blood of Jesus wash away my frustrations.

That's a hard concept for me to grasp. Why would a perfect, amazing, holy God want me? I don't get it.I guess it's not for me to understand, but just to accept. I'll never be good enough for him, and he doesn't care. Isn't grace amazing? What a wonderful God we have! We deserve condemnation, and what do we get? Heaven. Praise his name.

It's time to stop trying to make up for my sin with good works, and just rest in Jesus' grace.

"What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus."

Worship

2007-11-17T14:32:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! Again, it's been a while....sorry, I'm sure you guys have been busy too! It's just that time of year, yah know? Not that I mind, I love this season......the holidays, the leaves falling, apple cider, pumpkin pie, hot chocolate, bonfires, laying by the pool (oh wait, that's just me! It's about 75 here today)......wonderful.

Worship seems to have been the theme of my week. On Wednesday, Pastor Josh (my worhsip pastor at Christ Life Church of the Highlands), spoke on worship. It was awesome, exactly what I needed to hear. You see, I was tired on Wednesday and almost didn't go to church...but felt that I should at the last moment. Anyway, Josh's main point was that worship is a sacrifice. He pointed out that the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate act of worship, was Jesus, dieing on the cross. In response to that, we need to worship in a way that costs us something. For me, singing a song, raising my hands, "feeling" worshipful, is not a sacrifice. I love it! Not to say that you should be miserable in worship, but if you only worship in ways that are enjoyable to you, is it really giving something to the Lord? Not to say that singing is bad, but you have to make it more then a song. For me, I have to engage my mind. I have to meditate on Jesus, I have to challenge myself to reach for more then just a feeling, or a nice melody, I have to press deeper. That's a sacrifice. It takes effort for me to really seek the Lord in worship, rather then just enjoy his presence. I guess there can be a time to just sit in wonder, but more often you have to press through the frustrations of the day in order to reach for more of Jesus.

It's a struggle to stay engaged in worship.....sometimes I'd rather just enjoy the music, or check out all together. But if worship doesn't require effort, is it really worship?

Another thing I learned about worship....it doesn't matter what language you speak, if you're worshiping Jesus, you know it. I went to a Chinese Bible study with my friend Abby yesterday....wow! It was so amazing to worship with other believers from such a different culture! These people were all Chinese college students that go to Mississippi State University. They spoke english, but most of them didn't speak it well, so we couldn't communicate much. However, when we were singing (which was all in Chinese), there was no doubt that we were worshiping the same God. I didn't have to know what they were saying, because I knew the same spirit was in them that was in me....incredible.

How amazing is our Lord? He understands everyone of his children, reguardless of language, and he has put them same Holy Spirit in each of us, to teach us and to guide us. How can we worship anyone else? He is the ONLY one that deserves my praise and devotion. Hallelujah!

-Julie

Long distance

2007-11-13T17:30:00.000-06:00

Ever had one of those days where God seems like he's really far away? Not that he doesn't love you, or that he isn't involved, just that he's not as close as usual. Maybe I'm just crazy, I don't know, but today is one of those days. Some days it's easy to focus my thoughts on Jesus, other days it's a struggle....and then there are those days where I am constantly seeking his face, and he seems not to be found. I don't know if there's a deep emotional or psychological reason for that, but "sometimes He's further then the moon, sometimes closer then my skin." (Thank you David Crowder).

I really wish that Jesus would speak to me audibly. I want to know him more, I want to touch him, see him, hear him....I don't like being separated. I hate that my sin keeps me from being with him. I want him to come back and take me home. I long for that day with my savior. "Better is one day in his courts then thousands elsewhere," amen?

I am SO looking forward to going home for Thanksgiving next week, but I would give it up if it meant spending one day with Jesus.

My heart absolutely aches for him. My soul is full of longing for my savior. It breaks my heart to think that I won't truly be with him for a while still. Then again, I need to focus more on the time I have with him now.

Seems to be the theme of my life, huh? I always think the future will be a lot better then the present (which it is in the case of heaven, but not so much with everything else). I always look ahead, I love to dwell on what will be....but as I do that, the present passes me by. I have to learn to be still....to be quiet...to wait upon the Lord.

Peace be with you all, I love you.

-Julie

More pictures!

2007-11-11T19:08:00.001-06:00

Okay, here you go! You guys asked for pictures with me in them....so here they are. I don't like putting up pictures of myself (it fells really silly and conceited) but I guess it'd be nice for those that are back home.

Me, Marleigh and Rebecca at dinner after church:

Me and Marleigh...we have the same hair:

Striking a pose for the camera at our last performance:

I love Marliegh....but I HATE the HIDEOUS ballerina hair that they make us wear! I guess it could be worse....but I don't really see how!

Hope

2007-11-10T22:06:00.000-06:00

Sorry I've been MIA for the last few days.....it's been busy!

Just in cause you wanted to know, it's about 75 degrees here...!! That is by far my favorite thing about Mississippi.

I've been thinking about hope a lot recently. Where does my hope rest? In ballet? In my career? In my relationships? In my family? In my accomplishments? Or in Jesus?

It's so easy to set my hope on the things that are important in this world. It's so easy to think that if I just have that ONE thing, I'll be happy. Take Thanksgiving break for instance...it's been on my mind a lot lately. Some days I just feel like I'm surviving until I get to go home. That's not how I need to live. The Lord really convicted me of that the other day. I was feeling sorry for myself, wishing that time would move faster so that I could finally go home. "Julie, where is your hope? Where is your satisfaction? In me? Or in those around you?" Ouch. I think it hurt Jesus to know that I was more focused on just getting home, then I was on spending each moment with him.

I don't know when my life will end, could be in a few minutes, days, years....decades. No matter what, I should live each moment being satisfied in Jesus, not waiting for my circumstances to make me happy. I must learn to put all my hope in Jesus, and in the day he returns, not on people or events here on the earth.

So, I miss you all, but I am going to live these moments with Jesus, and I am going to learn to be more then satisfied in him.

Love,

Julie

Thankful

2007-11-04T06:51:00.000-06:00

I have to let you know, this is one of the most amazing places on earth.

Where else would I be completely surrounded by godly people who are honestly seeking the Lord with their whole hearts; yet still have the opportunity to minister? It is such an amazing thing. I have SO much support from the people here, yet just enough lonliness to keep me depending on the Lord. I have everything I need, so that I am never in want, but I have little of what I want, and that reminds me of how little I actually need. Jesus seems close enough to touch sometimes, but far enough for me to see how big he really is. I am stretched, yet built up, discouraged and at the same time renewed.

I was thinking over my life today, just seeing the different stages I've been through. I thought I'd share it with you all.

1-5 years- Beginning

6-10 years- Discovering

11-13 years- Rebelling

14-15- Changing

16- Wondering

17- Waiting

Yes, this is what we at Ballet Mag call "the waiting years". You've either been there, are there, or will be there, so you can all relate to what I'm saying. I'm waiting to see what I'm supposed to do with my talents, I'm waiting to see what God wants me to do with my life, I'm waiting to see all the pieces of the puzzle come together. Waiting....patience....more waiting.....more patience. That's not to say that I'm not doing things now. I am. I am actively growing in the Lord, I am actively sharing him with the nonbelievers in my life, but in a lot of ways this is a waiting phase. (All praise to Jesus for that! It's not of my own power, just to make it clear.) Yes, it's active waiting, but still waiting. It's hard sometimes to see the usefulness of this stage. I'd love to just know what to do so that I could do it! At the same time, how could I live a life of faith if I knew every step???

The best thing about waiting is that I need Jesus so much. I think the "waiting" stages of life are some of God's favorite times with us. If I was sure about the future, I wouldn't need to spend hours in prayer, I wouldn't crave Jesus as much, I would become complacent. This waiting keeps me on my toes, constantly seeking God, constantly looking for him in everything, constantly running after him. It's hard at times, but I wouldn't trade this for anything. God is molding me into the woman he created me to be, and this waiting is the tool.

Even more wonderful is the fact that Jesus is with me. Sometimes it feels like God is saying, "Okay, you wait here, I'm going to go do some things and I'll be back." That's not at all the case. He is here, active and present in this waiting. He's sitting here with me, teaching me, loving me, molding me, as we wait together for what is next.

Isn't God brilliant? Aren't his ways perfect? Who knew that all this uncertainty about life could bring about such a change in me? And what a great place to do the waiting! I'm learning practical skills, ministry skills, building wonderful friendships all while I wait for God to call me to the next thing. He called me here to Ballet Magnificat, and he'll call me to the next thing when it's time. Until then, here I am, actively waiting, seeking, growing, not in my own strength but by the power of Jesus Christ!

Answered prayer!

2007-11-02T16:06:00.000-05:00

Hey all! Guess what? I'm going to be working less!

For those that don't know, I've been working like crazy since I got here (30-35 hours a week, plus 35-40 hours of dance = exhausted.)

I was really convicted about all the work I've been doing....because it's causing me to neglect my time with the Lord, and with others. So anyway, it took me a while to have the courage to finally say NO. I'm cutting about ten hours off my week (SO excited!), so I'll be much more relaxed. Sure, I'll have less income, but I'd rather have time to spend with hurting friends, ministering at church, going to Bible study ect. then have all the things that money can buy. Jesus will supply every need. I am completely confident of that. I'm not just going to decide this without being practical (don't worry parents), I've adjusted my budget (did I ever mention that I LOVE budgeting? Honestly, I think it's fun!)

Anyway, I'm really, really excited! I'm praising Jesus for his goodness, and trusting him to provide. I can't wait to share with you about how he has been faithful.

Love you all!
I'm off to my last night of work! I'll only work mornings from now on!

-Julie

Worthy is the Lamb

2007-10-31T20:59:00.000-05:00

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."

That's all I can say. What else is there? Who am I to complain and to be frustrated with life? The precious, holy, awesome Lamb of God, who was slain for my sins, is with me. He is right here, answering my every cry, wiping away my every tear, comforting my ever doubt.

Praise him!

He deserves our worship. Such great love! It deserves my complete devotion. I pray that this awe of Jesus never fades from my heart and mind. What a good God we serve! PRAISE HIM!

I will adore you Lord Jesus, you are awesome. You are worthy!

I cannot wait for the day that Jesus comes to take us home! I pray that day will be soon. Sometimes I wish that he would take me in my sleep....so I could wake up in his arms. There is NOTHING that I desire more then my savior. I used to want him to wait to come back....I would ask him to wait until I had been to Ballet Magnificat....or until I got married....or until I had kids....but those things are at the back of my mind now. All I want is Jesus. That's not my own desire, it's this desire that the Lord has put in me.

All I can do is fall on my face before Jesus and cry "holy."

Picture time!

2007-10-30T19:26:00.001-05:00

I realized that I was long overdue for putting up some fun pictures from the studio...enjoy!

These ones are of our ballet class....

We took these during our photo shoot a couple weeks ago:

These are of our performances....one at the school, one at a church:

Fun times! Don't you love the bright colored costumes? People from up north may not appreciate them, but the locals LOVE them....and they LOVE it when we do gospel music in our repertoire ballets. It's cool to be able to reach out to them in a way that they understand. Traniee 2's are doing "God gets the Glory" sung by the Mississippi Mass Choir....oh man, audiences eat them up! They love that stuff. It's funny how you have to use different tools to reach different people. But hey, that's the cool thing about Jesus, he's not confined by culture or trends...the gospel can be told in many different ways as long as the truth of Jesus Christ is the heart of the message.

2007-10-29T20:42:00.000-05:00

"My faithful father,
Enduring friend,
Your tender mercies like a river,
With no end.

It overwhelms me,
Covers my sin,
Each time I come into your presence,
I stand in wonder once again.

Your grace still amazes me,
Your love is still a mystery,
Each day, I fall on my knees,
'Cause your grace, still amazes me,
Your grace still amazes me."

Jesus I mean that. I am in complete awe of your grace. Thank you for what your doing in my life. It's hard to be molded....I don't always like the ways you choose to change me....I don't always want to let go of the things you ask me to....but Jesus, I know that you are making me more like you, and so I thank you.

Love,

Julie

Sorry!

2007-10-26T16:24:00.000-05:00

It's been a while!

This week has been VERY hectic!

We had a show yesterday that went really, really well! We danced in a very poor school district, for about 250 kids. They LOVED the performance. Praise Jesus. They were very quiet and respectful (which the teachers said was amazing...probably the first time ever.) Somehow, in their world of hurt and lonliness, something as silly as ballet made a difference. They were able to step outside of themselves for an hour, and focus on the Lord. The dancing was so blessed. We had beautiful unity, and strength, which only comes from the Lord. Personally, I was very uplifted and blessed. Just to know that my simple offering was being used to touch the hearts of hurting kids....wow. It was humbling. I can't really even describe it. Praise the Lord....I'm not just saying that, REALLY, praise him! I don't understand him, but I know that he is awesome.

This week has been a really good chance to rely on God. I made a stupid choice. I chose to work WAY more then I needed to, just because my boss asked me to. Dumb, I know. However, the Lord has a way of turning that sort of thing into a teaching tool. I've had to rely on Jesus for every step, every breathe, every word....because in my own strength I should have already fallen over from exhaustion. Take it for what it is. It may sound crazy, or "hyperspiritual" but that's how it's been. Not only that, but I've had a good attitude (which is unusual, because as most of you know, I can be a bit grumpy when I'm low on sleep ;-) I'm amazed at how God continues to meet every need: spiritual, emotional and physical.

Here's something to chew on. I'll write more on this later, but I just want to get you all thinking on it. I've read this passage over and over and over today (during lunch, during devotions, during rehearsal).

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. " 1 John 4:7-18

I love you all. Talk to you soon.

-Julie

Pictures

2007-10-22T16:40:00.001-05:00

Hey y'all!

I don't have much time to write today, but if you want to see some hilarious pictures from Jeremy's stay in Mississippi click here. It's worth taking a look....especially if you need a laugh....

One prayer request:

We have a performance on Thursday at a middle school near the studio. We're dancing as a part of their drug prevention week. It'd be great if you could say a prayer for the kids we'll be ministering to. My hope is that we'll be able to give them a hunger for Jesus. It'd be great if some of the kids accepted the Lord, but even if not, I'm praying that we will plant seeds in their minds about Christ. We got permission from the school to pray with the students after the performance....which is a big deal, because not all schools will allow that! I know God opened that door for us, and we'll do everything we can to share Jesus with these precious children.

In Christ Alone

2007-10-21T14:34:00.000-05:00

"In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand."

What a WONDERFUL five days. We had an amazing time. So many stories to tell you all! My favorite one was yesterday:

Jeremy and I decided to just go walk around downtown Jackson for a while. We went to the capitol, saw some cool buildings, took some good pictures, and had a nice walk around town. While we were walking, a homeless man came up to us and asked for money. We told him we couldn't give him money, but would buy him a meal. He hesitated at first, saying that he was too dirty and wouldn't want to be seen in a restaurant. He finally agreed, and we looked for a restaurant (unfortunately, there wasn't much in that part of Jackson) so we took him to a farmer's market that we had gone to on the way in. On the way there we talked to him a lot about where he came from, what he had gone through in life, and about his faith. He was a Christian, but had gotten very sidetracked (he sounded like he had been saved and then quit living out his faith for a long time, before finally coming around.) Anyway, he was now HIV positive, homeless, jobless, and in desperate need of help. We prayed with him, showed him some scripture (his only possession was a Bible) and provided him with food. He was very thankful. He told us that he had been really down for the last few days, struggling with doubt and fear. Then Jesus sent us. We were able to care for his needs, and show him the love of Christ. It was incredible.....one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. God so perfectly orchestrated our paths to meet at that exact time and place, just when that poor man needed help....it really amazed me. What an awesome God! I pray God will continue to bring more needy people to you, me, Jeremy, and our new friend, as we all seek to follow Christ. That is what I want my life to about. Sharing the love of Jesus. It doesn't matter when or where, all that matters is the message of hope found in Christ Jesus. Amen?

Good news!

2007-10-16T18:13:00.000-05:00

I love having visitors here!

Last week my grandparents were here from New Mexico. We had a wonderful evening, went out to dinner and took a tour of some of the places I frequent in Jackson. We were able to do lots of talking, laughing and catching up. It was FABULOUS! I miss them already.

God is too good. Not only did I get to see my grandparents last week, but tomorrow I get to see another of my favorite people.....Jeremy! He's coming down tomorrow afternoon and staying until Sunday. I am SO excited! I probably won't write for the next few days. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week....I'll talk to you Monday!

Love,

Julie

Phillipians 3:7-11

Blessed be your name

Mrs. Jeremy Slager

Ransom Captive Israel

I Believe

Psalm 37

Life in the real world

Prayer

Election Day

It's all about Jesus......no really, it is.

Hosea

Consider my servant ______.

SO many thoughts......SO little time.....

The things of earth will grow strangely dim.....

Galations 1:10

Pictures

Hebrews

The POWER of the Gospel

Endless Song

A New Start

It is Well...

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

Pretending

Hurray!!

Some thoughts

Tagged!

Graduation

Vision of You

Reflections

Last performance!

Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace??

Surrender

Stale

Two kinds of Christianity

Ummm...??

The Cross: Ultimate love or foolishness?

Freedom

Chi-town!!

I heart trainee life!

A few thoughts

Revival

Just for fun

Humbled

Prayer

Tornado

Forgiven much

A fresh perspective

There and back again.....into the final stretch of school.

How should we then live?

I'm going home!

Nothing but the blood

The Cross

Waiting vs. Trusting

Evaluations

Commitment vs. Surrender

A Day in the Life

Grace and Forgiveness pt. XXVI

One year later.....

Christ for the Nations

Evaluations

What is love?

Pictures!

18th Birthday

Lamentations 3:20-32

Palma Deus

Goodness

Abandonment

What am I seeking?

God is God

Contentment

Good friends

Love

*edited to add*

The will of God

Recap

In Christ Alone......the second time around

Roller Coaster Christian

Almost home

Captivated

Hymns

edited to add